Astray

27

Huh.

"How? The two of us aren't very similar." I ask him as I place my temple against my fist and rest my elbow on the steering wheel.

I'm not sure if I like this. I'm not used to being the second best person around and the fact that Albert likes me in any way because he sees someone else in me, doesn't sit well. I don't want to be a reminder of another person. I am like that, it's me or no one else.

"You're trying to change yourself, not because the previous you wasn't good enough. But because you weren't happy  with what you were. You knew you were in the wrong, and that is why you were trying to find the right way back. Even if it is the hardest thing to do. You are strong, and that is the most wonderful quality we share. We both don't ever back down from what we believe to be right."

The things Albert says are beautiful. But what's better than that is the way he says it. With his eyes in mine, his gaze soft. His lips in a small smile, his face is so peaceful. It calms me down. He looks angelic at times like these.

"I'm so glad that I have you." I say.
"You'll always have me. Remember, you and me, against the world?"

We sit there in the car, looking at each other. The chemistry is sizzling, the comnection between us, undeniable. But something stops both of us from making a move. Do I even want to make one? Am I even worthy of him?

"Do I deserve you Albert?"
"Why would you think that?"
"You're a gem. I'm a stone."

To my surprise, he laughs. Loudly, clearly. At this moment, he looks truly young, like the seventeen year old boy he is. His forehead isn't adorned with stress marks and he isn't thinking. He just laughs.

"You do know rubies are stones too, right? Precious stones they call them."
"I mean, I'm a slut. Someone who's been used so many times, my body disgusts me at this point. I can't stay with myself."

"Stop calling yourself a slut, okay? I admit it wasn't one of the best things you did but you're over that now. Stop hurting yourself. You aren't a whore. You have an identity, something better than that. How will people love you if you don't love yourself? Believe that you can do it. And don't be disgusted by your body, it still loves you."

"Have you ever considered being a motivational speaker?" I say when I realize that I don't have words to reply to anything that he said.

"Nope. All my motivation is for a few people only." He winks and flashes a charming smile.
"Thank you for thinking that I'm worthy of this honour." I roll my eyes playfully.

"Melissa?"
"Hmm?"
"I wouldn't hate my body if I were you." He says as his eyes rake over my body once before confidently meeting my gaze again.

That's the kind of man I'd want to be with. Someone who has ethics, morals and values. Who thinks it's greater to be real than to have people who like you. Someone who stands against the storm, even if it threatens to engulf him whole. Someone who respects my independence and space, but still stands behind me, ready to catch anytime I slip. Someone who respects me more than he could ever love me. Someone who can make me laugh and cry at the same time, often rendering me confused as to which emotion I should feel. Someone who protects me from the world, but does not hinder my growth. A man who believes that the only location  I should stay at is his heart and eyes, but has no problem in showing me my place at times too. Someone who'll kiss me till my lips are sore and love me till my heart is full. I don't have a type, but if I did, it'll be him. It'll always be him.

"Do nerds flirt like that?" I bat my eyelids at him.
"Nerds flirt better than you can ever think of." Albert looks amused.

"I'd love to know more about it." I bite my lip.
His gaze falls to my mouth before he composes himself.
"I'd love to show you about it."

So, so, so much of tension. Here's the thrill of the chase. The feeling I love so much. And a guy who's completely worth it. The right one. This is scary but oh so exciting.

My phone chooses to ring at that exact moment and I'm partly relieved, partly upset. Albert regains his cool and leans back into his seat, looking out of the window.

"Where are you, Mel?" Gracie's sweet voice floats from the other end.
I clear my throat. "I'm out."
"Out?"
"Out of the school."
"Jeez, what are you doing out of the school?"

"I mean, I am in the parking lot."
"What about the one period you missed?"
"I don't think anyone noticed I was missing."

"Oh okay. I couldn't find you so I was just enquiring. The time table for the final exams have been put up. Should I send you a picture of the same?"

"Yes, thank you so much."
"Oh, it's no problem."
"I love you, bye!"

Albert turns to look at me. I pretend to look straight ahead.

"Haha love you too. Tata." She hangs up.

"Who was it?" He now looks curious.
"Why?" I ask.
He looks taken aback. "I don't know, just asking?"

He resumes staring out of the window. "It was Gracie." A small smile plays on my lips.
"Great." He shrugs. I smile.

I know he cares, and it feels great.

We sit in silence for a while and when the bell rings, Albert accompanies me to class. People don't look at us with disgust anymore. The fresh news is about Judy getting a tattoo on her ass, so they're flocking around her now.

As I reach my locker, I wave Albert goodbye and watch him disappear down the corridor among throngs of people. I open my locker and a little note stumbles out.

I'm sorry.

-R.A.