Dan curled his knees to his chest, a tear trickling down the side of his cheek. He hurriedly wiped it away, despite no one being physically there, crying wasn't what he'd like to do.
His eyes grazed up, scanning the stars that dotted over the London skyline as the soft summer wind blew through his fringe. He was sitting on the chair on the roof of his building, watching the sky and letting the night pass. He couldn't sleep.
Thought raced through his mind overtime he tried to close his eyes to catch a moment of sleep. Scary and depressing thoughts plagued his nights, sad memories infected his soul.
Phil, the way he smiled.
Dan didn't want the memories, Dan didn't want them anymore. He was tired of remembering a time when he was happy, seemingly taunting him because now all of that happiness was snatched away. So quickly, it was stolen from him. He didn't have anytime to prepare himself, but the love and the joy were gone before he could blink.
Now he was left with nothing but a numb heart and insomnia. So he climbed the stairs to the roof, twice a week. And he sat under the London sky, waiting for the sun to come. Maybe the physical sun arose upon the day, but Dan's emotional sun was yet to peek from the darkening skies.
Tonight, well, tonight was different.
"Dan?" whispered a soft voice. Dan whipped around, shocked. Phil stood there, his eyes downcast.
"Phil..." Dan breathed, his heart racing. "Um, hey Phil." he struggled to mask his shock with a smile.
"Hey," Phil said. "What, uh, what are you doing here?"
"Couldn't sleep," Dan shrugged, looking away from Phil's precious blue eyes (for looking deep into them only shattered the remains of his heart).
"Me neither," Phil whispered.
Phil sat in the chair next to Dan and stared in the opposite direction, refusing to make eye contact with Dan. Three years ago, to this day, Phil had broken Dan. How could he stand looking at Dan again? He didn't deserve to look at Dan. He hurt Dan, he could never live with himself. He made a deadly mistake, he let the most amazing, beautiful, funny, sweet, intelligent man slip through his fingers.
The pain flickering in Dan's eyes, everyday leading up to this night just made Phil sob internally. But what could Phil say? "Oh, sorry I broke up with you but I think I made a mistake so if you'd just kindly take me back, yeah, that would be great."? No! That would make him seem even more like an asshole. He was lost and afraid. Lost without Dan as his boyfriend, afraid Dan would never accept him into his life again.
"Dan," Phil said, his voice soft. Dan put up his hand, silencing Phil. Phil immediately stopped his speech.
"I don't want to hear it Phil," Dan mumbled. "I don't want to hurt more."
That sentence, those words, the delivery of how he said it. So heartbroken, so tired of being played. That made Phil break. Tears poured down his cheeks, unable to stop himself before the floodgates opened. He gasped for breath, in between his sobs.
Dan was shocked. Phil was crying. He screwed up, seeing Phil crying was the worst thing Dan had ever saw.
"Dan," Phil gasped. "Dan, I'm sorry!" Dan rushed over to Phil's chair, sitting close to the male. He put an arm around him, his frame shaking as his body was racked with tears.
"Shhh..." Dan whisper, stroking his black hair. "Shhhh..."
"No! I don't deserve this! I hurt you!! I hurt you!" Phil whimpered. Dan pulled Phil into a tight embrace, rubbing small circles against his back.
"No, no, love." Dan whispered, swaying back and forth, comfortingly.
"But I did." Phil whispered. "I was scared. Scared of getting too close. If we had a brutal breakup, we'd never be friends again. But I couldn't have done what I did because...because..." Then, like a firecracker, it came bursting out of Phil, no warning. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!"
Dan's eyes widened, tears filling his brown eyes. He loosened his grip on Phil's body. He faced Phil.
Then, no words needed, Dan locked his lips against Phil's own. Phil gasped a little but began to kiss back, passion during within their kiss. Phil moved his arms so they linked around Dan's neck and Dan's hands were placed, firmly, against Phil's waist.
The lonely summer night that started out so dismal for Dan, so filled with sad memories, manifested into the night he got the love of his life back into his arms.
