CLEXA: Commander Gay & The Space Bisexual™

To Feel or Not to Feel

RAVEN'S POV:

"I really like Lexa."

"Really Raven?

"Come on Abby, she hasn't done anything yet that you could possibly hate her for and she's nice. Plus she's taken great care of Clarke since we weren't around."

"okay, but who's fault is that? Hers."

"Clarke definitely misses everyone, surely you don't expect that she didn't want to see us."

Abby looked down and nodded simultaneously. Tears formed in her eyes and her voice became raspy.

"I just... I just miss my daughter."

I threw an arm around Abby who concealed her crying face in my jacket. I looked around and everyone seemed occupied as we sat around a fire the nightbloods made. I turned and saw Lexa walk over to me.

"Do you mind coming with me for a second?"

Abby didn't bother looking up she just quietly let go of me and I got up to go with Lexa. I looked back and saw Clarke staring at us.

"hey why aren't you hanging out with Clarke?"

"I'm giving her space."

We were walking deeper into the forest when I saw 2 tents set up but only 1 figure camped by the fire.

"Indra, there's someone here to see your second." Lexa looked at me when she said it giving me a sweet smile.

I heard a tent flap open and I turned to look.

"Raven?" It was a raspy voice I knew all too well.

"Octavia!" We ran at each other meeting half way and her body crashed into mine.

I hadn't seen her since my first night in Polis. She released her grip to give me a kiss. We stood there for a while until I realized Indra and Lexa were probably standing by awkwardly.

"Sorry"

I turned around to Lexa

"thank you Lexa, this is the best day I've had in forever." She nodded at me then at Indra and I looked back at my gorgeous girlfriend who had small dark bags under her eyes. She wasn't getting much sleep, and she definitely wouldn't tonight either.

---------------------------------------------

LEXA'S POV:

Raven decided to stay with Octavia for the night and I made my way back to the group. I stopped for a second to think about the events of the day when I heard some leaves rustle. I pulled my blade out and nearly took Clarke's head off.

"Hi."

She didn't seem to care I had a sword to her throat. When I put it back she got close to me. Clarke grabbed my waist and pinned me to the tree, she nudged open my legs so she could press her thigh against the inside of mine. Her lips were burning through me and I felt her hands slip to my back and she pulled my hips in close.

"CLARKE?"

Her lips ripped away from me when she turned to see Abby standing 10 feet away. This is not how I had hoped Clarke would have to tell her mother about us. Her body was still half pressed against mine until Abby got closer. She backed up far from me and I felt my heart sink for her.

"Mom, I-"

"what- what is this Clarke? When did- How did- this happen? I don't even know how to react to this."

"Well you could say 'alright that's okay I still love you. You are my daughter after all' that's a good start"

I could feel the tension between them rise and so did their voices. It wasn't yet dark, the sun was setting fast nearly all the light was gone. But the last bit that shone was on Clarke's eyes. Her pensive face and cute pout made me dizzy especially when her brows squeezed together it was the angry look of Clarke I adored so much. And with all of the facial features she expressed her eyes tied it all together bringing in the intensity and the heat.

"I do love you Clarke and you are my daughter but this? I didn't expect this. You've liked boys all your life, never once did I see you look at a girl."

"I don't expect you to understand mom, I'm still trying to figure this out myself. But I love Lexa okay so you don't get to put me down for who I love."

"Clarke I'm having a hard time processing this I just I know I raised you but did I not see the signs? Were there signs for me to pick up on? Did you give me hints and I never noticed? What is it Clarke because I know you weren't like this all your life."

Clarke looked down thoughtfully. I wanted to so badly to go comfort her.

"And you. You are the reason she's been staying away from her friends and family. You are the one keeping her here."

I felt sick to my stomach when Clarke looked up at me with tears in her eyes when she heard those words from her mother. I looked at Abby while maintaining a straight face.

"I am, because I love Clarke. There is no one on this earth that deserves to be loved with as much passion and kindness as Clarke does. If I be lucky enough to stand in her presence I feel my life has been bettered. Clarke is the most complex and intricate person I've ever met and the only reason I have to smile everyday. She's special and if you can't see that then maybe you aren't the mother she made you out to seem."

Abby looked stunned. For once she was at a loss for words. She turned to Clarke who was silently crying and her eyes watered for the child she almost neglected.

I looked around and found Jasper, Anya, Indra, Raven and Octavia all standing watching the entire scene. I made direct eye contact with Raven who looked at me with a proud smile. I scanned everyone else's face and there was only one that stood by shocked. Jasper. But it made me wonder why Octavia wasn't confused because I never told her about us. She just looked at me with her usual face, a slight smile and pursed lips.

--------------------------------------------------------

CLARKE'S POV:

My mother held me in her arms but Lexa's words echoed in my ears.

I am so madly in love with her.

We all walked over to the nightbloods who circled the fire and had plates of food for everyone. Monty had stayed behind to help them so he didn't hear the huge debacle over my sexuality. We all sat in silence to eat our food. My mother sat with the boys and Anya with Indra while Raven and Octavia sat together. It was just Lexa and I to our own log.

"So I guess you're off the market than Commander?"

We all laughed. Leave it up to Jasper to break the ice. I was glad though because I was kind of getting jealous, he was hitting on my girl half the day and I had to tell Lexa about winking and what it meant. I felt better to have this out even though my mom didn't like it very much she still loves me. The conversations started all around the fire and I leaned into Lexa.

"Hey, so what were you and Raven talking about today? I noticed you spent all day with her and you looked really happy. I was just curious, what was it?"

"You, Clarke"

Her hand ran over my leg and on top of my hand. She looked at me and the flicker of the flares lit up her eyes. I felt my heart skip a beat.