The Broken Ones

Falling and Catching

Song: Stargazing by Kygo ft. Justin Jesso

We walked to the club, Jessica talking the whole way about how excited she was to be out and going to a club. I, on the other hand, was freaking out a bit but not a lot. On our walk though, we did get a lot of stares from a lot of people. I didn't like that every guy was looking at us. I was a bit scared by the act that we were in these clothes, walking down a bad neighborhood. But we did eventually make it to the club which a bit lit up on the outside. We were able to feel the bass of the music through the ground and the muffling sound of the sound from the outside too. There was a line waiting at the entrance of the club, two bouncers checking the IDs and stuff. We did hear some whistles, not a lot, from some of the men waiting in the line. We walked to the back of the line, Jessica smiling, probably by the fact that we were here and we were about to go in to have fun for once. "I am just so excited!" She bellows out with glee. I smiled, glad for her but I was also still nervous. We had moved slowly in the line, the music pumping just a bit louder as we got closer to the entrance, a few people being denied entrance. A few people did stumble out of the club as well, some just hanging around the front of the club, who knows why.

Finally arriving in front of bouncers, they took a quick look at us before nodding their heads, letting us in. Jessica looked back at me when we went in, giving me that smile that I really didn't want to see. She was giving that smile that told me that I still had it. I still was able to use my beauty. I don't know though. After what Alexander said to me, it has haunted me for the longest of times. Entering the club though, I could really feel the bass of the music pumping through my whole body and the loud music making it difficult to hear anything going on. There were a lot of people in the club. People were dancing, some were standing, just looking around, looking for someone probably to be with at the end of the night. Some were also sitting, drinking and talking. Jessica led us to the bar, men already looking at us with side glances. I didn't like it at all but I knew Jessica enjoyed seeing that I was still getting other guy's attention. The bartender glances at us, a smile forming on his face. "What can I get for the both of you beautiful girls?" He asks. Jessica was quick to answer. "I would love the...sex on the beach. Two of them. Please." She tells him, a flirty smile on. I rolled my eyes. She can really use her talents when she wants something. The bartender winked at her before turning to make the drinks. "You are such a flirt." I tell her loudly over the music. She grins. "I am not. I am just...talented." That made me let out a small laugh. "Talented? I didn't know trickery was a talent." She gave me a fake surprise look. "Then what are magicians?" I had to roll my eyes at that. 

The bartender gave us our drinks and Jessica was quick to sip it all down which did make my eyes widen. "Come, lets go dance." She then grabs my wrist, dragging me towards the dance floor. "No, Jessica. Please. Maybe in five minutes or so." But there was nothing stopping her from dancing with sweaty, drunk people. We arrived at the dance floor, music playing very loudly more than ever since we were close to the DJ. Jessica finally lets go of my wrist and then started to sway to the beat of the music. I looked at her for a while before giving in. The point of this night is to relax and have fun. So, the least I can do is let loose for a while. For Jessica. And so that is what I did. I finally let go and I finally danced. I danced as if I was the only one in the club. I danced, forgetting about all the stress and problems. I danced with my eyes closed, letting go of everything. It felt good, being able to forget and not having to worry. For once, I felt...calm. It was all I ever wanted too. I actually felt glad that I took Jessica and I out. I guess I was benefiting myself in the process. 

I then felt a presence behind of me. A sort of warmth. I felt a bit of nervousness in me, so I turned around. And there I saw a man, looking at me with a small smile. I wasn't afraid though. He didn't seem dangerous to me. He grabbed my hands and placed them on his shoulders. His touch was light and wasn't forceful. He then started to move again to the music. I then started to slowly move along with him. I looked back at Jessica who was looking at us with a smirk. I didn't care though. I just wanted to relax. And so I danced with him. "You are beautiful. I don't see know how I am lucky to be dancing with you." He whispers in my ear, loud enough for just me to hear. I grinned. "Do you say that to all the girls that you want to sleep with?" I heard a chuckle from him. "No. Just you." I shook my head. This guy is good with words. "Who are you with anyway? No girl like you would come here all alone." I looked at his brown eyes and smiled. "A girl like me? What type of girl am I? And I didn't come here alone. I came here with my best friend." He puts a hand on my lower back. "A girl so...gorgeous as you. You really are beautiful." I did blush a bit. He is crazy. A crazy guy. "You are delusional," I tell him. Very delusional. We continued to dance. We still danced, going on forever it seemed. I was getting comfortable with him. "I never did get your name." He says. I grinned. "Wouldn't you love to know." "Well of course!" I then read my lips to his ear. "Willa." I say before turning around and continuing to dance. He had his hands on my waist, leading me through the music. I closed my eyes for a moment. Becoming for entranced. But for a second, I felt something on the back of my mind. I felt as if I had to open my eyes. And so I did. 

