You're My Everything (a dawsey fan fic)

We traded places

An hour or two later the door bell rings, I got up slowly but quickly before it could ring again before it could wake gabby up. I opened the door to see it was Herman. I would let him in but gabby needed her sleep so i walked outside to the front porch.
Matt: hey Man, id let you in but gabby is resting on the couch, she really needs the rest.
He nodded understandingly then we hugged for a second and let go
Matt: how have you been holding up
Herman: surprisingly okay, it's going to be so different without her around you know..
I nodded slightly.
Herman: how's gabby been?
Matt: not quite sure yet, I want her to talk to me but I just don't want to push it you know?
Herman: yea, I feel ya. We just have to all try and stick together.. How about you guys come to Molly's tomorrow, I'm trying to get everyone together so we can toast to shay?
Matt: I'll see what we can do, and I'll text you tomorrow, definitely let you know okay?
Herman: yes of course.
Herman shakes my hand as we said goodbye for the night.
I walked back inside thinking to myself. Next shift starts in a little more then 48 hours, I need to talk to gabby, I need her to talk to me so I know when we are on shift I know she is okay for the most part.
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Gabby pov:
I heard the door open and then shut, I opened my eyes slightly to see matt standing in the door way looking at his phone. I sat up rubbing my eyes. I really should go home, I need to stop worrying Matt and i really should shower. I need to get new cloths on and i kind of want to lay in my own bed, I just don't want to be alone.
Would I be a pain in the ass if I asked Matt to come home with me? I need to be the big girl that I am and take care of myself for once. Do I really want to leave?
I uncovered myself and Matt saw out of the corner of his eye and looked up at me.
Matt: hey gabby, sleep well?
I nodded.
Gabby: yea, I really did. Thank you Matt..
Matt; want to order some food in?
I shook my head,
Gabby; i think I'm going to go home for a bit Matt.. I need to shower and change into different more comfortable clothes...I'm sorry..
Matt: no no, don't be. it's probably a good idea gab, go home, shower and change.
Gabby; I'll come back sometime tonight, okay?
He nodded, I knew he was nervous to send me off to my house alone burin really needed it, I think.
I got up and grabbed my things, I gave Matt a short kissed and I walked out of his place.
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Matt pov:
I watched her walk out of the apartment.
should I be letting her go by her self, should I go with her. What if she does something stupid. She probably won't but I'm nervous.
She really needs her space, okay so I'll clean up around the house and if she doesn't call or text me within the next two hours I'll call her.
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Gabby pov:
I got home and I just couldn't take it. I'm so angry and mad but especially at myself. Why did I let this happen. It should have been me, not shay.
I started smashing and throwing everything off the tables.
"IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME NOT HER"
I sat on the floor crying.
I finally after 15 minutes pulled myself together, I walked upstairs and hopped in the shower, it sort of calmed me down you can say. I haven't had a good nice warm shower in a couple days so this was nice. I cleared my head. I got out of the shower put some yoga pants on and a spaghetti strap dark blue tank top on and I grabbed my brush from my dresser and brushed my hair out then i saw a picture of shay and I, sitting in the ambo. I saw it sitting on my dresser, I cracked a smile while looking at it, I picked it up and walked over to my bed and just sat there crying.
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Matt pov:
It's been a little over an hour nothing from gabby.
I started calling her and texting her. I probably seem very annoying but I'm worried. I grabbed my keys and a light jacket.
I headed to gabby's house since she wasn't answering my texts or my calls, my protective boyfriend senses came in and I decided to drive over there. Praying to god she is okay. I took out my phone and tried to call her again, no answer.
I arrived to her apartment and with the key she gave me a while back i entered her place. It was a mess. Pictures were broken, glass was broken, there were blankets and cloths all over the place. I walked in and closed the door behind me.
I bent down and picked up the broken glass and pictures that were on the ground.
I thought to myself, where is gabby?
Matt: GABBY?
I heard a weak voice response.
