Astray

24

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you after all that's conspired between us." I say as I follow Sassy to the girls' washroom. That, apparently is the space for all things private about chicks.

"You forgot, we were friends." She says as she throws her blonde hair behind her shoulder and settles down on one of the stools.

"Exactly, we were. Enemies can be trusted for once darling, betraying friends cannot." I fold my hands across my chest and lean against the wall.

"Which crappy movie did you watch before coming here?" She smirks a little as she rummages for something in her bag. There's one thing about Sassy though. She's really classy, with her neat charm and confidence. She does the evillest things in such a way that it feels like whatever she did, was absolutely right. Her eyes show that she can destroy your life and her smile makes you feel that it was for your own good. She's dangerous.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here with you." I say as she makes an annoyed sound and lets go of her bag, not able to find whatever she was looking for.

"What I'm here to talk about to you, is for you only. You know Melissa, you think you're changing. You think you're gonna find your way back and shit, you think you can become a good girl by hanging out with that chick. And of course, by taking help from that geek. Do you think that'll work out?" She keeps her hand on the sink and places her chin in her palm.

I should've walked out right then. But I stood stubbornly anyways. "At this point of time, I don't need any negativity in my life Cassandra. And they're Gracie and Albert, people who're better than you, friends who're actually helping me get out of this shithole you never bothered to pull me out of."

She laughs and finally pulls out a packet, probably what she was looking for, from her bag. She takes out a cigarette and lights it up deftly. She then holds it out to me.

I stare at her, then back at the thing in her hands.
"You know you want it." She says.
I do. I take it from her hands and inhale a puff.

"Let me list all the things that are wrong with this plan of yours. Firstly, I heard you hugged Albert the other day. That means you still haven't gotten over your slutty ways. That guy got so damn uncomfortable, not everyone wants you." She says.

I let out some smoke. "That's none of your problem. Spit all the shit you want. Be grateful that I'm even listening to you."

She narrows her eyes. "You think he likes you? That he's fond of you?"
"Well, it does seem like it." I shrug. Being cocky is the only way to be with Sassy. However, I do feel that Albert does like me, even if only a little bit. After all, didn't he tell me that I am his favourite girl?

"You couldn't be any more wrong. Honey, Albert Port doesn't fuck around with girls like you. Nor do you go about with guys like him. He is the expected class valedictorian and will probably go off to Berkeley after high school. He has a future and has dated Dyna Chester, that chick is a part of a team working on an app. You, on the other hand, are gorgeous; but characterless. You date guys like Nathan Greene and drink so much that alcohol runs in your blood. What makes you think that he'll have anything to do with you?" Sassy finishes and the smoke that just left my mouth clogs my vision. Albert dated Dyna. The fact that hurts more than it should. But what hurts the most is that what all Sassy said, is true.

She continues. "You think he protects you and talks good to you, so he's great. Don't you know what goodies-two-shoes like him do? Girls like you, broken and damaged ones, are projects for them. They think they're the nice ones, swooping in and saving them. In hopes of scoring a hook up themselves or maybe just trying to feel good about themselves. These species are more dangerous than the likes of Nathan. They hide their true colours, blinding you, till the point you can only see black and white."

"That's not true." I manage to say. She just brought out all my insecurities to the surface.

"You know it better than me. I'm just here to warn you, despite whatever you think, I do care and I needed to say this. You've been through so much and now you met this one person who seems to be the one. But things are not always what you percieve them to be. Any guy who tries to save you isn't always the knight in shining armour. You're vulnerable, don't let any damn one take advantage of that. Maintain some distance from Albert Port, he may be nice but he isn't for you." She says and starts to get up and head out.

"Why the fuck should I listen to you?" I call out behind her.
"You know I'm right. Like all the time." She says over her shoulder and waves, without turning back.

Yes. I've thought about this. And maybe I've always known, but I've never accepted it. Albert should have had nothing to do with me. I didn't ask to be saved. I didn't tell him to come and stop me from slashing my wrist. Does he feel like a hero after stopping me from taking my life? Does he go over telling his friends about how he scored over this whorish girl by pizza and theories about the universe?

The more I think about it, the more pathetic I feel. Frustated, I take a deep puff of the cigarette in my hand and walk around, pulling at my sleeves. I'm not a pet project. We're not even friends.

When I feel like my mind will burst, I throw the cigarette to the floor and stamp my foot on it, crushing it as bad as it's habit crushed me. And I walk out of the washroom.