When I Eat, I Hate Myself A Little More

Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

My mom doesn't know anything yet, basically my whole family doesn't. Isn't it weird how I'd rather tell my problems to strangers than my own family? Am I the only one here that does that?

Yeah?

Probably.

Apparently I was supposed to go to this treatment centre to get this application to sign up for the program so I'm just here waiting for the guy to call my name. People have been looking at me weirdly the whole time I was here, yeah I am ugly and fat but seriously what's the point of staring at me like that.

That dumb ass old lady looking at me from head to toe, that business woman shaking her head. Did I mention I hate people.

I stood up from the seat an decided to just look around at the pamphlets about anorexia. I could feel everyone's eyes staring at me when I picked it up but I tried to ignore it.

Anorexia, the most common eating disorder in history is getting more and more common each year . Doctors and psychiatrists still do not have an accurate reason on why people would get this particular mental illness.

Symptoms would include, binging, purging, obsessive behavior over weight loss, and extreme weight loss resulting in a very under weight person.

Well that last sentence pissed me off.

"I guess my problem isn't as serious as it seems."

I walked out of the centre, again ignoring the glances from the old lady and walked straight to the pavement. Luckily there was a trash can right on the grass so I quickly stomped over there and threw it in, causing a loud sound.

"What's wrong with me." , I kept thinking to myself. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my texts and saw Lance's name.

Hey tell me how it went once you're done.

He wasn't able to follow me to the centre today, he got last minute detention from this new teacher because he went to his class late. For at least two minutes.

But now I don't even know what I'm supposed to tell him. Tell him,

'oh I skipped it!'

'I didn't bother to go anyways.'

Hah.

As if.

Without realizing it I appeared in front of my front door. Since no one was home I unzipped my backpack and searched for my keys.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now", I muttered to myself.

I brought my hand up to my face and I felt like screaming because apparently I left my keys on the drawers this morning and forgot to take it with me.

"Okay, okay. This isn't all that bad. I just have to wait for three more hours for my mom or Terra to come back."

The problem is where do I even think I could go? There is practically nothing and no place I was able to go. Lance was busy, Nicole was still working in school and I don't have anyone else anymore.

That's when I decided where I should head to.

The park.

I took the same route to the park as the last time when I was supposed to meet Lance, through the small pavement near the woods. Its especially quiet today.

No birds, no crickets, no nothing.

After what felt like hours of walking since I wasn't looking forward to anything, I reached the park and walked towards the same bench. I plopped myself down and decided to let myself relax just a bit, I could text Lance and say that I wasn't feeling well so I couldn't go later. Why did I even agree to the plan?