More Than a Bestfriend

Chapter 9

Dan's POV

I open my eyes to Phil sleeping beside me. I'm glad he fell back asleep after his nightmare last night. He woke up in a panic which woke me up as well, I comforted him and then fell right back asleep. When he wakes up, i'll ask him about his nightmare.

His breath is light and warm and he looks so cute, I can't help but smile. I do notice how tired he looks though, maybe he didn't get much sleep at all. I reach my hand up and stroke his jet black hair. His bed-head is so adorable, his thick locks are everywhere.
I yawn as I pull the warm covers off my body. Phil's body heat was the only thing keeping the cold air out so I shiver before getting to my feet. Phil looks so comfortable, I start to pull the sheets up before I notice something. Surrounding Phil is blood. His blood is on the sheets, on the comforter, and soaked through the bandages he used to cover his wrists.
The smile falls from my face instantly. Phil cut himself again last night. He cut himself way deeper than he ever should've.

"Phil," I whisper. I know I have to clean this up right away. Luckily, Phil is a deep sleeper. He won't wake up no matter what I do to him. I fight back a couple tears as I walk around the bed towards Phil. Slowly, I pull the sheets off of his sleeping body and I put my arms underneath him. Taking a deep breath, I lift him off of the bed. He doesn't move a muscle.
I carry him into my bedroom and gently place him in my bed. He's still sleeping soundly so I tuck him in and shut the door behind me.

"I wish you wouldn't do this to yourslef," I say aloud, as if i'm talking to him. I find myself back in Phil's room, ripping off the blankets. Though the blood stained sheets feel soft in my arms, they hurt me so much to be carrying them.
I push the sheets into the wash, turn the machine on and head back into my own room where I see a sleeping Phil in my bed.

Slowly, I pull the sheets down, revealing his half naked body. The blood-soaked bandages cover his scars from last night. I slowly un-wrap the bandages, one after the other.
"Oh my g-" my voice cracks. There are so many scars on his wrists, it's like a stab to my own heart just to see them.
"I'll be right back honey," I say. The bathroom is right in front of his door. I reach for a wash cloth and put it under the sink. It turns a darker shade as the warm water drowns it. Quickly, I rush into Phil's room to clean him up. I pat his wrist with the wet cloth. I'm worried it might sting him causing him to wake up, but so far so good. I do the other wrist before tucking him back in.
Once again, I close the door.

Phil's POV

"What the hell?" I say as I open my eyes. I was in my own room when I went back to bed last night. Or so I thought... maybe I sleepwalked last night. I roll over to get out of bed as a sharp pain runs up my arm, causing me to stop. "Damn bandages, they're supposed to stop the fricking pain."
I continue to get out of Dan's bed, barely able to open my eyes.

I'm honestly surprised that I got an extra hour or two of sleep last night. I guess that's good, i'll be less bitchy when I find Dan. Maybe he's asleep still. I grab the cold handle and twist it, opening the door.
I look down at my body, i'm only in boxers, guess i'll have to go clean myself up. I'll just go into my room and grab what I need. I go into my room, only to find Dan missing. Dan's not the only thing missing though, my sheets are gone as well.
"What the fu-" I start.
Something else is missing... my bandages are gone. The blood is even cleaned off of my wrists.
Screw clothes, I should go see Dan.
"Dan?" I call out, walking into the kitchen. The smell of Delia Smith pancakes start to take over my mind.
"Mmm..." I smile, "Hey Dan?"
I barely finish my sentence before he comes rushing towards me. I feel his body crash against mine, almost sending me tumbling over. He squeezes my body in a tight embrace.
I laugh, "What got into you?"
He lets go and puts his hands on my shoulders, "Well, I just realized how much I love you. I want to make every moment count. I want you to be happy."
I want to pretend I don't know what he is hinting at. I want to play stupid... but I know damn well what he's talking about. I lift his hands off of me and step back.
"Does this have anything to do with last night?"
I watch his face fall as he looks down at his feet. "Well... Not all of it."
"Did you clean me up?"
"Yes."
I feel myself warm up, apart from the embarrassment of him finding out, it's cute that he did all that for me.
"Oh Dan... you didn't have to do that."
"Yeah I did. I couldn't just leave you laying in your own blood."
That hurt me. Not in an insult way, but in a worse way. Guilt, shame....
"Well thank you honey..."

He looks up at me. His big brown eyes look pleading and innocent. They seemed so bold until I noticed he was fighting back tears.
"Dan, are you alri-"
He interrupts me, "No i'm not alright! I can't be! Not until I know my boyfriend isn't going to cut himself to death!" He pauses to choke back a sob, "I don't want you to die Phil..."
We look at each other's eyes for a few seconds before I feel the tears come o my eyes. I didn't know I was hurting him like this. I didn't know he thought about it like that. I also didn't know I cut myself deep enough for the blood to go through my bandages. I wrapped myself around his torso and cried on his shoulder.

I cry for a few minutes while Dan rubs my back and consoles me. Finally, my weeping dies down. I put my head up and look at his wet shoulder.
"Sorry."
He smiles softly, "Don't be. Here," he motions me to the couch. "sit down."
I do as he says as he sits next to me.

"Oh Phil... where do I start? Don't apologize. The fact that you cut won't change my opinion of you. The love I have won't fade because you have scars. It just makes me aware that I need to love you even more. That I need to give you a reason not to cut."
He looks up at me, biting his lip. His hair is so cute when it's all curly like this. I crawl up at sit in between his crossed legs and put one leg on either side of his body.
He smiles, "You're kinda crushing my dick you know."
I start to climb back while apologizing but he pulls me back.
"I never said it was a bad thing," he blushes, "I like you close."
I giggle, "Damn I love you."
"I love you too Philly."
"Danny."
"'Noo, no full names." He says playfully.
I was about to make a comeback before I smell something that makes my nose crinkle.
"What's burning?"
Dan curses under his breath.
I roll my eyes, "I'll get it."
"No wait." He pulls me back again.
"Phil, please promise me you will do your best to never cut yourself again."

I know i'm not smiling anymore.
"Dan, I-" I bite my lip. "I just don't know if I can."
"No bear, please. For me. I won't be able to sleep soundly knowing you might be slicing open your own skin."
I run my hand along his face. He always cares about me so much. I wonder if he knows how much I care about him.
"Okay Dan. I promise. It'll be hard for me... but i'll do it for you."

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A/N

Yeah I don't love this chapter that much tbh. It's more of a filler. Sorry I haven't been active. I just got diagnosed with anxiety and depression before getting 4 teeth pulled out of my face. So yeah, it's been a crappy week. I'll try and be more active.

Also, I might start an original book on here called "Drowning." I'll take more time on that one, so please follow if you'd be interested.

Lastly, i'm deleting my 1st chapter cuz it's trash. Like it got a bunch of views and only half of those people even tried the 2nd chapter. The 1st one is irrelevant anyways.

Thanks guys! -Jennica