In The Fastlane

Chapter 50

Early chapter because I love you guys x

Chapter 50

*Niall's P.O.V*

Unrequited Love

One of the worst feelings that can overrun a human body. The knowing that you loved her with all your will being and she didn't care. That ever kiss and hug meant nothing to her. The feeling that you worked so hard to get no where. And now she's just gone.

I sat on my couch, my eyes empty of tears. I wanted to run after her, tell her everything was going to be okay constantly. My fingers dwindled together as I wondered where she was. Was she hurt? What if she got sick?

That's the thing I was worried for her own being even if she just dropped my heart and shattered it to pieces.

Love does that to you. Like she said, love is undeniable. I believe she had it for me. I guess not everything in the word would go as planned. My life seemed like an unbearable climbing mountain that just reached its peak and has to make its way back down the the ground safely before I'm once stable again. What if I never become stable again?

My mind wandered to area's I never thought it could. I sat there for nearly hours staring at a blank television. I had received several text messages from Harry asking how my day went. He was probably expecting a better answer than, "She didn't love me." or "She left." I didn't want their sympathy.

I stood up rubbing my hands on my pants slightly and joining them to my eyes. It felt good to get rid of the edges of sleep that had formed from my blank staring contest with the TV. I ran my fingers through my hair and blinked a few times. I let out a cough or two until I picked up my phone from the coffee table.

From Harry: How'd everything go? Are you a laid man?

To Harry: More of a dead man.

I sent the message and slid it into my back pocket. I strided into the kitchen finding the bags with melted ice cream and tumbling apples on my countertop. Her little bucket of hair ties lay in the corner. I started at them intently before I connected my hands with the bin smashing them to the floor.

I had to get my anger out somehow. I connected my foot with the bottom of the fridge, my fist to the top as I trembled with screams. They came out to be a mix between, "Why don't you love me?" or "I hate my fucking life"

Which in reality was completely wrong, I just couldn't face it. I knew what I was doing was wrong. My fists, my blood, and my adrenaline didn't. I made one last attempt to kick the hell out of the fridge and the bottom metal vent came out. Dropping on my toe leading to a sharp scream fall from between my lips. I cowered to the floor cautiously holding my throbbing foot as more tears came down my face. I can't believe one girl was doing this to me.

It was the worst feeling in the world. I didn't know whether to still love her, to fight for her, to be angry with her, or to just forget her all together. Every option seamed to get harder than the other. After removing my shoe and wrapping it with some gauze from underneath the sink I helplessly limped to sit on the island. I pulled out my cellphone sniffling very loudly and wiped away tears with my sleeve.

From Harry: How did you fuck this up?

To Harry: Thanks for the sympathy. Remember when you said you knew this wouldn't end in heartbreak?

From Harry: Yeah?

To Harry: My heart hurts a little more than usual.

I cradled my phone in my hand just hearing my staggered breathing and listening to the humming of the now broken fridge. My phone began to vibrate, showing up Harry's smiling face.

I wish I was that happy.

"Hello," I mutter wiping my nose again with my sleeve.

"Have you been crying?" I want to say he was mocking me, but his voice was in complete seriousness.

"I might have sprained my ankle," I say.

"What did you do? Kick her picture?"

"No." I defend weakly. "The fridge."

"Brilliant," He mumbles clearly disappointed in me. "Where is she?" He questions.

"Have no clue. She just left, with nothing but a bag full of clothing. No car, no nothing."

"It's pouring! She's gonna freeze!"

"Didn't take a genius to figure that one out," I scoff stepping down from the island and testing out my foot. I winced at the pain leading Harry to stay in silence.

"I'm sorry. I would have sworn-"

"Just drop it. She's just a girl. I'll move on, its not like I was gonna marry her." I laugh sarcastically. "I mean she was just a whiney little bitch anyway."

"Niall, you love her." Harry says quietly.

"Loved,"

"You're not going about this right,"

"Going about what right?" I raise my voice. "It's not like we were dating anyway. Everything was purely lust." I could feel my palms sweating as I recalled the way those words rolled off her tongue.

"It doesn't take less than two hours to get over a person,"

"It does in my book."

"Niall, think about it. You just kicked a fridge out of anger because she left you. Do you really think you're over her?"

"Yes," I mumble. "She's not worth my time, or anyone else's. She can go crawling back to Evan for all I care,"

"The only bitch in this relationship is you, Niall." He said harshly. My heart panged against my chest, but it just deflected.

"Speak for yourself,"

"Okay. I get it, you just had your heart broken in two-"

"Thanks for clarifying that blow," I interrupt.

"You're making my apology REALLY hard right now, Horan. I would suggest you keep your mouth shut. LOOK, I understand you just had- she just left you so I will take pity. But I'm not one to stand here and be insulted from someone who's acting like an immature child. If you really loved her you would go after her. Maybe you're right, maybe you don't love her. Maybe everything she did was out to get you. But I guess that'll always just be in your head, tearing every layer of you. Layer, after layer, after layer. So face the fact that she did nothing. She can't love because of what happened to her. You apparently didn't do a good enough job of keeping her with you. Don't blame anyone but yourself."

I was silent. My insides ached as his words hit me. Everyone of them were right, I couldn't blame her. It was my fault she left, therefore I had to leave it at that.

If I was ever going to let her love again I only had one option left.

To move on.

Author's Note:

Sorry its not very long.

5 votes and 10 comments before Sunday x

-Meredith