Fire Emblem Fairy Tales

The Three Swordsmen

Reina: Here's another popular Fairy Tale!

Original Fairy Tale Name: Three Billy Goats Gruff

Writer(s)/Collector(s): Peter Christen Asbørnsen and Jørge Moe

Once upon a time, there lived three brothers who were mercenaries. The oldest was named Ike, the middle one was Marth, and the youngest was Roy. They lived in a small town, and frequently did jobs for the villagers.

One day, the village refused to pay them for their jobs, despite the fact that had been promised. Angered, Ike convinced his brothers to pack up and leave, hoping to find a new village that would appreciate their skills.

"Are we there yet?" Roy whined as the three brothers walked along. "It feels like we've been walking forever...."

"It's only been a few hours," Marth admonished. "It's not like we've been walking for days."

"The closest village should be across the hills and over the bridge," Ike muttered as he looked at a map. "It's a rather large village, so hopefully they have jobs there."

Once all three of them crossed the hills, they were close to a bridge. Before they could cross, Ike stopped.

"S***. I forgot that we might need food. I'll go hunting quickly. You guys wait for me on the other side of the bridge."

Marth and Roy nodded as they watched the eldest enter the woods. The two then went to the bridge. Before they could cross, Marth's cape came undone, and as he went to fix it, his tiara fell off.

"Argh!" Marth hissed. Roy couldn't help but laugh at his brother's wardrobe malfunction. "I'll go ahead!" Roy stated as he dashed towards the bridge to avoid Marth's wrath.

As soon as Roy was on the middle of the bridge, a troll by the name of Iago jumped onto the bridge. "I'm going to eat you," he told Roy.

"Eep!" Roy jumped back a bit. Earlier, he had broken his sword when he hit a rock, so he couldn't exactly defend himself. As Iago approached him, Roy had an idea.

"Don't eat me!" Roy demanded. "My bigger brother is coming!"

While Roy had meant it as a threat, Iago took it that Marth would provide a better meal. Smiling, he moved to the side. "You may pass."

Roy dashed past the troll and stood on the other side of the bank, waiting for Marth to kill Iago.

After a few minutes, Marth began to cross the bridge, and he was in a bad mood. He was so angry that he didn't notice the troll until Iago laughed. Marth looked up and shrieked, backpedaling until he tripped and fell over. Sadly, Ike had his sword, so Marth couldn't kill the troll.

"I'm going to eat you," Iago hissed.

Before Marth could say or do anything, a "DAMMIT" echoed through the forest and reached his ears. Marth sighed. Ike obviously got hurt or something.

"Why do you swear, Ike?" Marth muttered, forgetting about Iago.

"Who's Ike?" Iago asked.

"My big brother."

Iago thought for a second. While he could eat Marth, this Ike could provide more meat for him. Smiling, he looked at Marth. "You may pass."

Without further pushing, Marth got up and dashed to join Roy. He was hopeful that Ike would deal with Iago.

After what seemed like an eternity, Ike approached the bridge, carrying a bag of meat over his shoulder and a sword in his hand. While he was hunting, Ike accidentally crashed against a tree, hence his yell. Thankfully, he wasn't too injured, and he was eager to join his brothers.

As soon as Ike stepped on the bridge, Iago went to meet him.

"Who the hell are you?" Ike asked the troll.

"I am Iago the troll who lives under the bridge, and I intend to eat you."

"What. The. F***." Ike asked. "Are you seriously telling me this? What's wrong with you?"

"I am a troll. Trolls eat people."

"No s***," Ike responded. "My question is why you tell people that before you eat them."

"It's my thing," Iago retorted defensively. "Although I didn't eat the last few people who crossed the bridge...."

"Who were they?"

"Your brothers."

Ike glanced at the bank and saw Marth and Roy. He sighed, the looked at Iago. "While I am glad that you didn't murder my brothers, I'm afraid that you have to stop eating people."

"And how are you going to manage that?" Iago sneered.

"With this." Ike dropped the meat and gripped his sword tightly. With one swift arc, he cut Iago in half, and proceeded to throw his body into the river for good measure.

"Good riddance," Ike muttered as he picked up the meat bag. He crossed the bridge, where his two brothers eagerly met with him.

"You killed the troll!" They cheered.

Ike sighed. He put the bag down, and proceeded to bop both of his brothers in the head at the same time.

"Hey!" Roy protested as he massaged his head. "What was that for?"

"You're both idiots for not killing the troll," Ike muttered.

"Well, I would have if you didn't have my sword," Marth snapped.

Ike realized that both of his brothers didn't have swords. "Oh. My bad."

Marth rolled his eyes. "Let's just go," he muttered as he picked up the bag of meat.

Eventually the three brothers reached a new village, where they better appreciated. And so they lived happily ever after.

The End

Starring:

Ike as the oldest soldier

Marth as the second soldier

Roy as the youngest soldier

Iago as the troll

Notes:

- This was supposed to be about three goats, not three soldiers

- Depending on the version, it's either three brother goats, two parent goats with a kid, or a grandfather goat, a father goat, and a young goat, but most versions have them as brothers

- The goats left their home because they ran out of grass and wanted to have more than enough to eat

- The reasons why the younger goats told the troll to go after the older goat was for the troll to eat the older goat. And somehow they still get along afterwards

- In the original tale, the oldest goat head butted the troll, sending him into the river

The next fairy tales are:

- The Little Mermaid

- 2 versions of Cinderella

- Pus in Boots

- Rumplestilskin