The Broken Ones

Returning Past

I had stayed home and locked myself in the room. I just wanted all of this to be a dream. A very bad dream. Alexander is moving on and is getting married. I mean, I am happy for him, but it hurts. It hurts because he was setting out to get married. Here I was just starting to date after the divorce, but here he was getting married. I guess it happens though. I didn't want this to be real, but it is. John has called several times, but I ignored them because I didn't want him to deal with my problems and I needed my space. I needed space. 

Why did he come back into my life? And like this? I was already hurt enough that he stopped loving me and demanded for a divorce, but this was just the breaking point. He just had to come in and show that was going to get married with a woman who looked like she had stick up her ass because of her bad attitude. They fit though. They are both mean and I bet that the woman has also broken someone's heart. I just wanted this all to be a dream. I know that Alexander will want to talk, but I am not ready for that. I don't want to talk to him. I had thought that this would never happen. I never thought that I would have to deal with Alexander after the divorce. But here he was. It just hurt a lot. I hated it. And I hated that he still managed to feel like shit. My life just sucked. His life just kept getting better while mines just kept getting worse. I hated it. Why did this have to happen to me? I did nothing to him. He did so much to me. He was just hurting me more and more. 

I had managed to cry myself to sleep which I was thankful of. I wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore. 

"Willa!" I hear. I turn around and smile, seeing Alexander there with a bright smile on his face. I then ran towards him and jumped on him, his arms instantly wrapping themselves around me, my legs wrapped around his waist. "I missed you." I say. He pulls back and looks at me. Alexander has been gone for a week because he had to go on a business trip and it was the worst week of my life. I missed him so much. "I missed you too. I couldn't sleep without you." He says. I also couldn't fall asleep without his arms around me. "God I love you." He says. I giggle and then I pull his face towards me, his lips meeting me. I smiled through the kiss, just loving his taste and just loving his lips. I missed this s much. I then pulled away and looked at him. "I love you." I say. He then gives me a peck before he sets me down. "Come. How about we catch up." He says as he leads me up stairs. I just giggle. I will never get tired of this man. And on that day, we made love several times in several ways. God, I just loved him. 

I woke up, tears streaming in my eyes. Sad memories. That is all they were. Sad memories. 

I got ready for work, texting John, telling him that I was okay and that I will call him after work. Jessica left me alone because she knew I needed my space. I had told her about Alexander and she was mad. I was glad she understood me. When I arrived at work, Sarah was there. I gave her a sad smile. "Are you okay, Willa?" I look at her and shake my head. "I am just feeling a bit down. Don't worry though." I say. She frowns. "Well, I do hope you get better." She says. I nod my head. I then start to work, trying to keep my head away from Alexander. It was hard though. It was really hard. I really didn't want to be here right now, but I knew that working would be best for me to at least try to keep me busy. 

I sigh as I fix the flowers up once again, watering them with a spray bottle. I looked down at my watch, seeing it was time for my break. I put the spray bottle down and grab my purse. "I am heading out for my break." I announce to Sarah who just said 'okay.' I head out and enter my car, driving to a near by diner. Once I got there, I went and sat down, a waiter getting my order. I then waited. Jessica was at work, so I can't text her. So, I decided to text John just to let him know I am okay. 

Willow: Hey John, I am sorry about yesterday. I just wanted to let you know that I am okay and that I am fine.

I put my phone down, waiting for him to reply back. I then hear someone clear their throat. I look up and see Alexander. My eyes widen. He was right here. He was right here right in front of me. I look at him and see that he was wearing these fancy clothes, but it still looked casual. "Willa." He says, his voice soft just like it used to be. I missed him saying my name. But, I also hated it. "Alexander." I say. He looks at me. "Can I sit?" I look at him, but did not answer. He sat down anyways. I look down, wanting to just disappear. Why was he here? Out of all the places, he just had to be here. My heart was aching and I wanted to cry. "Willa, talk to me." I shake my head. "There is nothing to talk about. You moved on, forgot about me, fell in love, and now you are getting married. Congrats." I say, my voice filled with hurt. I hated him. I hated him, but still loved him. I hated myself for even caring about him. "Willa, I'm sorry. I am so sorry." I shake my head. My phone then dings. I grab it and see it's from John. 

John: Don't be sorry. I do hope you are okay. Don't worry, I am here. I care a lot about you and I hate seeing you being sad. Please, call me. 

I smile a bit. He cared. I then hear Alexander again clear his throat. I look up and then I put down my phone. "Was that your boyfriend?" I shrug. He shouldn't care. "Alexander, what are you doing here?" I ask him. He sighs. "I just wanted to talk, Willa. I am sorry about this. I am sorry. I just..." I glare at him. "Alexander, I don't care. I don't. We got a divorce. You don't love me anymore. You moved on and I get that you had big plans on forgetting about me. You moved on and so have I. I don't care, Alexander. We don't need to talk about this." I say. Alexander looks at me, but he slumps down when the waiter comes with my food. Once the waiter leaves, Alexander straightens up. "Willa, please don't do this. Please, just talk to me." I shake my head. I then start to eat my food, wanting him to leave. I really wanted him to leave. "Alexander, just leave. It doesn't matter. Go away and leave me alone." I say. He looks at me and then stands up. "This isn't over, Willa." He says before he walks away. I watch as he leaves. I hated this. I hated him. 

My thoughts were on him. During my break, it was hard to eat. After my break, I headed back to work, but it was hard working when my mind was only on Alexander. By the time it was time for me to leave, It was hard to not think about him. I called John just as I promised, telling about what happened. He told me that if I needed him and to have some support, he will be here. He also said that he needed to beat up Alexander, the he will also be here. I had laughed at that and took note of it. Jessica and I then talked, also telling her about what happened today. "That asswhole! Who the hell does he think he is? I swear, if I ever see him, I will kick him where the sun don't shine." She says she says as she tries to control. It was nice having her care, but she cared a bit too much. "It's fine, Jessica. I will be fine. I will handle him. I will try to settle it, but he will be getting married soon. We won't see each other after the wedding. I just need to stay away from him until the wedding since we are delivering the flowers for his wedding." He says. She groans, rolling her eyes. "Willa, this guy broke your heart! We should be doing something because he is now getting married with some bitch and you just want to eave it alone? Come one, Willa." She says. I look at her and give her a look. "Jessica, this is my war. This is between me and him. I will handle him. And if something does happen, I will call you and John." She nods her head. 

Jessica and I talked a bit more. Jessica told me that if I was going to handle this and stay away from him, that I would have to try and keep the wedding business with just Sarah. I know that Sarah will question it, but I just don't want to be near Alexander. Not now and not ever. He is getting married. I know that after the wedding, he will leave with his new wife and start a new life. I just hate him. I just hate that he was moving on. I just have to keep myself away from him. Plus, I can't let him know about the baby or about anything else. I don't need him to dig into my life. I am just starting a new life, a new leaf with John. I need to do something about him though. I do need to at least talk to him. But when and how? Why was my life so complicated? Jessica had told me that he can't really know about what happened after the divorce and with the baby. He can't know. I don't even know how he will react if he ever did find out. Life just keeps getting better and better.