The next day I was back to normal. "Normal" meaning that I was back to being the passive, shy, basket case.
"Good morning Tyler." Josh quietly entered the room and I quickly snapped my head towards his direction, slightly startled. After the state I was in yesterday, I didn't really get a good chance to look at him too closely. Everything that I saw the day before, his jaw line and his body structure, didn't even compare to how gorgeous his eyes were. They were such a gorgeous brown, something that reminded me of home. When my mom used to make brownies for my church group, or the mud that my brother and I used to throw at each other. They weren't a solid brown; no they had every shade of brown combined and caused me to want to sort of every shade and symbolize it, add some sort of meaning.
"Tyler? Tyler, are you alright?"
Crap.
"Hm, I'm...sorry, what did you say?"
"I, was just wondering how you were today. Are you sure you're okay? You were staring at me for a while there and-"
"No, I'm fine," I said a little too anxiously. "I mean, I'm...okay. I...just do that sometimes. Stare. At...nothing..."
I looked away towards the wall next to my bed and closed my eyes out of pure embarrassment. Of course I couldn't talk to this man. He intimidated me to a point where I actually forgot how to breathe. Yet here he was, still trying to talk to me and help me, because he doesn't know that he's actually doing the complete opposite.
"Well I see the medication has worn off, huh?" He chuckled and I heard the shuffle of papers.
Oh Tyler, you think he cares? No. He feels sorry for you. He pities you. You're so lame Tyler. Lame and awkward and insignificant.
Can you please leave? Leave my head, I'm begging.
You think it's that easy, Ty? To just ask? You really think I'll oblige to your pleads? This is why Josh will never like you back. You're too easy to manipulate. You're meaningless Ty. Accept it.
Stop. Please. What else do you want me to say?
Say you like Josh.
I don't.
Stop. Lying. Tyler.
I'm not-
YOU LIKE JOSH. BUT HE WILL NEVER LIKE YOU BACK. BECAUSE YOU ARE INSANE. LOVE ISN'T FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. YOU DESERVE ME.
"Tyler! Tyler are you listening to me? Are you okay? What happened?"
My slits fluttered open to see Josh kneeling beside me. The sorry excuse for blankets that were once neatly tucked into my bed were now intertwined with my legs and strewn about on the floor. My back and head started to ach a bit and my tongue also felt like someone took a small shard of glass and slit the tip of it almost off.
"Tyler, can you hear me?"
I nodded, sitting up on my arms.
"Do you remember anything?"
I nodded again silently.
"What?"
"R-red eyes. Black h-h-hands. Blur...Blurry." I whispered his name like I was a second grader saying a bad word for the first time.
Josh didn't say anything for a while. He sat there on his heels and stared at me with genuine something in his eyes. Concern? Fear? Sadness?
I don't really know. It was a look that I would probably get from any other person, but when Josh wore it on his face, it became distorted. Like it wasn't the whole truth; there was something more to the story, which I guess is true for everyone.
Then he reached up over my head, grabbed a pillow and gently placed it under my head (all the while I was holding my breath). Then he stood up, walked over to the door and left. I was almost in tears.
He just left.
Blurry was right. He didn't like me. No one did. I really was just a pointless skeleton that could easily be replaced-
The door opened.
Josh.
He walked toward me again and my heart floated back toward its rightful place.
He kneeled back down to me and whispered, "I turned off the speaker. No one can hear us now, but they can still see us okay? Now, tell me about Blurry."
I froze. Tell him? How in the hell was I supposed to do that when the only thing I knew about Blurryface was his name and how he made me feel? I shook my head slightly.
"Tyler, this is completely off record. I'm not going to tell anyone. I swear. I just...There's something in me that's telling me that I should ask. Tell me all that you feel comfortable with, even if it's just a few words."
There was that genuine something again. It wasn't his words that made me speak up, it was his eyes. They were talking to me. They were more powerful than anything in the world. The eyes convinced me to say,
"He's trying to kill me, Blurryface. That's all I know."
And with that, Josh's eyes turned misty, and he pulled me into an embrace so overwhelming, that when I made contact with his body, I immediately disimagrated.
Mr. Misty Eye didn't let go until I ran out of breath. That was the only time that suffocating felt great to me.
OKAY I FEEL LIKE THIS IS V GOOD BUT MAYBE NOT OH MY ITS ALMOST 900 WORDS YIKES STILL GO FOLLOW CastawayJoshler BECAUSE SHE'S GOD AND WISH HER LUCK WITH HER NEW TOWN AND NEW TATTOO (COMING SOON HOPEFULLY ♥)
BTW SORRY IF SOME PARTS WERE KIND OF CRINGY?? YIKES HOPEFULLY YOU LIKE IT EEK.
(902 words !!)
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døg/rabbit~~tysh/jøshler fic
Fanfiction..:.collab with @nightskytyler you should check her out her stories are hella rad.:.. COMPLETED: September 25, 2016; Sunday 12:13 am. [first completed story on wattpad and hella proud of it]