Astray

16

"Now get up and eat the pizza your father ordered for you." Albert says as he gets up and dusts off his pants. Like the marble floor of my kitchen is dirty.

"How do you know stuff about me? My family issues and all?" I ask him as I keep sitting there on the floor, the knife still behind my back.

"It isn't exactly a secret after Sassy said it in the hallway. People who were standing close enough to hear told everyone else and the news kept spreading. Dirt on someone as popular as you can make great gossip you know." He says as he turns to face me.

"What the fuck." I say as I rest my head on the drawers behind me,
"Some people added to the rumours also. Stuff like you're pregnant and Nathan didn't want yout baby so he scandalised you." Albert gestures with his hands in the air and I curse some more in my head.

"I'll need to clear up this mess. I should tell people that what they're talking about isn't true." I say as I cross my legs on the floor.

Albert looks down and gives me a small smile.
"Melissa, you don't always have to set everything right."

"But what they're saying is false and extremely stupid!" I whine.
"So what? Does their opinion make you? Will it change the person you are? No. Why are you even giving them any form of attention? Come on now, get up." He says and offers his hand to me.

I stare at it for a while before slipping my hand through his. I can feel the sweat in his palms and I realize, he is as nervous as me too. With one strong tug, he pulls me up and I'm on my feet.

Maybe that's what we need. Someone to take our hand and help us get up when we fall down. Someone who'll believe in us whenever the world doesn't. Someone who'll stay, no matter what. I believe, if you have just one such person by your side, you can get through anything.

"But Albert, there's one more problem." I say as I keep my hands on my hips.
"What is it?" He asks, as calm as ever even though a slight wave of worry crosses over his eyes.

"I don't like pineapple pizza." I say, trying to control my grin.
He rolls his eyes. "God, you're so dramatic." He says as he opens the pizza box and a delicious smell of grilled cheese fills the air. He starts pinching out all the pieces of pineapple from the top. Soon, the pizza is bare of pineapple.

"See, it's easy. Everything is quite simple if you really think about it." He shrugs.
"But what about the little pineapple pieces you just pulled out?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Those will find a place too." He says as he takes one and pops it into his mouth.
I stare at him as a smile slowly creeps up on my face.

He smiles back as he leans against the table, eating one more pineapple piece. We stand there, staring at each other, smiling. Like we just found someone we thought we didn't need but had been looking for.

Albert slowly moves away from the table and picks up his bag.
"Why did your dad even order pineapple pizza if you didn't like it?" He asks, pushing his specs further up the bridge of his nose.

"I used to like a lot of things that now I don't." I shrug.
"That's called growing up." He says.

"Jeez what are you? Seventeen or sixty? You talk like a philosopher, I swear." I laugh, not showing how deeply his words impact me.
"You can say that I'm just wise." He winks.

"Wow, you wink? Now that's cool." I wink back at him, enjoying this silly banter.

"You make me sound like an old man. Of course I can wink." He gives me a blank look and I burst out laughing.

"But on a serious note though, I think you should come to school tomorrow. Not only will you miss out on studies but people will also think you're a loser." He says, his stance steely with determination.

"I am a loser." I say plainly.
"You're not and you know that better than anyone else." He says and starts to move out.

I stand there, staring after him. Only when he reaches the door, I call out to him.
"Albert?"
"Yes?" He stops and looks at me.
"Take care."
His eyes crinkle at the corner as he gives me a smile so sweet, that warmth rushes through my body.
"You too."

And then he's gone. Leaving me all alone in my house.

•••

The next morning, regardless of what Albert said, I don't go to school. I'll rejoin next week, when Gracie comes back. I won't be alone at least.

I do think about Albert's words. This morning, when dad left for his office, I smiled at him from the top of the stairs. His face at that moment was so joyous, it hurt me to think that I was depriving him of his happiness. The simple satisfaction of seeing his only daughter smile. What would have he been if I had succeeded in killing myself? Is shudder even thinking about it.

I moped around the house instead. I decided to go through a wardrobe change? What if I dress like Gracie? Will I be more decent? I really want to be a nice girl now.

No short clothes, no drugs, no alcohol, no bitching, no sleeping around- I'll try to be classy and elegant. Inspiring. Ambitious. Smart. I want to make a difference.

I should really thank Albert. If he hadn't pulled his deep shit on me, I wouldn't have turned over a new leaf. I smile thinking about his small eyes and cute face. His formal wear and black spectacles. His philosophy and his theories.

Somehow, things seem simpler and I feel hope. And a flutter somewhere. Where was that? Was it my heart?

•••

In my book of short stories, that is Heartbreaks and Heartthrobs, I wrote a story called Restart, ie. Vanessa's point of view about what happened with Simon. You can read that too!