When I Eat, I Hate Myself A Little More

Chapter 4

Helllooo I edited a bit of chapter 2 to make it that Lindsey is going to her first day of school after a long and well.. bad holiday. It will make much more sense. So here's chapter 4~ enjoyyy!

CHAPTER 4

I could feel the warmth of the sun shining on me. I groaned as I tried to sit up straight.

Why the hell am I lying on a bed.

Wasn't I supposed to b--

oh.

crap.

I forcefully opened my eyes and I instantly regretted doing so. The bright rays of the sun instantly collided with my eyes and my headache came back full force.

I was about to start cursing all over again when I heard a slight chuckle.

I frowned and directed my head to the sound. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a lady in a navy blue uniform looking at me with a big grin.

"Who are you?" I asked

She kept her smile on her face and said "Well I'm the nurse here silly, and you're in my office. You fainted in the morning during the assembly. How are you feeling?"

I looked at the floor and the memories of it started to flow back.

How could I have not remembered it just now?

I glanced back up at her and briefly smiled at her.

"Hmm.. Much better, thanks for asking."

Her look towards me suddenly turned worrying. She glanced at my legs and back up at me.

I started to feel really nervous by her stares. She was glancing at the place of my scars which was covered. But it was hard to actually cover it up as I was wearing my school shorts and I had no idea if she actually saw it when I fainted.

I was brought out of my thoughts when she spoke.

"I saw that there were.."

My hands started to become sweaty and my hands fidgeted.

"... Scars on your thighs."

Suddenly everything felt blank.

She knows.

"Deny it to her. It's for your own good."

Ana's voice once again managed to invade my mind and I tried to calm myself down from my panic attack.

"Oh that?"

I laughed and gave a very unnecessary awkward cough.

"Did I mention I own a cat? She likes to play with me all the time but I guess that's one of the cons of it"

I smiled trying to make it convincing and to make things less awkward.

I kept looking at her face and saw a change of expression.

From worrying to a sign of relief.

"Oh dear I guess that must explain it. I'm sorry for probing too much"

Her smile was back on her face.

I heaved a sigh of relief cautiously and said "it's ok. I'm not like those teenagers who wants attention"

ouch

It stung to even manage to say that. I was saying that to myself. I had to intentionally hurt myself mentally for them to believe my lie.