Autistic Innocence

Chapter Twenty

(Sorry it's short, next one will be longer I promise! I just wanted something to update..)

(A/n: I got in my feeling writing this chapter.. I miss Avalanna and Justin so much and I just wish she could be here and just witness the Purpose album😭 RIP Avalanna)

Justin's P.O.V

My foot rapidly taps against the hard tile beneath it. The cold waiting room of the children's hospital way to colorful and happy for such a sad and depressing place. Avalanna had another one of her attacks once we got home about three days ago and the doctors haven't told me anything except the same thing, that they're doing all they can and will check in with me though her testing. That's bullshit. I've been kicked out of her room five times these last three days, the monitors all making faster and faster beeps that scared the crap out of every single time. The doctor, Dr. Adams, soon came out of her room and made his way over to me. He had a sad expression in his eyes and his head was hung slightly low. To say I was nervous was an understatement. "I-is she okay?" My voice cracked, probably because I've been crying my eyes out and screaming when I was alone until my throat felt raw. It was hard to face Cameron and Lilly and to see their faces when Amelia was going through her little episode and having to call the ambulance because I didn't know what else to do, so right now they were at my moms house and I would go pick them up tonight. "Mr. Bieber, I'm so so sorry to tell you this. I really am. But please believe me when I say that we're doing everything we can to help your daughter. We found two more tumors growing inside of her brain, and because we didn't see it in time, it began eating it's way around. We managed to save ninety percent of her brain though as the good news in this situation." He smiled sadly at me. "W-what about the other ten percent?" I ask, barely above a whisper. He shook his head slowly. "It's dead." His voice matches mine. I feel my heart shatter in my chest and drop into my stomach. I take in a shaky breath and rub my hands on the jeans I was wearing, tears blurring my vision. "She won't live much long-" I cut him off. "Don't. Finish. That. Sentence. God, don't ever finish that sentence in your life!" I shout as my fist come down on the waiting chairs beside me, the tears running down my face freely now. "Mr. Bieber, please calm down!" I didn't hear him though. My baby girl was hurt. She was extremely hurt. I push the chairs over in pure anger and sadness and collide my fists with the wall, creating holes in the process. I screamed until my lungs couldn't take it, and I screamed some more. Doctors came and tackled me to the ground, Dr. Adams included. My knuckles were all scratched up and somehow my nose began bleeding in the process. But I couldn't feel the physical pain.

Only the pain of my knowing that my daughter was slowly dying.

And I couldn't do anything about it.

The tears didn't stop as that thought kept replaying over and over in my mind. Dr. Adams held me to him and I didn't fight it. I was too weak. "Why her?" I cried. "Why does God have to take her from me? Why did he choose her out of everyone? Huh? Why does he have to take my little girl." I shut my eyes tightly as the tears ran down my face nonstop and a headache was beginning to form from all the crying, but I didn't care. "She's my little girl man." I cried into his shoulder. He sat there and allowed me too in silence, no judgements at all.

"She's my little girl."