More Than a Bestfriend

Chapter 6

A/N
This chapter contains a trigger warning. If you deal with anxiety, depression or self harm, please read this with caution. -Jennica.
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Phil's POV
Nothing has been on my mind except for what Dan asked me last night. Do I like him in a romantic way? The more I think, the more confused I get. What would my family think? I don't even know what it's like to date a male. What if I just can't do it and I hurt him? All of our subscribers will be so disappointed if we stopped being friends. The list only goes on. I could propose that we try it but there is such a high risk. These thoughts rush through my head, causing me to get a slight headache.

Dan has been awake for awhile now, in the living room. Avoiding contact with him, i've been sitting on my bed trying to decided what to do.

I think I like him. He's so cute.. and kinda sexy, and his personality is just so amazing! He never fails to make me laugh, causing me to get butterflies. Honestly, I think i'm scared of hurting him.
After a few more minutes of thought, I decided to talk it through with him before making any final decisions.

As soon as I stepped foot into the hallway, I saw Dan on the couch in the same position as everyday. There's a Dan-shaped crease that he keeps digging deeper every day.
"Dan," he looks up at me as soon as he hears my voice. I can tell he has been worrying about it too.
"Can we talk?"
I sit down beside him as he closes his laptop.
"So.. what did you decide?"
I didn't even have to start the conversation, he automatically knows what this was about.
"Okay i'm just going to say it." I take a deep breath, "Dan I like you. I don't know how easy it will be for me to date you. It's so different than any experience I have ever had. Even though it's confusing, I know I like you and I really want to be with you. I just don't want my confusion to ever hurt you."

I looked into his eyes. I usually can tell what people are thinking by looking at their eyes but Dan seems to have too many emotions for me too read.
"Phil," he starts. "I have never dated a male either. All I know is that I like you, no matter the sex. And yeah, sometimes people get hurt in love, but even love isn't perfect. If you broke up with me, I might be pissed for awhile, but I wouldn't stop being your friend. Unless you decide to be a dick about it... then we'd have to talk."

I smile up at him. I guess that is final.
"What does this make us?" He asks.
"Whatever you want us to be."
He smirks, "That isn't what I asked you Philly."
I blushed a little. How could I help it?
"You're so cute when you blush," he says with a toothy grin.
Of course, this only made me blush more.
"Daniel Howell, will you be my boyfriend?"
He pretended to act like he had just been proposed to. He switched to a high, posh voice, "Why Phillip, I do!"
We both laughed for what seemed like forever. I think this will work out nicely.

Dan's POV

After becoming Phil's boyfriend, we sat on the couch, scrolling side by side. Basically my perfect date. Me and Phil are scrolling through Tumblr, looking at all the pictures and words our phans posted. It's honestly so inspiring how much they care about us.

Phil giggled. I love it when he giggles. He sounds so small and cute. The sound of it makes me laugh as well, "What is it?"
He snickered some more while turning his laptop screen towards me. In front of me was a sketch of me on top of Phil, making out.
"Why are you giggling?" Honestly I thought the sketch was kind of cute.
"Well." He takes a breath to calm down, "It's just funny how they were always right all along. We always told them there was nothing between us but they still saw it coming. This picture of us in particular never happened but still, you get what I mean."
I smile. The phan shippers have always been right. The picture made me feel kind of romantic, so I went for it.

"Well, why not let them be right about one more thing?" I climbed on top of him, my legs are on either side of his hips, "We can always.... recreate the drawing." I lean in to kiss him and he closes the gap right away. I was drunk the first time we kissed, but since i'm right in the brain this time, I decided to make this kiss special. I slipped my tongue in his mouth again. We weren't stopping except for getting air every once and awhile. Passion began to grow within me. I sat back up so that I was only between his calves, pulling him up with me durning the process.
I started to rub up his thigh in attempt to get him hard. As soon as I got dangerously close to his member, he moans loudly. I start to unbutton my shirt, not stopping our make out session for a second. As soon as I had successfully taken my shirt off, I began to try and do the same to his. Phil stopped and backed up.
I took a moment to process what just happened, I don't want it to stop.
"No, don't," he whispers.
Whenever I try to take off his shirt he freaks out. His long sleeved shirts are only making him look less attractive. Less is more in his case.
"Phil, whats wrong? Why do you-"
He interrupts me, "I'm going to bed."
With that he gets up, walks down our hallway, and closes his door.
                             •••
After Phil left me hurt and confused, I continued to read Tyler's book, "Binge." It's really great, i'm honestly liking it a lot.

"Damnit," I say aloud. I left my phone in Phil's room. I shut off the table lamp and put away my book. I went to retrieve my phone out of Phil's room. He doesn't usually get awoken easily so I should get off fine. I slowly open Phil's door. He doesn't move a muscle. As soon as I spot my phone, I take it back into my hands. I notice that Phil is finally shirtless. I don't know why he ever covers himself up. He's beautiful as himself.

After looking at him a little longer. I squint at his body, something weird is covering his arms. I get up closer towards him and run my hand along his forearms. In a quick rush of fear, I feel the blood leave my face. My body turns cold and my heart starts pumping faster by the second. As soon as I feel the tears stream down my face, I gasp for air.

All the way up Phil's wrists are fresh scars.