Lockwood Academy Rivals

Chapter Sixteen

• Evan •   

    After school, all I wanted to do was go lay in my bed and pig out on junk food, essentially eating my feelings. I totally sound like a chick but it's whatever. I don't really care about that right now.

    Mackenzie isn't letting me do what I want, though. She just won't let things be. Everything was fine until I stopped at her house to drop her off.

    "We should talk, Evan." She states as I park my car in her driveway.

    "Talk about what?" I ask her distractedly, itching to be home sulking in my bed. 

    "About Christian. He told me what happened." She says calmly. My eyes widen and I took over to her quickly.

    "What?!" I question, incredibly surprised. No way Christian would tell her about what happened... Why would he be talking to her?

    "Yep. He told me about him being gay and what you did." She says and watches for my reaction. My cheeks heat up and Mackenzie smiles slightly.

    "Yeah, uh, I don't know what I was thinking when I kissed him. I guess I was just maybe upset that he thought I was homophobic or something. So, yeah, it's not like the kiss meant something to me or anything. I don't like him like that." I tell her. I was going to try and be causal about it, but, well; that was not casual.

    Mackenzie raises an eyebrow and gives me a patronizing look. "Sureeee it didn't..." She says. I sigh and glare at her, my heart beating fast in my chest.

    "Evan, listen, you know it's okay if you like him. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it." She says kindly, her face softening.

    "But there is something wrong with it!" I blurt out, causing her to frown. "I don't mean it like that, but, you know. It's wrong for me. I've never in my life liked a guy. It's not normal for me. I'm not gay."

    Mackenzie sighs and shakes her head. "Let me try to make this simple for you, Evan. You don't have to be gay to like a guy. You don't have to be bisexual, pansexual, or any other sexuality."

    "You don't have to put a label on yourself, Evan." She continues. "You like who you like. You don't fall in love with genders, you fall in love with people and their personalities."

    What she says.. sort of makes sense, I guess. I like Christian. I don't have to label myself. I'm just Evan and if I like a boy, I like a boy.

    "I can see on your face that I've gotten through to you! Now you just need to tell Christian how you feel!" Mackenzie says excitedly.

     "No, no, no, no, no!" I say, waving my hands erratically. "Just because I can admit that, yeah, I like a guy, doesn't mean that I would date him. And I would never ever tell Christian how I feel about him!"

    "So what, you're just going to ignore your feelings?" She asks incredulously.

    I nod my head firmly. "Yes. I'm going to act normal and eventually they'll just go away."

     "But why? Why miss the opportunity of something that might be amazing?" She asks.

    I shake my head at her. "Christian would never like me back, I'm just saving myself from embarrassment."

     I hate the way just saying that makes me feel all sad and stuff. I don't know why my heart would make me have feelings for a guy, but I know it would never work out. Especially with Christian. We're completely different.

"Christian likes you, Evan." Mackenzie says and I whip my head around to look a her. No way, I think. What all exactly did her and Christian talk about??

"He told you that?" I ask incredulously.

Mackenzie hesitates before nodding her head. I guess maybe Christian told her not to tell me. This is.. interesting. It's kind of hard to believe, but I know Mackenzie wouldn't lie to me about something like that.

"Yeah, he told me he likes you, but of course he didn't think you would like him back. But you do! So you should totally get with him." She rambles on, but I'm hardly paying attention.

    Christian actually likes me. Wow. So, I like him and he likes me. That's great, but could I actually date a guy? I like Christian sure, but I don't really like guys, do I? I mean, could I ever actually do something with a guy? Obviously kissing is fine, but... sex? There's no way I could ever take it up the butt and I can't see Christian doing that either.

    Whoa! Slow down, Evan. It's a bit too soon to be thinking about gay sex. You're not even with the guy yet.

    I shake my head and laugh at myself. I'm feeling unbelievably happy right now and all because the person I'm crushing on likes me back. I look over at Mackenzie and she has a small smile on her face but she looks kind of conflicted.

"What's wrong?" I ask her, furrowing my eyebrows.

She smiles wider and shakes her head. "Nothing! Now are you going to go get your man, or not?" She asks.

I bite my lip and, to my horror, feel a blush rise to my cheeks. "He's not my man and I don't know. What would people think? Even if we started dating, do you really think we would last?" I ask, voicing my insecurities. I find it a little embarrassing but it's just Mackenzie. I know she won't judge me.

"Do you really want to miss the chance of what might be an amazing relationship just because of what other people think? And do I think it would last? Yes. You've been basically obsessed with Christian for the past three years."

I wouldn't say I was obsessed, but she does have a point. Who gives a fuck what other people think? If I like someone and they like me back, then we should be together. It's no one else's business.

    "Okay."

    "Okay?" Mackenzie questions back.

    "Okay, I guess I'll tell him..." I say, trailing off. I'm already feeling nervous, even though he likes me back. What if he changed his mind or something?

    "That's great! You won't regret it, I promise." She says excitedly. I laugh at her and she grins widely. She's such a fangirl.

    So, I guess tomorrow I'm going to confess my feelings to Christian. It's a scary thing and there are so many things that could wrong, but I'm going to take a chance.

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A/N: I'm sorry this isn't very good. I sort of feel like I'm in a bit of a funk. Thankfully today is the last day of school (I didn't actually go, but yeah) so I'll have a lot more time to write now. Maybe I can even have this story finished by the end of summer ((most likely not going to happen))

Do you guys have any summer goals? I just wanna finish this story and maybe start drinking more water. Lol.