Gold And Coal (Ryden AU)

1.10 ◇ Semi-Charmed Life

Every time I woke from my peaceful slumber, the lady would have me drink some soup.

Around four glasses of soup later, the sun was up when I woke and Brendon sat at the end of the sofa.

"Good morning," he grinned, snapping his book shut and turning towards me.

"Good morning," I croaked in reply, wincing at how sore my throat was.

"How do you feel?" He asked, letting his eyes travel down my blanket-covered body.

"Alright, I guess."

I felt absolutely horrible. I didn't quite understand why, because compared to my normal days, this was luxury, but I felt like I couldn't move a muscle. Every single one of them burned.

Besides, what I had previously managed to ignore, a dull ache spread across my upper body where it was covered with bruises.

I guess before, my body had used up enough pain cells and now that I no longer felt any hunger, it thought it would be alright to let me suffer under a different kind of pain.

Other than that, I felt either extremely hot or icy cold, my head felt like it was about to split in half, my body was covered in sweat, my eyes felt heavy and I was utterly exhausted, despite having spent a long time resting.

Brendon raised an eyebrow at me skeptically. Apparently I didn't look so alright any more than I felt like it.

He didn't push any further though and let it slide, getting up and fixing the tie around his neck.

"I have to go to, uh, work, Diana will be here though," he said, looking anywhere but me.

That reminded me where I was actually supposed to me. I couldn't afford relaxing on my boss' couch. Besides, my father was still at home, probably going insane with lack of beverages.

"I should co-," I didn't get to finish myself before my lungs set themselves on fire and made me caugh violently yet again.

"You're going nowhere," he said firmly, taking a couple of steps towards the door.

"You don't... understand," I wheezed, trying to get my body to sit up.

Brendon stopped and turned around, walking back and kneeling beside the couch, next to my head.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything," he whispered lowly, pushing me back down and giving me a soft smile.

I honestly had no idea how he was going to take care of my alcoholic father he didn't even know existed, but somehow, I believed him and his goddamm chocolate brown eyes.

Diana, as I now knew she was called, came in shortly after Brendon left and brought me another bowl of soup. She told me to rest, but I caught sight of the rays of sunshine flickering around outside and went through immense pain to get up and sit down in front of the window, the blanket around my shoulders.

I sat there for a while, watching the sun rise higher and higher in the sky. I watched birds scavenging for food. I watched rain drops fall from leaves and drying up on the floor.

They might be everyday events, gone unnoticed by most people, but to me, they were precious. They made me feel alive. I wasn't caught up in my usual lifeless, gray life, but there were colors here, movement. They made me realize that although to me, life was cruel and hopeless, for others, life was a wonderful thing, giving happiness and hope.

"Mr. Ryan? Why are you sitting on the floor?"

I jumped at Diana's voice and tore my gaze away from the outside world.

What the fuck even was 'Mr. Ryan'?

"Just Ryan is fine, thank you," I rasped, "I was looking outside."

Diana seemed to contemplate on something for a moment, before walking over to a closet and taking out a pile of blankets.

"If you want you can rest outside," she informed me, carrying them to the door and opening it.

I ecstatically jumped up, regretting that a moment later due to the pain radiating from every part of my body.

Diana set down layers of blankets on the grass and gestured for me to sit down.

Once I did so, she wrapped another blanket around me, ignoring my grunts of protest.

"Mr. Urie will kill me if you get any worse," she explained.

So I sat there, on top of multiple blankets, and huddled up in two more, basking in the warm sunshine. I untangled my arms from under them and removed them from the protection of the blankets. Although the air was cold, the sun made up for it by casting its warmth onto my skin.

It seemed to take away some of the pain, and before I knew it, a smile crept onto my face.

I realised that the world had plenty of good sides aswell, I just had to explore them. Though up until now I had only been confronted with the worst of the worst, this was proof that there was more to it.

The warm rays of sunshine that cheer you up even in your darkest times, tingling on your skin and spreading warmth throughout your body. The soft twinkling of the stars in a clear night sky, reminding you of how there are bigger things out there, how the world goes on even if you feel like it's ending. The soft and gentle drops of rain falling on the ground, that mysterious and peaceful atmosphere it creates, how you can find something beautiful in everything, even though it seems dull and sad at first.

That realization gave me new hope. It gave me courage.

I wanted to discover more of these wonderful things. I didn't want to die without the chance of seeing the beautiful parts of this world.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, I found the will to live.

~ I want something else to get me through this Semi-Charmed, I want something else, not listening when you say 'goodbye' ~