Astray

30

I'm sorry. And I miss you.

-R. A

This time, the note is pasted on the inside of my locker door. I pull it off and look around, hoping no one noticed. People have anyways stopped troubling me. I occassionally get a glare or a shoulder push but no one dares to mess with me, they know I can still fuck up their lives.

Why is Roland doing this? He should stop because it isn't helping. He should approach me and ask for forgiveness if he wants it. Or maybe he shouldn't, because I'm not sure if I want to see his face. I haven't seen him around since the day we had a fight. I don't want to, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I walk to Chemistry class. We have theory papers today. I've been concentrating on my studies so I have an idea about it. Honestly, education is all that'll count in the long race. Stupid friendships, boys and drama won't matter once we grow up; the brain we work on in our early years will help us shape our future. I wish I knew this before.

Also, I'm wearing my sexiest crop top and shorts today. Dad was right. I never even wore clothes before to impress guys. I wore them because they look good on me and it is my fashion statement. There are a lot of other aspects to my personality apart from the clothes I wear.

I enter the class and see Albert sitting on the last bench. Eyes shoot up to look at me, they're probably thinking that the old Melissa is back. I ignore them and continue walking towards Albert who is writing something in his book.

"Hey Einstein." I smile at him. When he looks up, his eyes stop on mine before they slowly take in my face, shoot from head to toe and meet my eyes again. And then he licks his lips.

Sexiest thing I've seen all day.

A shiver rushes up my spine before I sit down besides him. He makes space for me and smiles. "Hi."

I know his reaction is so because he hasn't seen me dress up like the badass I am ever since he first started talking to me. Well, he's in for a surprise.

"Albert?"
"Yes?"
"Are you made of Barium and Berrylium? Cause you're a total BaBe."

He looks at me incredulously. For one second. Two. Three.
And then he bursts out laughing. He laughs till his head is resting against the wall behind him and his little eyes are watering at the sides. He laughs without a sound and all I can do is watch.

"Where do you get stuff like that?" He asks once he's done.
"It's not original, I read it off somewhere."
"Oh, but you do give things your own touch Melissa. You're the one whose a babe."

I blush. And I never blush. The things he does to me.

"Anyways, how are you? You look different." He says, shutting his book an directing his attention to me. I love that action of his.

"I just wore something from my previous wardrobe. Something bold and not so body covering." I shrug, aware of how our knees are touching. Ugh, why am I behaving like a fifteen year old girl who is having her first crush?

"You're changing."
"For better or for worse?"
"What do you think?"
"My narcissist alter ego tells me that it's good."
"You're funny, you know?"
"Am I? I thought my only talents were being hot or sexy." I sounded bitter there. I look at Albert who now looks confused.

"Does that bother you?"
I look down at my knees. "People think not so good looking girls are the only ones that have to listen to shit. Beautiful girls get it bad too. We get good marks? We probably screwed the professor. We got a job? We seduced the interviewer. We are loved? That's because we have good looks. Life doesn't become easy when you're an eye candy." I rant. I don't know why I'n saying all this out loud to an unexpected person at an unexpected time.

"I agree. But Mel, life is diffiult for the ones who don't look good. What you said is right but some beautiful people take advantage of the effect they have on people. Not all though. Not you. You're talented, funny and amazing and I'd say this even if I had my eyes closed and had never seen you. Your attractive features are just a bonus. The rest of your qualities make you the person you are, not your face, even though you're so pretty and that's the first thing people would notice. You're more than just a beautiful body."

I feel like crying. I've received compliments all my life, but never have I got anything like this. Ever.

"You're so beautiful." I say to him, my grey eyes lost in his black, beyond those glasses of his.
"Am I?" He grins.
"You are. The most wonderful person I've had the pleasure of knowing."

And once again, I lean forward and crash the air out of him by hugging him tight. This time, once more, he is stiff but takes lesser time to hug me back. His arms feel secure and he smells of mint and ink. He might become my favourite person, my favourite smell. My favourite place.

"You need to stop hugging me like that." He says after I move away. No one is watching us, thank God.
"Why? You're afraid you'll fall in love?" I blatantly flirt.

"I'm afraid you'll fall in love."
"You'll hold me, right?"
"I would, but we're not meant to be. We won't be a good couple."

"We have a long time for that Albert. Till then, just be mine. In the purest sense of the word. My friend, my person. And I'll be yours?" I say all that my heart wants, in the simplest way possible. My heart is beating out of my chest.

He pauses. Studies my face. And then he sighs.
"I think I already am. You and me-"
"Against the world, I know."