Justin's P.O.V
"Juju!" I immediately look up and see Lilly running over to me. I choke on a sob and scoop her into my arms, hugging her small body as tight as I could to me.
"I'm so sorry Lilly, I didn't mean anything I said baby girl, God isn't dead and you belong with me, I'm never letting you go again, I promise." I kiss her head repeatedly as the tears kept rolling down my cheeks.
I pull away after a while of just holding her and see she had tears rolling down her cheeks as well.
"I'm so sorry baby," I whisper as I wipe them away with my thumb gently.
"W-why did you say that?!" She sobs as she looks into my eyes.
"I-I don't know.. I was just scared." I rest my forehead against hers gently and let my eyes close.
"Juju was just scared." I mumble.
"And then I was very scared when you and Cameron left me.. please don't ever leave me again."
My heart melts when she clings to me tighter and buried her face into the crook of my neck.
"I never leave you again juju, I promise."
"Good. If you make a promise you always have to keep it. No matter what." I remind her.
I then look up to see Cameron staring down at his shoes, his arms crossed over his chest and he kicked at the pebbles as the officer continued to ask him questions.
"Son, I'm trying to help you out. What were your parents' names?!" The officer seems aggravated.
I furrow my eye brows and make my way over there, Lilly still in my arms.
"Aye, what's going on?" I ask as I look at Cameron who just glared at the officer.
"He won't leave me alone after I already answered all of his questions!" Cameron started to get angry and I could tell.
The officer laughed sarcastically.
"Oh yeah, 'I don't recall' is an answer for every single question I've asked already." The officer glared at him as well.
"Son, just tell me when the last time you saw your parents was and how old were you?" The officer sighed.
Cameron shrugged and then smirked.
"Guess what? I don't recall."
************
"Why'd you leave?" I ask Cameron quietly as Lilly slept in my arms and we both watch the sleeping Avalanna carefully.
He shrugged.
"Man, please don't bring that bullsh*t over here and try it with me. I know you left for a reason but I want to know why. Was it what I said?" I look over at him.
He groaned and rubbed his red eyes with his hand.
"I'm tired." He muttered.
"Well if you don't wanna talk about it right now then you can-" he cuts me off.
"No. I'm tired of this. Of my life and how it always seems to get messed up in some kind of way." He stares at Avalanna as he continued to talk.
"My parents left me. They left me and Lilly there on the streets and they didn't even care," he takes a breath.
"Lilly was only one years old."
"She didn't know anything she didn't even really know our parents and honestly, I'm glad she didn't. I'm glad she didn't have to go through extra hurt because of that. But I knew my parents. They left me when I was around twelve years old." He looks down at the floor and takes in another shaky breath.
"How can people leave their kids? Huh? I look at Lilly and I can't ever see myself leaving her. For anything. And she's not even my child. She's my baby sister." He whispers.
"I'm tired of sleeping on the streets, on park benches, under the playground slides, in the public restrooms.. man, you name it. I'm tired of knowing I'm not safe and in taking my sister with me on the same path. I'm tired of the cops always following us around and trying to take us to child services. I'm tired of not having parents that care about me and my sister. I'm tired of sympathy. I'm tired of my sister asking me what's for dinner or lunch or breakfast and I can't answer her. I'm tired of going to sleep cold or wet. I'm tired of stealing just to survive. I'm tired of something finally going good and then something else coming to ruin it. I'm tired of not being able to see colors and I'm tired of people not believing in God or giving credit for him. He did so much for me and I know that. He kept me and my sister alive. He was always there. Always. And I taught Lilly about it every where we went, everything we saw, everyone who passed us up. He was there, with them, in everything around us. He's all I know. So when you said God was dead..." he trails off and I suddenly feel like a complete jerk once again.
I rub the back of my neck and stare down at Avalanna who was asleep in the hospital bed.
"I don't know man... I look at Avalanna and I see something in her eyes. I hear something in her laugh and I feel something when she calls me daddy. It's like... magic or something. And I know it's God. But then I see her in the bed like this, connected to breathing tubes and all these other machines and my heart just breaks. It feels like God is testing me, like he is mocking me. This thing, this battle, this cancer. It's incurable. It's rare. She's never going to get over this. And I want to hate him," my vision blurs with tears.
"He's taking my baby away from me.. how can I possible love him or praise him for that?" I choke on a sob.
He looks at me and patted my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.
His eyes lock on mine and he seemed so sure of what he was saying, with so much hope and belief.
"God would never put anything in your life that you can't handle."
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Thanks so much for reading!
Is it to late now to say sorry ?😅
Because I know it has been an EXTREMELY long time since my last update (December 28, 2016) and I am SOO sorry.
Thank you so much for those who are still reading this story and have been waiting patiently! I'm trying to get in as many updates as I can on this book this week just so I can repay y'all for sticking with me!
I know I may have lost a lot of readers but I'm hoping they come back or I gain some new ones.. but to the ones who stuck with me... this was dedicated to you guys!!!!
Please vote and comment!
And if y'all didn't get that 'I don't recall' reference I am so disappointed in you😔😔 jk (not really) so ask someone if you don't know though (or look it up to save yourself from getting roasted by the die-hard beliebers) or just message me and I'll answer it for you 😂😂!!
~Jazmine💟✨
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