too young for this { harry styles }

Chapter 13.

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Harry's P.O.V.

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It's been 7 months since she left me.

She made it clear that we were through, but I didn't want her to commit suicide over it.

I found out a couple of months after she did it and was heartbroken. I made sure to never be near her again, or anyone for that matter.

I may have taken things to an extreme after I found out that Jeff, the president of Modest! Management, had blackmailed her.

I wanted so badly to get back with her, but I couldn't. No matter what I did I couldn't because I don't deserve a girl like her. I told her those terrible things when they weren't true and I yelled at her.

I had to be the reason she did it.

Not a day goes by when I don't think of her, and that makes me so, so very sad.

The day I found out about it all, I went crazy.

I drove to the office and told them those four words I never thought I'd say.

"I quit One Direction."

They begged me for hours not to do it, but I did.

And I regret nothing.

The only thing I do regret is letting the fans down and not being in the band anymore.

I'm not friends with any of the boys anymore.

Just Niall and I talk sometimes, but not much.

Louis was devestated and hated me.

The other two didn't say anything. They just told me to "leave" and "get your shit straight."

And I don't have my shit straight.

I've never been so crazy in my life.

I get drunk every night and find hopeless college girls to hook up with, I'm not really what you'd call sane anymore.

The day I got that call from Julia was when I went downhill, and I can't seem to go up after that.

I cried for days and blamed myself and cursed people out on Twitter.

All of the world knew I had quit One Direction when I tweeted:

@Harry_Styles: I need to focus on myself right now. I can't handle a dumb boyband anymore.

People wouldn't stop asking me about it and calling me about it afterwards.

I couldn't help but think of those fans out there who lost hope for anything. There were rumors of girls commiting suicide because of it, but I couldn't bare listening to that.

I had to block everyone out of my life.

Only now, I've began to sell a few songs on iTunes and I have quite a lot of fans still.

Everytime I hear One Direction's new songs on the radio my heart kind of dies inside because it all reminds me of her.

I could still go and get her, but I can't really make myself.

I hurt her in ways nobody should be hurt and that's something I hate myself for.

She drove herself crazy after we ended and attempted.

But she failed.

There are plenty of rumors about her being in rehab or a mental institution, but I can't really trust those rumors.