When I Eat, I Hate Myself A Little More

Chapter 23

We were walking in a gift store, with Christmas music playing and with an addition of Rio's singing when I realized something. I have no idea what to get for Lance. I stop walking.

I don't actually know what he really likes. This is bad.

Rio and Skylar were looking at some funky electronic stuff, it feels sucky. It's like they just know what to get. But I'm just here, the supposed girlfriend but apparently the one that knows nothing about him or what to get for him.

"Hey Lindsey come here! What do you think about this?", Skylar held up an electronic rectangular speaker with water pumping inside in sync with the beat. I walk over to them as they talk and giggle together, being all happy for making the decision.

I had to ask this, "He likes electronics?". I half expected them to laugh at me for being stupid. I wait for their reaction and they just shrug at me, causing me to raise an eyebrow at them.  "Well, it's pretty cool though." , I say to both of them as I examine the speaker in my hand, blasting electro music. "It really is."

"I know!", they both exclaim.

Of course since everyone agreed to it, we bought it. We walk along the other gift stores, checking to see if we had actually missed out anything better. They were talking about something that has to do with some girl we walked past with overwhelming cleavage.

Something is missing. I don't know what. The speaker is good but I don't know what else I should get, I feel that I owe him something. Not necessarily in a bad way but I wanted to give him something... more. I just don't know what.

"Wanna get home?"

I look up and see Skylar and Rio  looking at me. "Oh okay.", I said before thinking.

10 minutes later, we were already on the way back to the direction of school.

15 minutes later, I already dropped them off with Skylar holding the present.

20 minutes later, I'm home with no ideas for a personal present.

I go to my room, not bothering to change out of my clothes since nobody was home as usual and sit on my bed. I tap my feet on the floorboards, trying to rack my brains to at least come up with something.  Come on, think. Think. Think. I lay back onto my bed and close my eyes, feeling the warmth of my scarf and the thick blanket below me. It kind of reminds me how that  felt. It was so comfortable, not even awkward at all. He made me feel warm and safe, if only I can just rewind time again. I resist the urge to just run out of the house straight to Lance's house to be wrapped in his arms.

I sigh and lay down on my side, trying to imagine what would it be like if Lance was here with me, right now. Playing, laughing, telling jokes, more kisses. I smile at the thought of it and I suddenly laugh. What am I doing? I feel like such a silly person, it's impossible for someone to actually make me feel this way, right? Right?

Not really.

It feels like I wished on a star because my phone suddenly lit up, I grab my phone and smiled. It's from Lance.

Hang out tonight? Need to talk.

I immediately grimace. Talk? About what? I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong. I close my eyes and replay everything I did to spot if I did actually do something to offend him, nothing. So I just do what Lindsey Clarke would do, I agree.

Park?

Park.

See ya at eight

Alright J

I got a smiley, at least it's a good sign. I stand up and brush the dust off my clothes, there is still at least 3 more hours till 8 but I practically have nothing else to do so I just dialed Terra's number. After two rings she answered.