She sat in her lonesome
Recounting all the adventuresome
The memories they had
The smiles they clad
The tears they shed
But those tears couldn't compare to the ones she had now, filling her with dread
This would be the time he would come in and comfort her
Hold her
Wipe the tears away and chase the demons out of her mind
Now he was forever blind
His warm embrace would never sooth her again
His calm voice will never whisper her stories of heroes and how they would protect the mundane
His big soft hands will never hold her own again
His rapturous smile will never make her happy again
It was all gone
Woebegone
She remembered all the yelling
The sound of belling but no happy ending
The sound of him breaking glass
The sound of her mother cursing
Lastly, she heard the sound of him crying
That day, she wanted to know
She wanted to know why he was crying and her mother was yelling
She wanted to know why her brother was gone
Why was he so withdrawn
No one will ever tell her
She remembered her brother would tell her everything
If she wanted to know, he would tell her
So she was upset that he didn't tell her that he was leaving
She was upset he didn't tell her he was dying
She felt it then
The tears slowly come rolling down her small round face
She remembered how he would wipe her tears away, saying that if she didn't stop she would turn into a raisin
She wanted to laugh and she tried, but more tears fell and she cried harder
She remembered something else
Then something else and then it seemed all their memories began playing in her head and flashing before her eyes and she wished it would stop
She didn't want to remember anymore
She wanted to forget
To forget it all and never cry over it again
But that was selfish and her brother hated selfishness
Yet, he did the most selfish thing ever
She remembered that too
She would always remember that
She so desperately wanted to forget the day her brother died
Even if that was selfish
_________________________________________
You'll learn to survive without me
Just as you learned to walk without my fingers guiding you
Don't make me regret swallowing my life
I had to be selfish to save myself
From my own self destruction
