Autistic Innocence

Chapter Twenty One

Justin's P.O.V

"I-is she gonna be okay?" Cameron asks me that night in the waiting room. Lilly was at the little play room area they had for kids, at least somebody was having fun at this time. I sighed and shook my head slightly, my attention back on the conversation I was having with Cameron. "I don't know man, I know just as much as you do and it scares me." I say truthfully. "Everything will be okay you know." He says after a minute of silence. "Huh?" I look up at him. "How could you possibly know that Cameron?" I ask him. He shrugged and shifted so Lilly was cradled in left arm. "I don't know.. But I know God won't take her away from you. She's way to special to you, and God never puts anything in your life that you can't handle." I laugh dryly and rub my face my hands. "Cameron, I've prayed for Avalanna since the minute the head of the orphanage told me her issues. I've prayed after her first hospital visit with me and you know where they got me? News that told me that my daughter didn't have autism! Great right? No. My daughter might not have autism but she has cancer. A rare cancer that has no cure. Do you understand that Cameron? My daughter is dying." I say through gritted teeth. "What type of God takes away children? Huh? Can you tell me that? Why does this God allow innocent people to suffer? Why does he allow children to die? Why does he allow cancer and sickness and pain and violence? Where is your God at Cameron?!" The tears were running down my face and blurring my vision. "Justin- I know your hurt and everything right now man, but trust me, God will-" I cut him off. "God will what? Huh? There is no God Cameron! God is fake! He's a myth!" I shout and stand up to my feet even though I didn't mean too. Cameron looked at me with confused eyes as he continues to sit in his seat, his eyebrows pulled together. "God has a plan." He whispered. I shake my head.

"God is dead!"

I shout and turn around to punch a wall behind me. Just out of the pure anger and sadness that was running through me though. I hear a small gasp and whimper behind me and spin around to see Lilly standing there, tears in her small eyes.

"Lilly-" Cameron shoots up and goes to walk over to her as I stared at her in complete shock. "Lilly I didn't-" I'm cut off by her. "G-God isn't real?" She asks Cameron as he wraps her in the blanket he had brought for when she gets tired. "Yeah of course he is Lilly, you know I would never lie to you." He whispers. "Then how come Justy says he's dead? Y-you said God doesn't die ever." She cried and looked down.

"Lilly, sweetheart I didn't- I never meant to-" I go to reach for her but she pulled away. "N-no! You k-killed God!" She then got up and ran down the hall. Cameron glares at me. "We were better off on the streets by ourselves." He says before running after her. At that point I felt like nothing could get any worse. "Why do I mess everything up?!" I grab at my hair frustratingly and groan. "Mr. Bieber?" I snap my head to the doctor that just walked into the living room. He looks around at the waiting room at the damage I caused once again. "My daughter?" I rush up to him, ignoring the pain in my knuckles from all the punching. His eyes meet mine and he shook his head ever so slowly. "Your daughter, she's gonna make it," I sigh in relief. "For now." He finishes. A frown overcomes the small smile that was barely making its way to my face. "What do you mean, 'for now?'" I ask him, crossing my arms across my chest. He clears his throat and fixes his glasses. "Yes sir, some of the tests we've run have came out pretty well and the others have came up with small problems that can be easily treatable at this stage. We may need to keep her for a couple more night depending on if we have found anything else wrong with the tests, we need to run more tests, stuff like that. We also need to watch over her brain activity which is the most critical part right now. The tissue in her brain is going soft and is working on trying to get infected by the bad disease, we've already put her on medication for that but overall it's a working progress." He nods at his own words. I just stare at him, biting the nail to my thumb. "W-when can we see her?" I ask. He looks around the lobby and raises his eyebrow up at me. "We?" He asks. "Yeah me and my-" I turn around only to see the empty waiting room, forgetting that Cameron and Lilly and left. I turn back around slowly. "Yeah, my um, my kids- they're just out right now but they'll be back.. Hopefully." I whisper the last part to myself. He just nodded and looked down at his clipboard. "Well according to her charts I think it's safe to say you can go and visit your daughter now. But she is asleep just to let you know." He pats my shoulder before walking off.

I don't even have to think twice, I run to my daughters room...

So sorry for the long wait I had a chapter ready to publish like four days after my last update but when I went to publish it, it was completely deleted and I tried everything to get it back but I couldn't and I just couldn't find the time to re-write the whole thing. ANYWAYS... Thanks for reading and let me know what you think?? Vote and comment!!!