Only For Her

God, I Wish I Could Have Loved You

I adjust Luke's black tie and he leans forward. He tenderly holds my hips in his warm hands and I place my hands on his chest. He looks into my eyes questioningly and I press a light touch to his lips and pull away. "I'm going to check on Jai." I say and walk out of the room without waiting for his reply. I couldn't answer his question.

I find Jai sitting in the living room, his tie hanging loose around his neck. "Why aren't you dressed yet?" I ask and he sighs. "I can feel it, Hayden." He says and I look at him in confusion. "Feel what exactly?" I ask. "Your sadness. And the love you once held for him." He says and I fall silent. "It was in the past." I say and he looks away. "But you have a history." He continues. "It didn't end well." I answer and he looks at me in question. "He had tried to force himself onto me." I answer his gaze. I try not to let my pain show but I know he felt it. He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head in the crook of his neck. His hand rubs my back and he whispers comforting words. But they did nothing to calm me for what I am going to do.

"Hayden, we need to tell you something." June says and I look at her. "The Alphas Kane and Alexa Sinclair visited the pack a few weeks ago." She says and I stiffen. "Why?" I ask. "Alexa is in search for a mate. I hear she found her mate in Blake Volkov of the Gethen pack at the Gathering." She continues as if it didn't matter. "I hope they are happy together. She's a good woman." I say with a small smile. I met her a few times when Ricky took me with him to meet with the other Betas. She deserves good after what happened to her mate.

"You okay to go?" Luke asks lowly as we park in front of the cemetery. "I'm fine." I say and I feel him press a kiss to my cheek. I lean into him and Jai takes my hand in his. Luke takes my other into his and I feel it in my heart. This is what I needed. I needed to have them both at the same time. I couldn't have one at different times. I needed them both.

We find the various Alphas that were able to come. I find Ricky, Angelina, James, Victoria, and some other Alphas I didn't recognize. "Addy." I say and she looks up. I open my arms and she comes. I hold her and feel my tears threatening to spill. I may have left, but our friendship couldn't be broken.

She sniffles and walks back to her parents. My eyes land on Ricky and Angelina. Ricky was staring at Luke and Jai but Angelina was looking at me. I look down at the flower in my hand and I slowly walk towards the opened earth. I lean down and drop the flower in the center of the casket. My eyes water when I walk back to my mates.

We all walk back to our cars and James stops me. "Are you joining us at the pack house?" He asks and I nod. "Of course." I answer and he nods. "See you there." He says and walks back to Victoria and Addy. Jai opens the door for me and I move into the center seat and Luke gets in after me then goes into the driver's seat. "Are you okay?" Luke asks and I nod. "Follow them, Jai." I say and he nods.

The Druids had their own cemetery a few miles behind the pack house. The cemetery has been here for centuries according to James and Victoria. It served only for the Alphas, Betas, and Gammas of the pack.

We park and get out. I adjust my ring nervously and Luke's hand on mine stops me. It calms my nervousness but not the anger that is making my blood boil. Ricky decided to say I was dead and that isn't right. Unless that was his twisted way of protecting me from something.

We walk in and I am met with a crushing hug. "Hayden, we've missed you." Victoria whispers in my ear and I pull back. "I've missed you too." I answer and step away. She blinks and leads me into the living room. I sit across my Ricky and Angelina and my eyes turn to ice when they meet his. He stiffens and Angelina places her hand on his arm. Calm down, Hayden. Jai says and I feel my wolf pushing to break free.
I can't. He told everyone I died.
Let it go. You don't need to fight.
It will satisfy my wolf if we do.
I understand, but don't you dare.
Fine.
I try to rein in my wolf but she keeps pushing. I don't know how much longer I can keep her contained but I'll try. And it looks like Ricky is having a hard time with his. His eyes flicker between gold and brown. Angelina tries to calm him but to no avail. She wasn't his true mate and couldn't calm him like his first mate.

I hear the low cries of the pack and I feel my wolf's need to cry with them. She too lost someone close. He might have hurt us, but he was her first love. Jackson was never in her heart. He was only in mine once.

One cry catches my ear and I look out the window. I look at the snow and pine covered slopes and see the pack. I recognize the lead howlers and I bite down hard on lip. It was Jackson and Gamma Daniel. Green eyes look into the room and I make the mistake of making eye contact. Jackson bares his teeth in a snarl and I feel my wolf reacting once again like all those months ago.

This time, neither Luke nor Jai try to stop me. I throw open the back doors, letting the blowing snow inside. I walk onto the deck and I hear two people following behind me. I know it's Luke and Jai. They were going to intervene if needed. I smell Alpha James following as well since it was his pack members.

I shift and shake out my fur. The fur on my back bristles and I bare my teeth at Jackson. He leaps at me and I jump back. My teeth snap close to his feet and he bites down on my ear. I cry out and I hear two low growls from behind me. I snap around and my teeth find his shoulder. I bite down hard until I feel blood in my mouth. He lets go and I do too. I let his blood run down my fangs and his lip curls again. I feel my fur bristle again and I growl at him. He barks then stares at me.
Why did you come back?
You know why.
Cause of Corey? Wow, sometimes you really are dumb.
What?
It's a set up. You need to grab your guard dogs and run.
Jackson! Why?!
Just do it! Run now!
He launches at James and I take off running. I hear Luke and Jai at my sides and I run faster when I hear a yelp. Jackson. I whine and Luke presses his nose to my shoulder.
Keep running. Luke says and I take them to the only place I know is safe.

Ryan's house.