More Than a Bestfriend

Chapter 8

Phil's POV

I wake up to the sound of silence calming me. Dan's body is still against mine, warm and comforting. As his chest moves up and down, his warm breath heats up my neck. I haven't had such a peaceful sleep in a long time. Just having Dan cuddle me has made me feel at peace.
I hear him yawn quietly.
"Good morning Daniel," I say.
I feel him snuggle even closer to me, if that's possible.
He sighs happily, "Good morning baby."
His voice is so deep and sexy, it makes my heart want to leap out from inside me. I feel myself blush over the cute name. He makes me so happy sometimes! I can't contain myself, I flip myself over so that i'm face to face with Dan. My nose is almost touching his. I can feel his breath every time he exhales.
"Dan. I have something to tell you."
He smiles at me, his eyes are half-open, I can tell he is still very sleepy.
"Yeah Phil, anything."
His eyes are still mostly closed, and yet they still look so beautiful and innocent. He's still grinning up at me. He is honestly so perfect, I don't deserve him.
"I love you," I whisper.
I watch him blush as we look into each other's eyes. It didn't matter that we were so uncomfortably close right now. The closeness is the only thing I have to hold onto.

Dan's POV

"I love you too Phil," I whisper back. I do love him. I love him so much more than I have ever loved anyone. I know I will never stop loving him.

We sat there for what seemed like forever, just looking into each other's eyes smiling. It should've been awkward but honestly, but I just like looking into his bright, blue eyes whenever I can.

I close my eyes, tilting my head slightly and lean in to kiss Phil. He kisses me back. Unlike our recent times, this kiss is slow and clean. I no longer get butterflies when we kiss, it just feels like something I must do and that I will always want to do. It's no longer a surprise to me.

Phil slowly breaks off the kiss.
"I'm gonna make you breakfast honey," he smiles at me.
I giggle, "How about we make it together?"
"Like an old married couple?"
"Sure Phil," I laugh.
Phil hops out of bed excitedly and starts towards the door.
I watch as he walks away happily.
"Dat ass," I smirk.
Phil turns around quickly and shakes his head blushing, "Don't be naughty."
He turns back around.
"Mmm..." I start.
"Stahp!" He yells laughing.
I get out of bed and run up behind him, hitting his ass on my way.
"Hey!" He yells.
I run down the hallway, Phil chasing after me.
"Dan come here!" He yells after me.
"Nice try Philly!"
I run through the kitchen with Phil still behind me. I quickly feel his arms around me as he pulls me back,
"Don't call me Philly!" He yells playfully.
He lifts me off of my feet slightly. I'm laughing uncontrollably.
"Woah!" Phil yells as he slips, leaving me landing on top of him.
"Phil! Are you alright?"
He giggles, "I'm fine. Help me up?"
I grab his hands and pull him up to his feet. I only let go of one hand, holding the other as we walk into the kitchen.
•••
After making breakfast together, we decide to shoot a video on Phil's channel.
Phil starts off the video,
"Hey guys! So happy christmas eve, eve, eve, eve," his voice gets lower with every eve.
I mouth, "What the hell?" while he is shooting. He continues to ignore me and show them his advent calendar, then giving them news about a contest. After that, we walk into the kitchen and then turn the camera on again. We film an 8 minute video of us making christmas cookies together. While Phil is talking, I hit his ass with the rolling pin, continuing what we started this morning. Around the end, we're holding hands off-screen while Phil is shooting. We name the video "How to Make Christmas Cookies." I think it was pretty funny myself. I love making videos with Phil whenever possible. It makes vlogging so much better.
•••
Phil's POV

Even though the day seemed pretty long, it was the best day i've had in awhile. I spent the entire day by Dan's side, I don't see how today could've been any better. After we edit and upload our video, it's already 11 o'clock. We decide to head to bed. As I have my hand on my door handle, about to go to bed, Dan grabs my wrist.
"Ouch!" I pull my arm away.
Dan bites his lip quickly, "Hell, i'm so sorry, I forgot about that."
"It's alright Dan, what do you need?"
"I was wondering......" He pauses, "I loved sleeping with you, can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
I smile, "Always."
He blushes and replies, "Always."
•••
I yell and sit up quickly. My heart is moving at an unhealthy pace. My face is cold and I find myself filled with panic. I feel something move beside me, causing me to yell again.
"Phil..." It's Dans voice. I'm in bed with Dan.... i'm safe. It was a nightmare.
"Phil are you okay?"
I start to breath slower, "I'm alright, just a nightmare."
I start to lay back down, my heart continuing to race.
Tears slide down my face.
"I'm sorry for waking-"
"Shh," he whispers, "I'm here okay? As long as you're with me, you'll be safe. I will never let anything hurt you. You have nothing to fear, just go back to sleep honey."
He wraps his arms around me and rubs my back.
"Thank you," I whisper back.
"Always."

After a minute, his breathing is deep and his eyes are closed. I know he's asleep. I smile, he looks so happy and peaceful. As for me, I lay in bed, not daring to close my eyes. My nightmares aren't just imagination, they're my demons. They're there every night. They want me dead. They're always there making sure that every moment of my life is living hell.

I quietly slide out of bed, walk into the bathroom and find my razor. I look at it for a second.
We meet again, I think to myself.
I take it down to a bare spot on my left forearm and I drag it across harshly. Blood. Lots of blood. I add another cut on my right wrist.
It hurts my arms badly so I fight back tears. It does relieve me though, makes me feel better.

I wrap bandages around my cuts so that I won't bleed out while i'm in bed with Dan. I walk into our room and crawl back into bed.
I continue to lie awake, not touching Dan anymore. I need to keep my own pain away from him.

My eyes stay open, keeping me from re-seeing what killed me not long ago.

I can't drown my demons. They know how to swim.

__________________________________
A/N

Sorry if that sucked. It took awhile to write cuz I was having writers block. So yeah sorry it took so long to update.

Also that Christmas video is legit. Every detail. At 5:30 you can see them holding hands and at 4:05 he hits Phil's ass lol. So yeah check that out.

And that last line was from the song, "Can You Feel My Heart."

And sorry if I said sorry alot, i'm Canadian. -Jennica