And that is when I saw him. He was looking at me and I just stood there, frozen on the spot. Why was he here of all placed? Why here and why now? It was Alexander, looking at me as if I had just done something wrong. He didn't seem happy at all. "I...I have to leave. To the bathroom." I quickly say to the unknown man before rushing away as quickly as I could. I ran towards the bathrooms, closing the door, breathing heavily. Why is he here? Shouldn't he be with his fiance or something? Why here though? Before I could ask any more questions, the bathroom door opened again. I became terrified for a moment before realizing who it was. That is when I got nervous and scared. "What are you doing here?" I ask him. He looked at me with a glare. "What the hell are you doing here?"  He asks with a hard voice. "Why the fuck would I tell you?" I tell him back. I don't know why he is asking me questions. He has no right to ask me anything. "Who is that guy you were dancing with, huh? Is that one of other boy toys? What happened to the other guy?" I glared at him. Boy toys? Really? Did he really think that lowly of me? "And where's your fiance? Where is she at?" Instead of answering me he moved closer to me. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that?" I was taken back. Who the hell does he think he is? "Fuck you." He then laughs which made my anger grow more. "Fuck me? No, fuck you. You are a bitch. For everything you did to me." Knives were stabbing into me. So many of them stabbing into me. 

It felt like that day all over again. "I hate you. I hate you so god damn much, Alexander. You think I am a bitch? Well, guess what, you're an asshole for everything you did to me. I have been there for you through everything and you want to call me a bitch? That's funny. I am not the one who left out our marriage. You were." He chuckles. "No. But I wasn't being a fucking whore at the process either." And that is when I lost it. The moment moves so fast. My hand moved so fast and before I knew it I was looking at him while he was there, his head turned and his cheek red. "I hate you." I whisper before running out. I could hear his voice calling out to me but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear it at all. I saw Jessica sitting down, drinking something. I quickly grabbed her hand, dragging us out of the club into the cold, night air. "Willa, what happened? Why did you just drag me out like that?" I shook my head. "He was in there. And we have to leave." I say before walking away from the club. I wanted to just be far away from the club as possible. Away from those words. How can he call me those things? How can someone say those things? What have I done to him? He called me a whore. And he actually meant it. It hurt me so bad. I didn't want to believe those words. But they were already out there in the world. I have heard them and they just gutted me. I couldn't breathe. It isn't new that he had said hurtful words to me. But still, they were very painful. And I hated it. I wanted to cry. I can't believe that Alexander is still hurting me. I don't know what I did to him to say such hurtful words to me. 

"Willa, who was there?" I abruptly turned around and looked at her. "Alexander. Alexander was there." Jessica's mouth was open with shock, probably not knowing what to say next. "He...omg, I hate him so much. I can't take this anymore. With him. He keeps just...god I want to slap him and kick him." Tears starting to form in my eyes. I didn't want to cry and show how weak I was, but I couldn't help it. "I didn't do anything to him and he can just come in and act if he didn't do anything to me." Jessica walked towards me and wrapped her arms around me. And that is when I broke. I cried into her shoulder, just wanting to disappear. Why was I letting him hurt me more? Why was I the one becoming broken? Can't he see that I am ready falling apart? "I'm sorry, Willa." Jessica says to me. It didn't matter anymore. He will always think I am the bad guy. I will live with that. I just don't know if I will be able to handle his words latching themselves onto me and sucking every bit of happiness I have. I hate feeling this way. I hate that I am just allowing him to do this to me. "Come on. Let's go home." And so Jessica and I walked back home. I could care less about how I looked at the moment. All I wanted to do was sleep and just momentarily forget about what happened. I just wanted to forget all of this. But I know that I will have to wake up and feel the pain of his words. Will this ever get old?