Change of Hearts

Chapter 9

Bencab Museum, 5PM

Nasobrahan yata ako sa pagtitig sa isang painting dito sa second floor, hindi ko namalayan na wala na pala si Ly around the area. I guess she wants to explore the museum alone, pero di ako mapakali na hindi ko sya nakikita kaya I decided to look for her. I found her in front a painting sa third floor. From the way she's staring at it, I'm sure it's been a while na since she came to that piece. Only few people know about her passion in art.

I can't help but to watch her in silence as she stands at that place. There's a mixed sadness and peace in her eyes. It's like kung may chance s'ya pumasok doon sa canvass, gagawin n'ya. I suddenly found myself looking at her like how she's looking at the painting. Na para bang nothing else is existing in this room aside from her. 

I lightly slapped myself, wiggled my head to let go of the unnecessary thoughts in my head. Naglakad na ako towards her direction. I stood beside her and looked at the painting. It's an image of seven babies wrapped in cloth and covered with fine silk. Only their heads are visible. It's quite haunting to look at.

"Para lang tayong sila no, Kiefer?" narinig kong bulong n'ya. Tiningnan ko sya pero sa painting pa rin sya nakatingin.

"The babies?"

"Yeah..they're trapped. And so are we." sagot n'ya. She looked at me and she smiled sadly.

"Pakiramdam ko I'm looking at those little kids inside me. Those versions of me na tinatrap ko nalang inside because the whole world prematurely told me to grow up. Fast. No questions asked."

"Ly, you don't have to keep those little kids inside you. Just do what you want to do. Wag mo pahirapan ang sarili mo." sabi ko sa kanya.

"And then what, Kiefer? You know how much expectations they have on us. We both know how the community is watching us, even yong mga nasa outside. Eyes are everywhere, and so are judgments." sabi n'ya.  "No, I'm not saying I hate this life. I'm grateful, I acknowledge how blessed I am. Kaya lang minsan, alam mo 'yon, nakakalunod lang."

"I get it. I get it." sagot ko sa kan'ya. I know what she's talking about. Those struggles of athletes na only co-athletes feel. Some people may say they understand, pero sabi nga sa kasabihan, you only know how it feels like wearing the shoe if you're the one wearing it.

"It's like we're running in circles. Ewan, baka iba lang talaga yong epekto ng mga museums sa'kin," natatawa n'yang sabi. "Tara na."

I followed her downstairs, until makalabas na kami. Madilim na, and the cold is starting to creep inside. Nakita ko nalang 'yong sarili kong naka-akbay sa kan'ya. I felt her tension, but few seconds, narelax na rin sya. I heard her chuckle.

"Bakit may oras ka gumawa ng improvised neck pillow pero magdala ng jacket wala?" tanong nya. Natawa na lang din ako sa sinabi nya.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Eto, human heat nalang muna."

Maya-maya lang, may dumating na na cab. She immediately went inside, parang tumatakas sa akbay ko. Napangiti nalang ako sa kanya.

"Manong naman, bat dumating ka agad." biro ko kay manong driver. Tumingin si manong sa'kin and kay Ly, tapos natawa sya.

"Sorry sir. Kailangan lang kumita."

"Hay nako manong, wag nyo nalang po yan pansinin." sabi ni Ly kay kuya. Tatawa-tawa akong tumingin sa bintana, watching the lights of the city fighting the darkness. Maya-maya nilingon ko si Ly, and I saw her drawing something on the foggy window on her side.

"What's that?"

"A baby.."

"Ba't mukhang daga?"

Nilingon nya ako, nakasimangot.

"Anong daga?"

"Joke lang, joke lang. Ay, ang ganda oh. Masterpiece. Walang wala mga national artists teh, oh. Gawa na rin tayo ng museum mo soon, pangalan L-Y-S-S-A-V. Laysab. Panis ang Bencab."

Tawa s'ya ng tawa. Wala na yong gloomy na babaeng nakita ko kanina sa third floor ng museum. But I can't help but to realize one thing.

Gloomy or laughing, she's really really beautiful.

——————

Eliazo, 10PM

"Well, that was fun Thirdy." sabi n'ya sa'kin nang makarating kami sa tapat ng dorm. I can't help but to smile while looking at the blue teddy bear na hawak nya. Napanalunan namin kanina sa arcade. She's awkwardly holding it, like she wants to let go and give it to me, or keep it.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry I temporarily forgot na kasama kita while I'm shooting hoops."

"No, no. That's okay. You slayed it, you know? Manghang mangha sayo yong mga bata." she smiled, recalling the scene this afternoon.

"How about you?"

"Me?"

"Di ka ba humanga sakin?" tanong ko. I saw her blushing but nawala rin agad dahil she laughed while pretending she's annoyed.

"Uh no? I meant I've been varsity all my life, it's a regular thing to see basketball players shooting like a mad man like that," she said, laughing.

I don't know why pero I felt..disappointed? Or hurt? Basta para may nagsnap sa loob ko.

What do you expect, Thirdy? Kailan ka ba naging special?

"Hey, are you okay?" tanong ni Bea sa'kin. I just nodded.

"I better leave na, gabi na rin. I'm sorry kung late na kita nahatid and for forcing myself sa personal na lakad mo." I saw her staring at me, confused.

"What's wrong?" tanong n'ya.

"Nothing," I sighed. "I'm just..tired. Sige na, pasok ka na." sabi ko sa kanya.

"Thirdy.."

"Go," I forced myself to smile at her. She reluctantly started walking inside.

I stood there until she was gone in my eyesight. What a way to end this almost perfect day. Naglakad na ako papasok sa kotse. I was about to turn the engine on when I heard my phone beep.

From: Bea

Thank you for forcing yourself sa personal kong lakad because I really enjoyed this day, Thirdy. And I don't know why I feel the need to say this but..I'm sorry.

Drive safely, okay?

PS.

I named our teddy bear 'ThirB'. If you think I'm witty, reply Yes. If you think I'm not, then aalisan kita ng rights sa kanya. I'm gonna be a single mom.

And just like that, I drove away smiling.

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A/N

This kind of weather really really makes me want to write sad, beautiful things. LOL

Anyway, hugot aside, I would like to thank you guys for all those comments and votes. It really warms my heart to see you na nageenjoy dito kahit na madalas may pagbabantang kasama. Hahaha! Napakacute nyo lang. 😂

Comments, suggestions, violent reactions? Tambay ako dito, kwentuhan tayo: http://twitter.com/JacketNgKiefly

Sipping coffee,

J.