format's gonna be a little different for this chapter.
Also, tell me if you guys want some fluff because i keep getting really angsty ideas...i'm willing to write more fluff
Loneliness
Phil can't help but feel the emptiness in, not only their flat, but in his soul. Which sounds like such an emo thing to say, but it was true
Ever since Dan had left for the military, Phil could literally feel his absence within himself. He missed Dan, he missed him with all his heart. Knowing Dan was somewhere, perhaps in pain and Phil couldn't be there for him. Phil couldn't tell him it was going to be okay.
Yet, somehow Phil found himself in need of that.
Fear
Dan was freaking scared half to death. He didn't know what was going to happen to him. All he knew was that he wanted Phil. He wanted to be able to collapse into his lover's arms and be told that he was going to be fine. He wanted to cry to someone, be able to let his guard down...just for a second.
But Phil was miles away: an eternity away.
Excitement
After three months, Dan was finally coming home! Phil counted the days; hours; minutes until Dan would walk through those doors and into his arms.
When Phil heard, through skype, that Dan was gonna be home soon, he lost it. He broke down, sobbing while smiling the biggest smile he'd ever had.
Just two more weeks, Phil reminded himself, and Dan would be his again. Phil could hardly contain his excitement.
Yearn
Dan tried. He tried so hard.
Why did it have to hurt so much?
He wanted so badly to be able to see Phil, just one last time.
Please, he begged, let me stay alive...just so I can see Phil. That's all I want....
That's all I want...
I only want him.
I only want Phil.
Pain
Pain. That was the only thing Phil could feel. Pain. A shattering, relentless, awful pain. Pain that went beyond the physical and emotional. A pain that dug deep into every corner of Phil's being.
Dan was gone.
Phil felt that awful, stinging sensation every night as he cried himself to sleep. Every night when he could no longer picture Dan ever lying next to him again. Every reminder, and there were constant reminders, brought him such overwhelming pain. To the point where everything sickened him. His Dan was gone. His Dan was gone and he wasn't coming back.
