Part Eight: Awkward.
"Guys!" Sam screams, running back into the apartment where Dean, John, and Lindsay are all playing cards.
"What?" Dean asks. "Wanna play cards with us?" Brandey smiles.
"No! Brendan's missing! We were on a date-I, um, I mean play date-and we heard a growl, he disappeared and now I can't find him! He could be dying!!!!"
"So you ran back all the way here to tell us?" Dean blankly asks him.
"Yeah..."
"Dumbass" Brandey insults.
"Who cares? It's not like Brendan's important" says John.
"Shut up Dad!!!" Sam yells. "He's kinda sorta my boyfriend!" "It's about time" Dean comments. "Damn!" Brandey yells. "Rats" Lindsay grumbles.
"I give it eleven minutes" John states.
"Shut up Dad!" Sam repeats. "We gotta go find him! He's the father of my child!" Lindsay exclaims. "Well I'm not coming with. I'll just stay here and masturb-I mean master the arts of...watching football" John tells him.
"Dad, you're coming with us" Dean snaps.
"No! Have fun without me, fuckers."
John stubbornly crosses his arms and glares into space, as he stands in the woods, hearing Lindsay, Sam, Brandey, and Dean, looking for Brendan. "Baby daddy?!?" Lindsay screams.
"Lindsay! Don't call him that!" Sam tells her.
"Guys?!" They hear Brendan yell out.
Lindsay gasps. "Come on!" Sam yells, before they all sprint over to where he is, sitting on the ground covered in bruises and scratches, his clothes ripped and teared.
"Are you alright?!" Sam asks, kneeling down next to him.
"What happened?!" Dean yells.
"Oh, quit whining. It's not like he's bleeding to death. Fuckin' pussy" John remarks.
"Brendan, what did this to you?" Lindsay asks.
They hear a faded growl, coming from the distance.
Brendan gasps. "It's coming!" He announces. "What is?" Asks Brandey.
They all look over in the direction they heard the noise is. They huddle close together, in preparation for what's coming.
A tiny chihuahua puppy approaches them.
They growl. "Ahhh! The horror!" Brendan yells.
"Brendan, this is what attacked you...?" Lindsay asks, unimpressed.
"Well, no. I just have a fear of chihuahuas..." He tells them.
"Then what did attack you-?" A giant wendigo pops up out of nowhere, roaring at them.
They all scream, and the dog growls at the wendigo. They bark, scaring it. They run away, the dog continuing to bark at it.
"Pussy!" Dean yells out to the monster.
"They saved us!" Brendan smiles. They walk over and pet the dog. "See Brendan? Chihuahuas aren't that bad" Sam tells him. "I'm gonna name you growler" Brendan smiles to the dog.
"You guys are a bunch of pussies" John tells them.
Growler growls at John.
"Uh...nice doggy..."
Growler barks, chasing after John. He screams, running away. "Growler no!" Brendan yells.
"No. Let them" Sam smiles, Dean grinning as well.
Growler runs back to them, panting happily.
"Good dog!" Brendan smiles, petting their head.
"Winchester dad?" Lindsay calls out.
"I'm bleeding to death!!" He sacredly calls back. "Wanna get some smoothie king?" Dean asks the rest of the group.
"Sure" they all answer. "Lead the way, growler!" Brendan smiles. They do so, the humans following them.
Leaving John alone in the woods.
"Wait! Sam?! Dean?! Can you guys at least bring me back a smoothie?! Hello! I'm still bleeding to death."
A tree falls down on top of him.
Back at the Winchester apartment, as everyone is enjoying their smoothies, John storms inside, covered in dried blood and purple bruises.
"What happened to you?" Dean asks him.
"I'll have you know, I-"
"I don't care." He interrupts.
An apartment complex employee, shoves John out of the way. "Dean Winchester?"
"Yeah?"
"You haven't paid rent for the last three months."
"Ohhhh. Yeah. I was hoping you guys wouldn't notice..."
"Dean!" Sam yells.
"Don't worry! I'll-I'll figure something out-"
They sit in the empty parking lot, awkwardly sipping their smoothies.
"Great. Now where are we going to stay?!" John yells. "You can stay at our place!" Brandey smiles.
"Okay-"
"Not you, Winchester dad. I was talking about Sam and Dean."
"YAASSSSS!" Brandey shouts.
"We're gonna be roommates!" Dean smiles to her, taking her hand and jumping up and down with them.
A mini van speeds up, the window rolling down.
"Brendan! Where have you been?!"
"Sorry mom. I was getting over my fear of chihuahuas."
"It's about time. Get in the car. I cannot be late for therapy."
"Bye guys." He kisses Sam's cheek, before getting in the back of the mini van, and everyone else watches it speed away.
"Wheee...!" Smiles his mom.
Once they get to the Weaver's property, John, holding his finger up, innocently asks "uh, may I stay with them, as well-?" "No" Dean and Sam interrupt together. Them, Lindsey, and Brandey walk into the house, slamming the door in John's face.
"Mom, can Sam and Dean stay with us? They got evicted" Lindsay explains to Gerald and Susan, who are sitting at the kitchen table and doing a mega jigsaw puzzle of Barack Obama.
"Why sure, honey!" Susan smiles.
"Sam can stay in my room" Lindsay smiles flirtatiously, grabbing onto his arm. He frowns, sneaking her an awkward glance.
"Hm. Sam, I think you should stay in Brandey's room. Ya know, so Dean and Brandey don't become...'active'."
"But Moooom, I'm horny!" Brandey complains, stomping her foot. Dean grins in satisfaction.
"Then flick your bean!" Susan screams to her.
So that night, Brandey does flick her bean. Right next to Sam, in her sleeping bag on the floor of her room. Sam lays in his sleeping bag, groaning into his pillow.
