Fire Emblem Fairy Tales

The Crazy Cat

Reina: For laughs, here's this story.

Can you guys let me know if I did Owain's lines justice?

Original Fairy Tale Name: Puss in Boots

Original Collector/Writer: We don't know! But Perrault adapted it at some point.

Once upon a time, there lived a man by the name of Henry. Henry was a miller with three sons - Morgan, Gerome, and Inigo. When Henry was about to die, he summoned his three sons and began to give them gifts.

To Morgan, the oldest, he gave him the mill.

To Gerome, the middle child, he gave him a horse.

And to Inigo, the youngest, he gave him....

A cat.

After doing this, Henry died.

Inigo was angry that he had a cat. He laid down on his bed, trying to figure out what to do. Since Morgan owned the mill, he couldn't exactly do anything to earn money.

"Yo," the cat said.

"Gah!" Inigo jumped up. "Who said that?"

"I did!"

Inigo looked at his cat. "What."

The cat stood up on his hind legs. "I am the legendary Owain Dark!"

Inigo looked at the cat. After a few seconds he laid back down, saying "Maybe I shouldn't drink wine..."

"Deluded fool!" Owain yelled as he hit Laslow in the head. "I will make thee a worthy man!"

"NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT!" Inigo yelled at Owain.

Owain ignored him. "I need some clothes to look decent. Can you fetch me a pair of boots made of ire?"

Grumbling, Inigo got up and left the house. When he returned two hours later, he saw Owain wearing some clothes that he outgrew and admiring himself in the mirror.

"Thank you, underling!" Owain yelled cheerfully as he snatched his boots from Inigo. "I will now go out and mete out justice!"

Inigo shook his head and left the room. What was wrong with this cat? (Reina's note: EVERYTHING is wrong with him.)

After putting on his boots, Owain left the house and wandered outside. Seeing a rabbit in the distance, he snuck up behind it and killed it. He then carried with him to the castle, where he requested an audience with the king.

After waiting for several minutes, Owain was allowed in the court. Bowing, he presented the rabbit to the King.

"King Chrom," Owain stated as he offered the rabbit. "My legendary lord Laslow of Nohr presents this as a gift." (Reina: Why'd you change Inigo's name?)

Chrom raised his eyebrow. He thought he saw everything when it came to strangeness (such as a princess waking up after a 100 years, a girl being sent flying into the air after throwing herself off of a boat, a hedgehog turning into a human, etc.) but a lord sending a talking cat in boots definitely took the cake. Pausing for a minute, he accepted the cat's gift. "Thank you...?"

"The legendary hero Owain Dark!"

Chrom smiled. "Thank you Odin."