Never Knew I Needed

Chapter 34- As Long As I'm Here

Andreas's POV

*One Month Later*

I don't understand why he doesn't speak to me.

He let's me make his breakfast and lunches, he accepts cheap toys- because I'm broke right now- that I buy him, but when I try to talk to the kid he just ignores me like Abell does.

I just want to understand Jacob.

It's been a month since Le'annaMarie and I's "date" and the last time I talked to her was that night...a month ago. I feel so freaking bad and I'm pissed at myself for doing her wrong, but I don't want her involved in my messed up life. It's too much drama- especially since I found out about Jacob. But deep inside of me, I know that I need her.

I don't know what it is inside me that causes me to keep pushing her away. I guess I worry that if she meets my family- specifically Abell- that she won't want to be involved with me anymore. Who would want to? It also may be the fear of Le'annaMarie running away if she finds out what I did. S***, who am I kidding? That is the reason I push her away. I feel like it'll be better that she never finds out what I did. If we continue to become closer, I'll eventually have to tell her- which is something I don't want to do. This is a secret I can't keep from her. So I'm gonna make sure we don't become too close to where I'll have to tell her.

I'm sitting on the sofa, watching Jacob playing his with his race cars. Abell is gone, doing whatever, while Aubrey is working a late shift. I was supposed to go to school today then go to work afterwards but there was no babysitter for Jacob so I stayed with him. Besides, I don't trust Abell alone at home with a four year old, especially with him being the one in charge of his safety.

Jacob lost his grandmother- Aubrey's mom- a month ago. He has lived with grandmother and has been raised by her since the day he was born. Aubrey was seventeen when she found out she was pregnant by Abell. I guess her mother knew Aubrey couldn't handle the responsibility of raising a child, so she took Jacob in. Although I'm sure Aubrey would have wanted to have custody of her child, I know it's very stressful right now. I heard that she died of a heart attack and Aubrey was crushed. I'll admit I felt really bad for her because I had never seen her that broken before.

However, I feel even worse for little Jacob. He lost the woman who raised him, cared for him and loved him. I'm sure Aubrey wanted to be there to love Jacob. But I know she knew what was best for him. From the looks of it, Jacob came from a good place. It's obvious his grandmother was a great caregiver- no painful bruises or scars on him. But knowing the fact that Abell doesn't welcome Jacob, that could change. It's going to be my responsibility now to make sure that Jacob doesn't recieve the same abuse from Abell as I do. I can't even stomach the thought of seeing a boy as small and fragile as him being abused.

"Hey, Jacob. Are you hungry?" I asked him. He looked at me with sad eyes shook his head, then turned back to his cars. I understand the situation he is in. He lost the only person he was close to and has to move in with his mother he never really knew. And the only reason he understands that Aubrey is his real mother is because his grandmother has shown him pictures.

I'm trying to be patient with him but it's irritating that he never says anything to me or never responds when I ask him a question.

"Jacob?" I said in the calmest way I could. He slowly turned his head towards me and stared at me blankly.

"Look, buddy...I know you are still sad about your grandma..." He looked down for a second then looked back up with teary eyes. That caused pain in my heart.

"I know that you aren't used to being here with Aub- mommy...or daddy, and me. But I am here for you as your big brother. You just have to speak to me, buddy..." I said. He continued staring at me and I did the same thing.

"Are you scared of me?" I asked quietly. I didn't even want to hear his answer because it would offend me for reasons he doesn't know about.

"No." I shot my head up when he answered in a faint voice. That was not the expected answer but I was even more suprised and glad he actually spoke.

"You speak..." I said to myself, "if you're not scared...why don't you talk to me or answer me?" I asked and he shrugged, tossing his cars away. I gave him a look, telling him he needs to use words.

"I think you wouldn't like me." He said and I was shocked that he actually thought about these things, being so young.

"Of course I like you, Jacob. You're my little brother- or half-brother to be specific." I said.

"What's a half-brother?" He asked curiously.

"Well...no matter what you're still just my brother, but it's when two or more sibilings, like me and you, have one of the same parent and one different parent. For example, you and I have the same dad- Abell. But we have different moms." I explained.

"Aubrey is my mommy, not you're mommy?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Who is your mommy?" He asked and my blood boiled.

"Her name is Maria." The name tasted sour on my lips.

"Oh..." He said and he began playing with his cars again.

"See...talking wasn't that hard, was it?" I asked.

"No..." He answered. The same sad expression appeared on his face- something is still bothering him.

"What's on your mind? Or what are you thinking about- you look sad." I said.

"I like my mommy because she is nice and pretty...but I don't like my daddy- he is mean." He said.

"What makes you not like daddy?" What does he do when I'm not here?

"He yells at me and mommy...I'm scared he will hurt me." Jacob said timidly.

"As long as I'm here, he'll never hurt you. I promise." I said.

"Pinky- swear?" He asked. I held up my pinky and he grinned before getting up and running to interlock our pinkies.

"Pinky-swear, bud."

"Ok...uh, Andréas...can I have a sandwich now. I'm hungry."

"I asked you earlier." I smirked.

"I was scared to say 'yes'..." He said, embarrassed.

"You were just gonna let yourself starve, really Jacob?" I asked jokingly and he looked down.

"I forgot you're still sensitive..." I whispered to myself, "never mind," I patted his shoulder, "You're okay, bud..."

************

Hey hope you liked the chapter?

As you read, try to find how Andréas and Jacob are similar...I created Jacob's character as a slight reflection of who Andréas was and is now...just keep reading and you'll see how these similar brothers will grow a stronger bond!

Please vote and comment!