Never Knew I Needed

Prologue

Andréas

Eighteen Months Ago...

I wasn't going to stop running. I couldn't stop running even if I wanted to. It is half past midnight. Accents of small stars are scattered across the dark sky above. My legs burn like hell, feeling as if they were growing heavier by the minute. Yet, the adrenaline running through my veins is keeping me going, so I press on. The air is thick and hot, wrapping tight around my neck like a noose.  Other than the sounds of cars driving in the distance and the rise and fall of voices that emanate from late-night bars, all I can focus on is the pounding of my sneakers against concrete and my ragged breaths that wheeze out of me. I am exhausted. But, I put myself in one dire situation that I couldn't fix.

How could I have been so stupid? I did something I didn't think I was ever capable of doing. I was so angry, felt so betrayed. How could she do this to me?

My first mistake was going somewhere I had no business being. My second one was getting absolutely drunk out of my mind. My third mistake. Now that was idiotic and psycho. Monstrous. I was so on edge that logic left my mind, and I acted out of rage.

My cousin, Ortiz, tried to stop me right before I had done it, but he couldn't. My flesh took over, and my mind was left elsewhere. Now, I wish I could take it all back.

Minutes past and my body lets me know I can longer keep running. Quickly, I dip into an alley about seven blocks away from where I took off. I trip and fall, landing in front of a dumpster. I scramble to sit up against it to keep myself out of sight in case anyone is coming to find me, which is highly likely. I clutch onto my t-shirt, breathing heavily while my head hangs low and spins in circles. No matter how still I am while sitting, my head keeps spinning, as if I am on a never-ending carousel. Everything in sight is tilted and blurred, and finally, I can't take it anymore. I lean over, place my hands on the jagged gravel, and vomit, relieving myself of all the gunk that was swirling in my stomach. After I finish, I wipe my mouth with my arm and sit upright again. I run my hands down my face, anxiety filling my bones because I'm not sure about what my next move is. 

Suddenly, I feel something vibrating in my pocket. Ortiz's name is displayed on my phone screen. Hesitantly, I answer.

"Hello?" I slur due to the liquor still in my system. Now that I think of it, downing half a bottle of stolen Patrón probably wasn't a wise choice.

"André! Where the hell are you?" His voice rises in anger. I shut my eyes tightly and exhale deeply.

"Don't worry about it." I spit out.

"Andréas, don't play with me, man. I need to know where you are. I wanna help you."

"You can't help me, Ortiz, don't you understand that?" I screamed angrily, "I really, really, really screwed up. You can't help me, you just can't." I repeated, forcing back tears. I heard my cousin sigh on the other side of the line. I know I was being difficult but he had to understand where I was coming from. I dug my self a hole that I can't get out of. 

"Look, I understand you messed up, Andre, but we'll get through this, man. I know you're scared but I'm scared, too. You left me. Just let me know where you are. I need you, hermano." He says with sadness laced in his voice. I sigh and curse under my breath.

"Fine. I'm in an alley, on..." I check the street sign, "Roseville Road. Seven blocks away." I say. Ortiz is quiet for the moment and unless my mind is playing games with me, it sounds like he exchanges words with someone.

"Oh, I know that street. Okay, we're coming." He hangs up, and I grunt. I am a little confused that Ortiz said, 'we're coming' but I am too weak to give a shit. I clutch my growling, hollow stomach. I haven't eaten in hours, nor have I had any water, so I'm drained. As I lean against the cold, trash bin, I close my eyes and replay the situation that led up to where I am.