Taboo: Bittersweet Revenge (Sequel)

Smoke and Mirrors

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My breath hitches with every eager step I take. I never thought I'd ever say it, but I've never been more glad to see that mansion in my life. I was so worked up and eagerly awaiting to see my baby that I still had my helmet in my hand.

Roughly scanning my eyes through the security cameras, I note that all the lights are off everywhere. The only light source in the entire mansion was coming from the kitchen. Limbing across the ballroom, I reach the kitchen slower than I had anticipated. With every step, my pace quickens. The thought of holding my son in my arms wasn't enough for me, I wanted to experience it.

Through the corner of my eyes, I see Christian. To my surprise, he's got a beer in one hand and the baby bottle in another. Watching him complete such mundane tasks was almost weird in a way. He feeds the bottle to Raeven, whose sitting quite comfortably in his rocker, his wide blue eyes dancing around his father's face.

His large veiny hand supports the back of the bottle as he takes a swing of his beer. Weary about his reaction, I limped my way into the large kitchen. I approached with apprehension written all over my face

But his tired blue eyes soon acknowledge my presence with a glance and I'm only left to debate his response. I had little to say, and even if i did want to say something, i simply couldn't find the words. All I wanted was to hold my son, and I think he saw that maternal need in my eyes. I walk around the large counter, glancing over at Christian just to make sure he hasn't sent me mixed signals.

The moment my eyes look down at Raeven I wanted to cry. Knowing he had to rely on a drunk mother worried me deeply. Picking him up from his seat, I held him in a passionate embrace, and closed my eyes to savor this precious moment. I have never been away from him for that long, but absence only makes the heart grow fonder.

He tiny little head lays across my chest and I push him closer to shelter him from the cold as he makes subtle baby noises. "So sorry baby....", I whispered into his ear, letting him know I was here provide the world of comfort to him through my shaky voice.

Distracting me from the moment was Christian, only a couple feet away from me. God only knows what's going through his mind at the moment. I had to get one thing off my chest before let him say his peace.

"Before I give you the floor to say or do whatever you want, just please know I'm not angry at you, despite what you saw in there. That wasn't me talking tonight....I...", I urge him through a shaky voice that was ready to break at any given moment.

He acknowledges my plea with a small nod. "I know", was his reply. "The moment you walked in I knew you'd already flipped the switch. Little booze on top was the perfect way to tip you over".

"Where's Ivanna?", I asked.

"She's uh..., she's with Austin. He's got an interpreter, she's fine", he answers. But in his voice, there was something much more telling. He stands up and walks outside towards the open patio, and ushers me to follow him.

Reluctantly, I followed him out with Raeven clutching on to me. His tiny head rest under neck as I pull his fluffy blanket over him to shelter him from the wind. It was a blistering cold night, as it usually is in Connecticut. Yet for once, it offered a sense of serenity. With the stars out and sounds of owls in the background, it was a beautiful night.

Gently, I drop myself next to him, somewhat speculative of his behavior. We know each other so well, more than we know ourselves. When it's not a screaming match between us, that's when we know it's escalated into something that yelling at each other can't fix.

"How did we ever let it get to this?", he pleaded, reminding me of the challenging past month we've had.

"Ego. Pride", I admitted. Even though those factors came from both ends of the spectrum.