unedited
When Dan was six, he fell off the side of his family's yacht. He wasn't a strong swimmer, and any ability he had was useless against the harsh waves that struck him.
His arms and legs thrashed wildly as he shouted for help, his cries of despair growing muffled through the sea water coming in and out of his mouth.
And it was then Dan experienced drowning for the first time. The sensation when everything is collapsing in on you, and you're powerless against it. Water filling your lungs so your breaths grow shorter and shallower and you're struggling to gasp even a little bit of air. And you feel so weak against everything, and you just keep sinking down.
Dan's sister heard the splash and Dan had been pulled out of the water, Shivering, he felt his mother wrap a towel around his body and Dan squeezed his eyes shut. So that was what it's like to drown, Dan had thought.
Drowning. Feeling useless as your lungs fill with water. As any breath becomes a hopeless attempt at life. A crushing weight on your chest as your struggle to stay awake.
Dan wasn't six, he wasn't in the water. In fact, he was dry on land.
And yet, he was drowning again.
Everything felt muddled to him, a vague sense of reality. He didn't know how long he'd been in the hospital, he stopped keeping count after day 231, it seemed pointless. People came in and out, some days he recognized the voice to be his mother or father or sister. Usually it was just one of the many nurses coming to take his temperature or his pulse.
It was like being held underwater for too long, you start to lose your senses, little by little, as the fatigue and lack of air get to you.
When Dan was first admitted to the hospital, he looked forward to every day. Every day passing meant a day closer to getting to go home. He spent most of his teenage years in and out of the hospital, but he always got to go home.
But as days passed, Dan's hope slowly whittled away.
No longer did he get out of the hospital bed and put on normal clothes to keep a sense of normality in his life. He didn't do his hair any longer.
He was tired of hoping, the water in his lungs was filling and he started to drown. H
He woke up in his hospital bed and that was where he stayed, getting up to "exercise" when his nurses thought he should. Mindlessly scrolling through his phone.
It wasn't living, he was alive but he wasn't living; he was drowning.
"Dan, this is Phil Lester," Dan looked up from his phone to see a pale boy in a fresh hospital gown. "He's only gonna be here for a short time, but he'll be staying in your room."
"But I thought my room was privat--"
"It is, your mother agreed, though. She thought you could use a friend," the nurse said, coaxing Phil inside. The spare hospital bed which had remained empty for 231+ days was now occupied by the pale, blue-eyed boy.
Dan fiddled with his hands as the boy said nothing, he looked tired. Dan didn't blame him.
He was silent the rest of the night.
"Good morning!" A cheery voice rung out. Dan blinked a few times, it couldn't be a nurse, he never heard this voice before. Everything felt fuzzy, as it always did in the mornings. Another symptom of drowning, Dan always liked to think.