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Gabby pov:
I heard the front door open, the first thing i heard was a yell from downstairs it sounded like a familiar voice, it was Matt.
Matt: GABBY, WHERE ARE you.
Gabby: I'm up here..
I said so weak.
I heard footprints grow closer and matt finally saw me sitting on the side of my bed, back towards the bedroom door..
Matt: gabby.. what happened?
Gabby: Nothing.
Matt: downstairs is a mess, are you okay gabby?
Gabby: I'm so frustrated and angry and-
That's when a couple tears fell down my face. Matt walked over and sat down next to me
Matt: I know you lost your best friend gabby but baby you got to talk to me, please talk to me..
I shake my head, I can't do it, I want to but I can't talk.
Gabby: i didn't lose her Matt, i got her killed.
I felt Matt look at me with a confused face.
tears started to gather up in my eyes and then it all just happened. I started crying, letting every emotion out, I placed the picture of shay and I sat down on the bed and looked up at Matt who was about to sit down beside me.
Dawson: we traded places....
I said slowly and low, hoping he didn't hear me. But I saw Matt look down at me. It was getting harder for me to breathe bc I was getting so mad at myself.
Gabby: we traded places -tries to catch her breath- I told her to switch with me, -starts breathing heavy- I told her to switch with me and she ended up right where I was standing. Where I should have been when the beam c..came down. -takes a deep breath and starts crying harder.-
Matt moved closer to me and pulled me into his arms and let me cry in them.
Gabby; it should have been me
I cried more.
It felt good letting it out, it felt good letting all these bottled emotions out of me.
It felt good finally being able to tell him how I felt. He was the most important person in my life.
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Matt pov:
I pulled her into my arms. I'm so happy she thought about letting me know how she was feeling. I'm happy she trusted me enough to let it all out.
I held her tight in my arms, kissed the top of her wet head. She started to calm down and released the hug. I let her go and she looked up at me.
She said something in a mumble, I didn't quite understand it. She said it again.
Gabby: thank you.
Matt: for what babe?
Gabby; everything,for being here for me through it all.
Matt: of course gabby, I wouldn't want to have it any other way..
I hugged her tightly as she wiped her face.
Matt: i let go and looked at her. You okay?
She nodded
Gabby; i mean, I'm better. I feel a lot better to be honest. Thank you for listening to me. It helped a lot.
I pulled gabby into another hug and I smiled. Knowing that me just listening to gabby made her feel somewhat better is all that matters to me. I love this girl more then anything. I would do anything for her.
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Gabby pov:
Having Matt here, just listening to me helped me more then he will probably ever know. I love him so much. I am so thankful to have him in my life. These past two days have been so horrible but having him with me through it all made it easier then it would have been if I was by myself.
I kissed his cheek while I pulled away from the hug.
Matt: what was that for?
Dawson; just for everything.
I cracked a smile, this time, it was a real smile and I think he knew that. He pecked a kiss on my forehead.
Matt: how about
He looked down at me
Casey: me, and you, rent a movie and eat some ice cream for the rest of the night?
Gabby; i really like that idea.
I looked up at him.
Gabby: I'll grab blankets and the movie, you get the ice cream?
Matt: sounds good
Matt smiled, I could tell it was a genuine smile he was happy.
I grabbed the blankets two blankets from the closet and I went downstairs and sat on the couch waiting for Matt to come over with the ice cream. We rented a movie on demand and that's how we spent the rest of the night.
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Matt pov:
I opened my eyes, for a second i didn't know where I was. I looked down and saw gabby leaning on me still asleep. I couldn't help but smile. We must have fallen asleep during the movie. I looked at the time, it was 9am. I slowly got up from under her and rested her head on the pillow. I walked to the kitchen which isn't mine so I had to look around for the coffee and the mix to make pancakes.
I found everything for the pancakes that I needed and I made some. I guess gabby woke up from the smell, I mean how couldn't she, they smelt great.