More Than a Bestfriend

Chapter 11

Dan's POV

"I honestly don't know why it's such a big deal," I tell myself as I hear the sirens draw closer. I'm sure Phil wouldn't call an ambulance.... I never did it for him. The screeching of the sirens get louder. The seaming inside my brain also gets louder, making me want to run. I don't want to go to the hospital. I want to stay here with Phil and have him be beside me. I want to wrap my arms around him while we watch anime. I want to kiss his soft, pink lips again. I want to apologize to him and tell him I love him and i'd never treat him like shit again. Oh how wrong I was to start this, to cause him to leave me. The sirens are dangerously close to my house, making me lose any hope I had of them not being for me. My arm is still bleeding though, I didn't bandage it or clean it. I just put it close to my stomach, causing blood to stain my shirt forever. More permanent memories. I hear doors slam outside the apartment. This apartment used to be the safest, most happy place I ever knew. Now it's a place where my nightmares have been brought to life.
"Open the doors now!" A deep voice shouts from right outside the door.
I sit down on the couch, "It's not locked," I shout back.
A tall man in a white outfit bursts in and pauses right in front of me.
"Hello," I sigh.
"Mr. Howell, come in the ambulance immediately, i'm afraid you have no choice."
"I thought you might say that."
"Your friend, Phil Lester, will accompany you back to the hospital."
"Phil?" I say, with a toothy grin. I hop to my feet and run to the large white vehicle. The sirens hurt my ears but it doesn't matter, right inside it is my baby.
I open the back doors to the ambulance, "Phil!"
I put my arms around him, getting his plaid shirt covered in my blood.
"Sorry, I- I forgot.." I stutter.
The man shuts the doors behind me and starts the engine.
Phil doesn't say a word, he's more pale that i've ever seen him. I'm worried he'll cry, I really hope he doesn't."
"Phil are you alright?"
He gives me a stunned look, "Am I alright?! You are the one that should be asked if you're alright! You... you bastard. You can't cut yourself that deep! You could die!" He sobs on the last word, but still remains tearless.

I'm surprised Phil swore but I guess it seems I have other things to think about.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, "I just wanted to prove that I love you."
"Oh Dan.." He frowns. He puts his arm around me and sits me down,
"I wish you didn't do that. Couldn't you have done anything else? Anything? I'm so, so sorry.... this is all my fault." He lets go of me and puts his head in his arms.
"No it's not."
"Yes it is, Dan. If it wasn't for me-"
I interrupt him, "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in this ambulance in the first place. That's all you need to think about."
He looks up at me. I missed his big, blue eyes. They're like round, crystal ponds. I wanted to stare at them forever but the ambulance came to a stop and I was rushed into the emergency unit.
•••
Phil's POV

I pace the empty halls of the hospital. The sound of my shoes hitting the white flooring echoes with every step. My pacing grows faster with every passing minute. With every step, my fear gets more intense. My thoughts start to eat at my brain like crows.
What if I lose him?
What if he's in pain?
What if I can't say goodbye?
I want to curl up in a ball and cry but I know I need to stay strong for Dan. Every time that I was suffering, Dan stayed strong for me, it's my turn to do the same.

"Please be okay.... please." I whisper. I love him so much. If anything happened to him, I don't know if I could go on. I wish I never left the apartment. I become conscious of the echoing of my shoes yet again. Every step seems to get louder and more painful in my mind until my mind just stops all together. The doors had swung open.
"Mr Lester," a man says. I assume he's the doctor, he probably knows what is going on."
"How is he? Is he okay?" I ask, louder than probably needed.
"Your friend, Mr. Howell is in a fatal condition but I think he wants to see you."
My face falls as I stop breathing. Fatal condition. Dan might not make it. I might lose Dan to my own selfishness.
I bit my lip so hard I taste my blood. I then nod and walk in to see a still Dan. Tears well up in my eyes, he looks terrible. His face is white and his eyes are almost closed. The large machine attached to his body is probably the only thing keeping him alive. I want to scream at the sight of him.
"Hey Philly," He smiles.
I force a slight smile onto my face, in hopes that it will comfort him.
"Daniel."
"Phil, i'm sorry for all this. I never wanted to hurt you."
Great. Five seconds into the conversation and I already want to die.
"No bear, please. Don't say that."
"Phil... I don't know what condition i'm in so I wanted to tell you....."
"No!" I shout, stepping back, "No Dan, you're not going to die! You're going to be fine! Just... just be strong. Don't say goodbyes... please, you don't need to. You're my strong baby boy, you can do this."
He looks away as he starts to cry. He doesn't want me to see him sad but this whole situation already makes me want to kill myself.
"Phil... I love you. I can't promise anything... I can't promise that i'll live or die. Please just know that if i'm not here physically, i'm still in here." He lifts his arm and puts his hand on my heart. I feel the cold tears slip from my face.
"No Dan. Baby. You can't leave me. You can't die."
"I can't promise that Philly. But I promise i'll always be with you. If I don't make it, don't do anything to yourself keep going, stay strong."
"Dan..."
"Phil, stop. I'll try my best to be strong but please promise me you'll still be the beautiful, happy Phil I know after this. Promise me?"
"I.. I promise," I whisper.
I stare at his now peaceful face. He exhales deeply, his eyes looking up at mine. I grab his had and smile at him In return, his eyes slowly close.

The only thing I hear after that is my own screams.

TO BE CONTINUED...