døg/rabbit~~tysh/jøshler fic

(DON'T) Leave Me Alone

CastawayJoshler wrote this chapter and it actually made my stomach turn and my heart ache LIKE I WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS AT LIKE 7 IN THE MORNING ITS TOO GOOD.

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It's been a few days since Josh and I discussed blurry. He left after that, but he's back. I can feel him slowly seeping into my vision. Everywhere I turn black clouds my vision, and when I looked in the mirror this morning I caught a glimpse of red eyes looking back at me.

I'm pacing my cell and muttering 'go away' under my breath as I pull at my hair. I shake my head from side to side as my muttering transforms into screams.

I feel the familiar constriction in my throat as I claw at the sensitive skin. I glance at my hands and they're covered in black. I stumble to my mirror and see the black staining my neck. My eyes are a glowing, taunting red color. I'm blurry; he's taken over.

I start screaming random incoherent words as I stumble around trying to shake blurry. It's like I'm not in control of my body, but I can still witness everything that happens. I turn to face the door just as two nurses come running in and try to sedate me.

I scream and kick my legs about until I grab the male nurse next to me and bite his hand causing him to drop his needle and scream. The other nurse watched as blood ran down the other nurses hand.

The sticky crimson liquid drops onto my shirt as I laugh like a maniac. The other nurse quickly side steps me and jumps on my back trying to hold my arms still enough to inject me, but she stops when Josh runs into the room.

He looks at me struggling and he's screaming at the nurse to get out. She doesn't try to object as she helps the other nurse out of the room. I tilt my head like they do in sinister movies and grin while walking towards him.

"Tyler, you're going to be okay. I know you can fight blurry, you're stronger than he will ever be," Josh says standing completely still. My mind's screaming for him to run and get away from me, but blurry isn't allowing me to actually speak.

I haven't even known Josh that long and I'm trying really hard not to let blurry hurt him. Mark was right Josh is an amazing person.

He doesn't budge as I slowly walk towards him with a wicked grin. In my mind I'm screaming, "No don't touch him. It's me you want, take me," but he only laughs and says, "I've already consumed you Tyler."

I feel like a ghost watching myself from above as my hand reaches out and grabs Josh's throat in a tight grip. His eyes widen and he gasps for air. I'm laughing and I can't stop.

"T-Tyler you can take him out. You are so much more than him Tyler. He's scared of you Tyler. You're so strong and you can do this. I believe in you Tyler; fight him. I won't let you be gone," Josh stutters out between gasps. His voice is thick and hoarse from my grip.

My grip only tightens and he quits breathing. His eyes are wide and alarmed. I'm crying and finally I regain control over my mouth again. I start screaming at blurry to stop.

"LEAVE ME ALONE. I REFUSE TO KNEEL TO YOU. I'M STRONGER THAN YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE. GO AWAY," I yell finally managing to let go of Josh and grab my own neck.

Josh stumbles onto his hands and knees as he rubs his neck and regains his breath. Tears blur my vision as I claw and the surface on my neck. I can't breathe as the weight of my actions sink in. I let blurry hurt innocent people again.

I start screaming, "IT'S ALL MY FAULT," over and over and back into a corner where I curl up and pull at my hair.

I jump in surprise as I feel a warm hand on mine and look up to lock eyes with Josh's. I see a new color I never realized was there; tiny fragments of green can be detected if you look closely.

"It's okay Tyler he's gone. You did it," Josh says pulling me closely.

"He'll be back," I say in a monotone voice showing no emotion.

"Then we'll defeat him again," Josh says with a reassuring smile and hugging me to his chest.

That's the first time I've fought blurry successfully without sedation. I couldn't have done it without Josh.

"I'm sorry," I say with a slight crack in my voice from holding back tears.

"Don't you dare become sorry, you didn't do anything; blurry did," he says sternly.

"Thank you for believing in me," I say in a small voice and he smiles a genuine smile.

"You underestimate yourself Tyler. You're so much more than you think. Would you like for me to stay a little while longer just in case?" He proposes and I slowly shake my head 'yes'

"I-uh- I wrote a new song..." I trail off and he looks at me expectantly, "and I'd like for you to hear it since you're the only person who is willing to talk to me since Mark is gone."

He watches me as I grab my ukulele and strum a few chords.

I sway as I close my eyes and let the beat over take me:

"Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before. Hurt myself again today

and the worst part is there's no one else to blame."

I open my eyes and see Josh smiling at me encouragingly so I let loose a little more.

"Be my friend. Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me. I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me."

I let a few stray tears make their way down my face as I continue along. This song is really close to me.

"Ouch, I have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found. Yeah, I think that I might break. Lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

Be my friend. Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me.

Be my friend. Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me," my rough voice comes to a stop a Josh claps and I open my eye with a small smile.

"I'm not a bad person Josh. I want to be good, I'm trying so hard," I start and he walks over to me and pulls me into a hug as I cry softly.

"You're not a bad person. Don't doubt yourself so much. You're the most amazing person I've met. You fought blurry all by yourself. You won. You didn't let him win, you saved me," he says honestly.

I'm glad this Josh guy got assigned to me. I didn't know I needed him this much until now.

AGAIN PLEASE GO TO 's SHE IS THE BEST PERSON EVER