What If? {Louis Tomlinson Fan Fic}

Chapter 6 - Fix A Heart

-Roxy's POV-

The car ride was silent, with Louis keeping his eyes on the road and me looking out the window, he stopped the car near a forest,

"So you didn't want to talk, you just wanted to screw with me?"

He looked at me confused then he shook his head quickly,

"No... I have a surprise.."

He said and got out of the car and ran over to open my door,

"Well atleast your a gentlemen, all of the guys in my class don't let you go in first, that asshole Noah literally shoved me just to get out of class before me."

"Well you know what? Those guys don't know how to treat a lady. They're just jerks, they don't deserve you.."

His words made my heart flutter, NO ROXY, DON'T FALL FOR HIM AGAIN!

He lead me to a spot in the woods, I saw a picnic table and a picnic basket,

"How did you plan this all out?"

I said happily surprised,

"I texted my friend, Harry, to set this up for me."

I was so shocked, no guy has ever done this for me. I never expected it to be Louis,

"Thats... nice."

We sat down next to each other and opened the basket; there were sandwhiches and wine, surprisingly there was cheese.

"I remembered that you like cheese.."

He said not trying to sound like a stalker.

"Thanks."

I said and nibbled on it.

-Louis' POV-

Roxy looked so cute nibbling on her cheese and sandwhich, as soon as we were done, I decided to ask her the question,

"So, about what we were talking about before..."

I said and looked at her wrist,

"Oh well, will you still be here after I'm done explaining or will you leave because you hate me?"

My eyes widened,

"I don't hate you Roxy.. I never did and I never will."

"Even after I called you an asshole at the dance last year..."

-FLASHBACK-

I was now outside for the tenth time this night, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Roxy.. I tried to talk to Roxy but her friends were being clingy... as usual. I saw her and her friend Sage walk out, she looked at me but she quickly looked away. I walked back in and I heard Roxy say furiosly,

"What an asshole, he won't even talk to me."

I know I didn't, and I regret it. She doesn't understand that I'm extremely shy. So I pretended to be mad at her for the rest of the night.

-FLASHBACK OVER-

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her,

"I just thought Sage was mad at me.."

I lied, she laughed,

"Anyways, Two years ago I was talking to my mom a lot and she was giving me bad advice and basically kind of stressing me out. I felt really stupid and I felt like I didn't have any real friends, heck I still feel like that today. I felt like nobody cared about me. So I let out my pain through cutting. I told some people that I cut and I got in trouble and I was called to the Psychiatrists office."

She took a sip of water,

"She told me that I could go see her every friday."

She said and played around with her water bottle,

"So did you go see her?.."

I asked as her gaze came back up to me,

"No, I told her I wasn't mental.."

She took a deep breath,

"I told her that I was just in love."

The words hit me, they followed up with the song,

"I felt like I had to be perfect for one person, its sad to say that special someone didn't care enough to see my cry for helps..."

She said with a crack in her voice, she bit the bottom of her lip supressing the urge of tears that were trying to escape,

"What about your grandma, you live with her right?"

She nodded her head,

"Didn't she say anything..?"

She shook her head and stared at the grass, she continued,

"At one point I felt like I shouldn't be on this earth because I thought that everyone hated me. But the truth is, I just hated myself."

I couldn't stand to hear her talk bad about herself, before I could say anything she continued,

"I go to therapy every second wednesday, it helps a lot. I haven't cut for about four months and ten days."

She said staring at the ink on her skin,

"Well thats great that you stopped; you don't deserve to die. No one does."

I said and tilted her chin so she was now staring into my eyes,

"You only say that because you have such an easy life. My dad suicided when I was only six years old and my mom, who knows where she is now? Its not a great feeling when you have to say to people, 'I have to ask my gma.' How lame is that?"

She looked back to the ground trying her best not to cry,

"My life isn't easy either Roxy, despite the tragedies that you've had, I barely even see my dad. Even when I lived at home with my sisters and my mom. My mom was a hard worker, we barely saw her, not even for a full hour a day.."

I said in defense,

"Atleast you have parents. Even if they are barely there. They love you, I know that."

I nodded my head, and the thought came to me,

"Why don't you talk to your mom anymore?"

She looked at me with tears in her eyes,

"Shes an alcoholic, I had to take care of myself and Roger when we were little. She went to rehab but she didn't come out of there sober... Later on in November of grade six, she drank like a fish. I saw her on the ground and she told me, "Call grandma to come get you guys." It killed me to see my own mother so drunk that she was curled up in a ball in the corner crying."

I put my hand on top of hers,

"I didn't know, I'm so sorry Roxy, for your mom, for your dad, for everything."

I wiped away one of the tears on her pale cheek with my thumb,

"It's not your fault Louis. Its nobodys fault. Its just something I went through, I'm glad I went through it because I'm not that teenager that gets crazy drunk or high on pot or makes stupid mistakes like getting a drunk tattoo of my ex' name or having various one night stands."

She squeezed my hand,

"Shes made me who I am today, and I thank her for letting me not make the mistakes she did."

I squeezed her hand,

"You're a very strong girl, Roxy."

She smiled,

"Thanks, Louis."

She got up and put her backpack on,

"Now, you're bringing me home, right?"

I instantly replied,

"No, you promised me a full night, since its only thursday, your coming back with me to Montreal for the night."

And the truth comes out! Yup, I wrote that part 1000% true. That's my life in Roxy's words! Just wanted to share peoples! Stay strong lovelies xx.