Can't Fall in Love With You ✧ Rhink

Stay

Here I was, once again. Sprawled out on the couch, drinking another BudLight. This time, Shepard wasn't here to protect me from my own head.

It should be me protecting him, I'm his dad. Yet somehow, he was keeping me grounded. But he's in his own bed, sleeping soundly, while I'm here, trying my best.

Trying my best not to pass out, trying my best to just sit here. Trying my best to ignore my OCD impulses, trying my best to stay here.

It'd be so easy. No one would miss you.

Link would, he said he loved me.

That doesn't mean anything. It'd be easier.

I walked over to the kitchen, pulling out a small knife from the knife block. It wouldn't be worth it, keep strong for Link, the kids. Yourself.

I set the knife back down, fumbling through my back pocket, reaching for my phone. My lanky fingers tapped away at the screen.

Rhett: Sorry if you're asleep. I want someone to talk to.

I shouldn't have sent that. He's probably asleep, and he's gonna hate me.

Selfish.

Link: No, I was already up. What's up?
Rhett: I don't know, just wanted to talk to you :)
Link: I like talking, what are you doing

Trying to stay alive.

Rhett: Just watching tv. You?
Link: Playing UNO with Lincoln. He couldn't sleep.
Rhett: That sounds fun :)
Link: You alright?

No.

Rhett: Yeah, why?
Link: You're typing an awful lot of smiley faces
Rhett: Your point?
Link: You usually don't.
Rhett: Oh. I'm sorry.

No response. I wondered if it was something I had said. I paced the wooden floor, checking my phone every now and then. I finally spotted the three little bubbles.

All three bubbles bounced, taunting me. It seemed like hours, years, before I finally received Link's response.

Link: I hope you know that every time I tell you to drive home safe, to sleep well, to have a good day, I'm telling you I love you. I love you so much, that it's starting to steal other word's meanings. When I look at you, I see a perfect person, then there's me. A weird crazy person with all these problems. But we balance each other out. I don't know what you see in me, or why you chose to be my best friend for 33 years, but I need you. So please, just stay. I know we're both going through some shit right now, but it'll all work itself out in the end. Even if it doesn't, you gotta do this for you. This is for you. This isn't about anybody else. Live for you, honor you. Never loose sight of that. I can't tell things aren't right, and that you're really not fine. I know you Rhett, and I know you're hurting and breaking. I know you hide behind a stone mask that blocks out all negative emotion, but I can see you're unhappy. I need you to stay strong and pull through cause things will get better, and I need you. All I can ever ask of you, is to stay. For me. For Shepard, for Locke. We love you. I love you. I love you more than the moon and back, Rhett Mclaughlin.

The text practically floated off the screen. Each word like a comforting, fluffy hug. Tears pecked at the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall. I grabbed the knife, pushing it back into it's slot on the knife block.

Not tonight, not now.

Not ever.

Rhett: I love you too, Link Neal.