too young for this { harry styles }

Chapter 15.

~

The car ride was dreadful.

I was stuck in a moving vehicle for three hours with three people I hate very, very much.

Sam had put in his old CD of Michael Buble, which I didn't mind.

I think they all refused to put on the radio because they were scared I was going to go crazy because One Direction is normally on the radio.

But they don't get it, none of them do. I don't care about any of this and I never will because it doesn't matter.

The only thing I care about is how much I fucking hate the world for putting me here. Like I wanted to die. Nobody seems to get that. I still want to die. I wish Julia let me die 7 fucking months ago. But she didn't.

"When do I get my phone back?" I asked breaking the silence that had been going on for far too long now.

Nobody said anything, just the low hum of the engine and Michael Buble's beautiful voice were heard in the background of my hateful thoughts.

"It's at the house, I suppose when we get back." My mother finally piped.

I smiled. "Good. It's 'bout time I go on Twitter, don't ya think?"

Everyone knew I was kidding, but they hadn't been used to my new humor. Well, new humor for them, not me.

Nobody answered my question that didn't need answering, so I just kept on pestering them.

"What am I gonna do anyways?" I asked, not asking anyone in particular.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked back in his busniess-like tone.

"Like, I've spent half of the year in a rehabilitation center. I don't have school to do unless I do college. So what should I do? I can do anything really, as long as its legal. I have enough money in the death fund." I said, trying to sound somewhat thoughtful.

I think everyone in the car were thinking.

Because I can do anything. And that scares all of them. Nobody would want a manufactured Ivy to be running out on the streets hating everyone, now would they?

"I suppose you can go to college if you'd like." My mother finally said interrupting my thoughts.

I winced at the thought of learning stuff. "I don't think college is a good choice for me. Too much going on and too many people to hate." I spoke, making the silence even more awkward.

Julia gave me some look where I felt like she hated me as well, but I ignored it.

"Then you can go to LA with Sam and I." She said from the passengers seat.

"Oh, that's dreadful. I wouldn't want to ruin the newlyweds rough sex everynight out at the pool." I smirked, pleased with my comment.

I don't know if it was the joke or the madness that made Julia laugh, but she did. It wasn't one of those dying-of-laughter laughs, but it was one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-what-you've-become laughs.

Neither Sam nor my mother talked after that, and I didn't mind at all.

"You should do music. Maybe make YouTube videos or something." Julia said from beside me awhile after that conversation already ended.

"Eh, I was thinking more practical. Something that makes lots of dough." I told her, rubbing my right thumb against the rest of my fingers, the way those New Yorkers do in those old movies when they're talking about money.

She didn't reply after that, she just sat there looking out the window in deep thought.

"I think I'll just rob a bank or sell my pills to some addicts. I'd make lots of dough then." I said proudly.