The Broken Ones

Thorns on Flowers

Song: US by James Bay ft. Alicia Keys

Alexander: 

Once those words came out of me, I regretted it. Why did I say that? Especially to her? I hope she knows I didn't mean it. Why am I feeling this way? Why do I feel so guilty? Seeing her dancing with that guy made me so furious, all I wanted to do was go up to him and punch him until he knew...until he knew what? I didn't know. But at this moment, all I wanted to do was go after Will and tell her that I didn't mean it. It's too late now. That face she made though. That face of hurt made me feel...bad. And then she slapped me, I didn't know how to react. Of course she deserved to slap me. I called her a whore. My anger got the best of me and this is what happened. I made her run away from me. Again. I had no right to call her that though. I knew she was probably out with Jessica who I did see dancing with another guy. I guess it was the fact that Willa was dancing with some guy that wasn't me that I just didn't like. I didn't like the way the guy was touching her and looking at her or how Willa was looking at him and laughing with him. It didn't seem right to me. But the words I told her wasn't right. I shouldn't have said it to her at all. 

I left the club after what happened, driving to my house, just wanting to figure out what to do. I sat there in my driveway, debating whether or not to go in or not. The memory of Willa kept repeating in my head. And I hated it. I then became so furious, I started to hit my steering wheel, angry at myself for what I said. "I hate you." Those words.  They kept ringing in my ears. Did she mean it? Did she really mean those words? Why the hell was I so hurt about this? She was the one that made this all happen anyway. She made this all happen, so why was I getting so hurt by her words. Seeing her though, I don't know, my chest started to tightened and that dress, damn that dress, I did want to see more of her. She was driving me crazy dancing like that and dressed up like that. During our marriage, she didn't enjoy dressing up a lot, but she still did just to look modest. Being married into high society, you have to dress the part. Today though, she just looked...beautiful. I shouldn't be feeling this way. Not after everything that has happened. Plus, I am getting married to Elizabeth. I shouldn't be feeling this way towards Willa. We aren't together. Yet, I was still angry by the fact that she was dancing with another man. What is wrong with me? 

I got out of the car and started to walk towards the house, but before I could open the door, Elizabeth opens the door with an angry face. Her face is going to get wrinkles if she keeps making that face, I thought. "Where have you been? I have been worried sick about you!" Memories of that day flashed through my mind. Willa had said words similar to those.  "I was out." I say before walking past her to get into the house. I took my jacket off, throwing on the sofa once walking into the living room. I heard Elizabeth close the door, her heels clicking against the floor as she followed behind me. What woman still wears heels in her own house? I can remember that Willa would just go barefoot because she never did like heels. "Well don't you think you should be telling me you're going out so I wouldn't have to worry?" She says, her words a bit hard. I shook my head, just wanting to sleep. I just wanted to sleep off what happened in the club rather than argue with Elizabeth. She always tries to find a reason to argue with me. Willa and I never argued a lot. And when we did, we would make up about it in our own way. With Elizabeth, I would end up on the couch or the guest room. "Elizabeth, you don't have to worry about me. I am a grown ass man. I am sure I can look after myself." Her face looked so angry so I just sat down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. "Well sorry that I am worried about my future husband!" I rolled my eyes. Worries. She rarely worries about me. No, she just wants to be seen around me and make it seem like this picture perfect couple. She argues way too much with me though to make it picture perfect. "Elizabeth. I am tired. Can you please save all of this bullshit for some other day? I had a long night and I have work early in the morning." I tell her. "What? No, you can't go into work tomorrow. We had plans for the wedding." I did let out a groan, not carrying it anymore. "Fine, Elizabeth. I will set work aside for you." I say before getting up and walking up the stairs to our bedroom.