When I Eat, I Hate Myself A Little More

Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

I’m being sandwiched between Lance and that guy. That one person who thinks that hiding his own name from others is funny. School is dismissed and apparently both of them wanted to have lunch in school, inviting me along. Genius.

“So how long have you been dating?”, he asked. I almost choked on my water, the only thing in front of me on the table. Obviously no food. Lance looked at him and I looked at Lance, I wanted to see what his reaction would be to that. But nothing came out of his mouth, just an even bigger smirk as he took a blueberry from his sundae and popped it into his mouth.

It was really tempting. That is what I hate most about eating out with people, I feel insecure about what I eat if I actually eat and even if I don’t, Their food just makes me want to go berserk. Before I become berserk though, I quickly changed the subject. “Stop talking about me.”, I said to him. “Come on, out with it. What is your name?” , I almost  gave a whine, honestly I’m kind of tired but there is no way he can hide it forever.

I glanced at Lance and caught him giving me a confused look. 

Crap.

I haven’t told him about our encounter yet. Wonder what he would think of it. But he was the one that got me mad and Carlito came to my house on the same day, if it isn’t a coincidence I don’t know what is.

“Well you see Lance, yesterday I visited Lindsey’s house to give her something back but don’t worry we didn’t do any kinky stuff.”, Carlito said as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.  I sat up straight and my eyes grew big, feeling the embarrassment overwhelming me slowly.

I stuttered for a bit, not knowing what exactly to say. What exactly am I able to say or explain this? That’s when I heard a slight laugh.

Lance. He was laughing, full on laughing. He even had to put his sundae spoon down to clutch his stomach as he leaned back to continue his mad laughing. Carlito joined in soon after. Were they mocking me? They better not be, I’ve been feeling rather better coping with my anxiety these days I do not want it to go back down again. My heart beat grew quicker, it’s like I can even hear it out loud in the noisy cafeteria.

No I have to do something, I won’t be mocked again, I can’t.

I mustered up that small bit of courage in me as I joined in the crowd of laughter. It made them laugh harder, maybe it seems that my laugh sounds genuine to them. But to me, it’s all just fakeemotions and just plain lies.

Someone Is starting to walk towards the direction of our table, I guess I was the only one who noticed it maybe because they were too caught up in their own world probably. I kept my eye on her, but she didn’t even look in my direction but instead it was on Carlito. At least he has a fake name to identify himself as. She was holding her food tray,  skipping and hopping a little as she walked towards us. She has short dirty blonde hair, chopped off at the length close to her shoulders. I didn’t even notice when she slid her tray onto the table beside me.

“What’s everyone laughing about?”, she says. She started eyeing everyone carefully as their laughter died down at her presence. She stayed in that position for God knows how long and suddenly she smiled widely, not a toothy grin but the smile that makes her squint her eyes until it seems like it’s no longer there. “Rio I hope you’re not making our new found friend here uncomfortable.” , She added on while she playfully nudged me at the side. I couldn’t help but release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I avoid her glances though, it’s awkward and I still am not close to any of them except for Lance.