Hazel Eyes (A NeverShoutNever FanFic)

l Love You More Than You'll Ever Know

Amy's POV

I was being such a fuck up. I'd wake up, cry a little, eat, shower, eat, cry a little more, listen to music, find myself listening to him, cry a lot more, eat and then fall asleep watching Grease or Pretty In Pink.

I'd been at this for days and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't see myself being happy without him and not only was that weird, it also made me feel kinda like a creep.

I was tired of being brain dead.

There was only one way to stop this. I forced myself off the bed and then hopped into the shower.

Once out, I straightened my hair and made it look nice before applying the sexiest looking makeup I could work and topping it off with red lipstick.

I squeezed into my tiniest skin tight black dress and put on my black pumps before catching a cab. I told him where I wanted to go and he shook his head and smiled before stepping on it.

We got there quickly and I jumped out, paying him, flashing my ID and then skipping into the flashy room.

"Omg, you are so gorgeous!" Was the first thing I heard. "Aw, thank you! Its nice to hear it from somebody." I sighed. The woman grinned and stepped back, letting me go towards the bar.

I ordered three tequila shots and grinned from ear to ear when the man placed them in front of me.

"Bad break up?" The buff man asked. "Something along those lines,why?" I asked. "Why else do beautiful women come to gay bars?" He asked with a grin. I simply smiled and took all three shots quickly.

"My names Kevin, my boyfriend is Daniel and hes over there. I know I just met you but do you by any chance know of anyone looking for roommates?" Kevin asked. "Me actually." He smiled a big smile and took me over to Daniel. "Shes our new roommate!" Kevin squealed. "I do not go home with guys on a first date." I protested. "Then we'll get you hammered so you have no choice." Kevin smirked. I shrugged and he dragged me to the bar.

I hadn't drunk in so long and id never drunk that much in one night. It was like I was on drugs. I couldn't even stand straight on the dance floor.

When it came time to go I didn't care that id just met these two men and I was going home with them, I knew id do something stupid if I was alone so I left with them.

"Come on. Just one more step." Daniel muttered, trying to get me into the apartment. "I couldn't help it... He was so cute and sweet but an asshole and I love him and I'm gonna die alone." I slurred. "Do you want aome advil darling?" Kevin asked. I nodded and Daniel ran off before coming back to say they were all out.

"What?" I asked. "I'm sorry, just get some rest. You'll feel better in the morning." Kevin assured me. "Why cant you get me the advil? Is it because you don't love me? Because Daniel is better than me? Because he makes you happier than me?" I complained. "Honey, go to sleep." Daniel cooed. "Because hes known you longer? Why don't you love me? I love you! I'm sorry I'm not good enough. Please,  just love me!" I wailed as tears streamed down my face.

"Go to sleep." They both said. "I'll love you forever if you go to sleep." Kevin whispered. I sniffled and nodded, wrapping myself in blankets and hugging myself tightly.

As I wept silently my phone provoked me with its glimmering buttons across the room. I didnt want to.

Who the hell am I kidding. Of course I wanted to.

I tiptoed over to the phone and dialled the 11 digits.

One ring. Two rings .Three rings. Four rings. I hope he answers .Six rings.

"Whoevers calling me right now better have a good reason." Chris's voice muttered. I tried to speak but the words caught in my throat and I felt like I was choking on air.

"Hello?" His sleepy voice asked. I wanted to say I love you. I wanted to scream it, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Seriously. I just got back from a show. I'm tired. Let me sleep." He muttered. I heard shuffling and quickly forced his name out.

"Chris.." I croaked. Pure silence.

"Amy? Was that you?" He asked in a shaky voice. He sounded like he was about to cry. Guilt washed over me and I quickly hung up.

"I wish I could tell you all the reasons I love you." I whispered to myself and set the phone down quietly.

I didn't cry that night. I shed a single tear and then stopped. I couldn't feel anymore and I wasn't sure if I was relieved or hurt.

Chris's POV

I sniffled and wiped my cheek as Hayden walked into the backlounge.

"What's up man?" I looked up and smiled but he saw straight through it. "Amy?" He guessed. I nodded and looked back down.

"I can't say anything that'll help because your big ass ego is in the way." He said. I rolled my eyes and looked at him. "If you just admitted it to yourself that this was all your fault you would've called her a long time ago." He shrugged and walked off, leaving me to feel like shit.

He was right though.

I dialled the number back but she wouldn't pick up so I started sending message after message.

I felt like a freakin stalker. But she needed to know that I couldn't do without her.

How could I tell her if she wouldn't answer my calls? It's not like I knew where she was to tell her face to face how much I loved her.