dilhowlter29 requested this from me so here it is:
Phil came home. "Dan?" He called. He expected Dan to give some sort of sign that he knew Phil was home. But nothing came. No sound from the other male in the flat could be heard. Phil immediately began to worry. Where was Dan?
"Dan?" Phil called again as he started to climb the stairs to Dan's room. "Dan? This isn't a funny joke."
He stopped in his tracks when he heard something. Something heartbreaking. Sobbing.
Dan is crying, Phil thought, worriedly. Concern and fear filled Phil's body. Dan was crying, and it didn't sound like it was tears over a movie, book, show or anything like that. Like Dan was in pain, like he was hurt. Maybe emotionally.
"Dann," Phil breathed, walking into Dan's room. The boy was curled on his bed, his laptop shoved near the end of it. His legs were tucked to his chest and his shoulders were shaking as sobs racked his entire frame.
"P-phil?" dan whimpered. He struggled to sit up and pass it as thought nothing serious was wrong. His cheeks were streaked and stained with tears, glistening in the dim lights. "S-sorry, I didn't...didn't hear you come in."
"Bear, why are you crying?" Phil asked, taking Dan's hands into his own.
"Just something stupid, I'm okay." Dan whispered, his voice soft and hurt. Phil knew Dan better than the white lies he was telling Phil.
"Baby..." Phil said. He ran a thumb across Dan's damp cheeks. "You can tell me."
Dan's lower lip quivered as he willed his body and mind not to break down again.
"Do you promise you won't judge me?" Dan whispered, so quiet that Phil almost didn't hear. "That, when you hear it, you won't leave me."
"I love you Dan," Phil said, squeezing Dan's hand. "Nothing will change that."
"Do you promise?" Dan insisted, removing his hands from Phil's grasp.
"Yes," Phil said, hoping it was a promise he could uphold. I mean, Dan wasn't a murderer...was he? Thoughts raced through Phil's head. What was this secret? What could be so bad?
Dan took a deep breath. Was he ready? Nobody but his parents knew. Nobody could know. It was a secret he didn't want the world knowing. Was he ready to let Phil in?
Yes.
"I..." Dan bit his lip, looking down at his legs. He couldn't look Phil in the eye as he said it. "I, um, I'm transgender."
Phil's blue eyes widened. "You want to be a girl?" Phil squeaked, mentally kicking himself for sounding so shocked. The shock could be mistaken for narrow mindedness.
"No, no." Dan said, still refusing to make eye contact with Phil. he could feel Phil's eyes burning into him. Did he disapprove? Did he make the right decision? Oh god, he's gonna leave me. Worst case scenarios were all Dan could think, making Dan feel even worse than he did. "I used to be, uh, Danielle."
"Oh," Phil said.
"Oh?" Dan repeated. "That's all?"
"Well, it's not that big of a deal. I don't mind. I fell in love with your personality, not any outside information."
Dan breathed a sigh of relief. He collapsed into Phil's arms, wrapped his arm's around Phil's torso. Phil chucked, stroking Dan's tawny hair and then placing a kiss on the top of his head.
"I love you," Dan said. "I'm glad I can finally let you in."
"Kitten," Phil muttered. "Why were you crying beforehand?"
Dan grimaced, he had hoped Phil forgot that. He balled his hands into fists and let go of Phil.
Dan pulled his laptop back onto his lap and showed Phil the Facebook comment.
Dan Howell is a fake, he's nothing but a girl. this is not a taunt dan howell is a dirty trans. dan? more like danielle
Phil knitted his eyebrows together in worry. "Who said this" He said, anger and sadness in his voice.
"A old classmate from middle school." Dan muttered, playing with his hands as tears threaten to spill from his eyes. "I reported the comment already but...but...I just wanted to live a normal life where no one knew that I wasn't biologically a girl. I wanted to be comfortable. I wanted to forget all the years I had to pretend to be something I wasn't."
Phil's heart broke upon seeing his boyfriend in so much pain, recalling his past. He wished he could help Dan more. He wished he could yell at the man who typed such a rude thing.
"And then this guy had to come and remind me of all those times." Dan whispered, tears falling gracefully. "It hurt, Phil."
"I know," Phil murmured, grabbing Dan in a hug. "I know it did. But it's okay. Because now, you can be yourself. Some people may not approve, But who cares? Cut the poison out of your life Dan, be happy. The people who don't care about your past are the people to keep. The one's who do, those are the shallow people that have no place criticizing someone as brave and amazing as you Dan. Don't let them get to you. Because you are just being yourself. And yourself is beautiful. Yourself is the person I fell in love with."
Now, only happy tears were falling down Dan's cheeks. "I love you Phil, you truly are the most amazing person anyone could have. I'm so lucky."
The comment soon forgotten as Dan and Phil fell asleep, happy.
i cried a little while writing this oh my gosh
