spacenames- phan chat room AU☆

47%

"I think I'm going to start wearing makeup more."

Phil was casually playing guitar hero as he and Dan skyped, but paused it and looked over at him after he said this.

There was a moment of silence before Phil shrugged.

"Cool."

And unpaused his game.

Dan grinned down at his bedspread, crumpled up because of him sitting on it. He didn't know why he was so nervous to tell Phil about this. Of course he would be fine about it.

"You looked great in it the night you wore the dress. Remember to send pictures when you do it, I expect a few thousand." Phil said, smiling slightly.

Dan laughed. "I know. I'll probably be taking about a thousand pictures anyways, so it sounds like a plan."

"Are you going to start wearing more dresses and stuff too?"

Dan shook his head.

"Nah, I'm just good with a little makeup for now."

Phil nodded, cursing when he messed up his game.

It had been 2 weeks since Dan had gotten home, and the two boys had skyped every single day for a few hours since.

But sadly, that didn't stop Phil from being lonely and Dan from falling into a spiraling pit of sadness, which he could never seem to escape.

"Hey- I'm not sure if we'll be able to skype tomorrow." Phil spoke up, stopping his game again to look at Dan through the screen.

"Oh?" Dan replied, straining to keep his voice steady. "How come?"

"Chris and PJ invited me out, so we'll be together most of the night."

"What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, nothing. Honestly, it doesn't really even matter either." Phil laughed. "I'll probably be too busy texting you the entire time to pay attention."

Dan let out a laugh, but still couldn't help but feel that is was still forced.

Why am I being such a bitch? He questioned himself. Let Phil have fun, stop being such a clingy boyfriend.

Dan shook his head to himself, trying to shake the thoughts out of his head. He wasn't being clingy. No way. He wasn't like that at all.

Phil's going to leave you.

Might as well just give up on him now.

I bet you he's only still with you now because he feels bad for you. Poor Danny, the adult who needs to get his shit together.

As much as Dan shook his head, the thoughts didn't seem to leave. Before he knew it, there were tears poking at Dan's eyes.

"Dan?" Phil questioned, concerned by the sudden silence.

"I-I've gotta go- really quick- taking care of something-" Dan choked out, then starting to cough in attempt to cover up his on-the-verge-of-tears voice.

Not now. Of all times for shit like this to happen, why now?

"Dan? Are you oka-"

"I'm fine." Dan snapped, quickly ending the call.

Then he slowly curled up, his head in his hands, eyes tightly shut.

Don't you see?

See what?

This is why Phil's going to leave you.

He won't leave. He's promised me he won't.

Oh, but he will. It's a shame you're like this, really.

What's that suppose to mean?

It's a shame you're so hopeless. So fragile. If even one thing  touched your emotion, you'd crumble. It's why you're so panicked annoying. You're too afraid Phil's gonna drop you like Jayden did, and leave you alone to die.

You have no right to bring him into this conversation. Why are you even here? You haven't appeared in weeks.

Oh Dan. You should know me by now, I've been around forever.

I don't. How am I suppose to know you if you aren't even suppose to have a name?

Oh, well I'll easily tell you.

My names anxiety.

I never leave.

•-•
A/N:

HI

FIRST OF ALL: THANKS FOR 5k!!!!!

Secondly:

SORRY THIS IS CRINGEY??

~🌙