"Oh, Elvis!" Brandey cries out.
"Elvis?" Sam asks, after he looks up and cringes at her.
"DON'T JUDGE ME!" Brandey shouts to him, as she cums.
As Sam gags, his phone vibrates next to him.
He looks at it, seeing a text from Brendan. He grins.
Hey Sammy! Sorry. My Mom's therapy session took six hours.
Oh it's okay! I'm staying with Brandey. I had to watch her flick her bean.
What?
Never mind. But what's up?
My dick.
Sam freezes.
Oops. I meant my duck. They just woke up. His name's Quackles. Did I ever mention I have a pet duck?
No. What about Growler?
He bit my Mom's boob, but everything's okay now :D xD
Oh...! Well I'm glad everything's okay.
I wanna fuck pussy.
What?
Whoopsies. I meant I want a duck poster. Quack quack.
Ohhhh. I was gonna say ur gay af.
Yup. Especially 4 u ;D
Sam blushes, texting back HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE xD
In Lindsay's room, Dean has to suffer through her phone call with her new boyfriend from Poland.
"No you hang up...no you hang up. I SAID YOU HANG UP, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
Dean takes her phone out of her hand, throwing it out the window. "Owe!" They hear someone yell. "Who was that?" Lindsay asks suspiciously, the two of them standing up and running over to the window, opening it.
"Dad?!" Dean asks, seeing John laying on the grass and warming his hands against a campfire he had made for himself.
"Oh. Hello."
"What are you doing out here?!" Lindsay demands.
"Thanks to you hooligans, I am now homeless!"
"Good" Dean says.
"Can you let me in?"
"No!" They yell together. John huffs. "Fine. Here's your stupid phone back." He throws it to Lindsay.
"So can you let me in-?" Dean shuts the window.
Eventually, Dean has to suffer through another one of Lindsay's polish boyfriend phone conversations.
"What do you mean you're breaking up with me...?! Screw you! I can't believe I ever sent those nudes to you! Goodbye!"
Dean cringes, as she hangs up. "You sent nudes to him?!"
"Only my pussy."
Dean face palms.
Speaking of nudes, while Brandey's in the bathroom, Sam asks Brendan what's up again, only for him to respond my dick.
Don't you mean your duck?
No, I mean my dick. Because I am horny.
Sam instantly gets a woodie.
My dick is up too he admits.
Show me.
Hesitantly, Sam stands up and drops his pants, taking a snap of his ding dong.
At that moment, Brandey walks out, instantly witnessing the horrific scene.
They both scream at the top of their lungs, making Sam accidentally send the picture to Lindsay.
"What the fuck are you doin' sending pics of yo hotdog?!"
"Uhhh...I..." Sam starts, sweating. He pulls his pants up.
"Sexting Brendan, eh?"
"Uhhh...no...I was sending it to my...Doctor. For a...digital checkup."
"Some doctor, you have. If you're gonna send that to Brendan, at least photo shop it. Here. You can use the app I used to make it look like we were kissing."
"Excuse me?!"
Dean re enters Lindsay's room, sighing happily. "Just sent a dick pic" he smiles. "Whatever" Lindsay mutters, trying to fall asleep. Dean lays down next to her, closing his eyes. Lindsay's phone buzzes.
"If that's your polish ex tell him to suck a twat" Dean mutters.
Lindsay gasps, witnessing the dick pic.
Not reading Sam's name, she grins, closing her phone.
Now horny for Dean, she goes under his blanket, starting to suck his wiener.
"Oh Brandey" he moans, before noticing it's Lindsay. "AAAHH!" He screams, sitting up and pulling up his pants. "What the hell?!"
"I thought you wanted me to!"
"Why on earth would I want you to do that?!?"
"You sent me a dick pic!"
"I did not! I specifically sent a picture of my member to Katie Albertsson."
"Then who did?" She asks, checking the name.
"Oh snap...Sam did!"
After Sam and Brandey makes Sam's penis look like mega sausage, he sends it to Brendan. They high five, Brandey smiling "he's gonna bust a nut so hard!"
"Sam Winchester you pervert!!!" Lindsay screams, storming into the room along with Dean.
"Excuse me?!"
"You sent me a picture of your tiny sausage!" She flashes the picture in his face.
"That wasn't meant for you! That was meant for Brendan!"
Dean grins. "You sent your first dick pic?! I am so proud of you!"
He hugs him. Sam pushes him away. "Pervert!" Lindsay screams to Sam.
"When you thought I sent you the picture you started sucking my dick!" Dean yells to her.
"What?!"
Brandey growls, attacking her sister. "He's mine bitch!!!"
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Dean chants, as Sam gets a text back from Brendan.
I busted a nut three times to this.
Sam giggles, before realizing that he has lied to him.
Sighing, he walks downstairs, Gerald and Susan still doing their crossword puzzle.
"What's all that noise, dear?" Susan asks.
"Lindsay and Brandey are fighting over Dean."
"Don't blame 'em. Dean's a hot piece of-"
Sam stares at her. "Can I have your guys' advice?" Same asks.
"Of course, dear."
"I lied to my boyfriend about...my height...down there..."
"What?"
"Never mind."
Desperate for advice, Sam goes to funkyteenadvice.net.
I lied about my penis size to my boyfriend. What do I do?
-Sam, 15, IN.
He gets a response in under five minutes.
Hiya Sam! Jenny here. Have you and your boy toy penetrated each other yet? If not, when he sees your most likely small penis in person, you're gonna be screwed. And not the good kind.
Subscribe to our daily news letter! :D
Sam sighs, before hearing a giant crash upstairs. He flinches.
"We have a problem here...!" Dean awkwardly yells.
