More Than a Bestfriend

Chapter 10

Phil's POV

"I don't want to hear your shitty excuses for why you were late! I was so damn worried! I thought something bad had happened to you! You weren't even answering your damn phone! You ignored every worried text I sent you while I worried my ass off about you! Do you not fuc-" I stopped listening. I had just walked in the apartment to find Dan waiting to yell at me. All I did was go for a night-walk to calm down after me and Dan had another falling out this evening. We have fought every night for the past week. Needless to say, i've been cutting myself again. We're also not sleeping together, I don't know how much longer I can take all of this yelling and fighting. Soon... i'll just break.
"I'm going to bed," I interrupt his continued yelling as I walk to my room.
"Great," he retorted, "Now you can go feel sorry for yourself alone. Blame me! Have pity for yourself as you cut your damn wrists. Whatever, why should I care if you don't?"

My heart stops.
That was the worst thing Dan has ever said to me. Tears fly down my face as soon as the words are said. I turn away so he wouldn't see me cry.
"Wait-" Dan starts as I run down the hall.
"Phil!" My door is already closed.

Dan's POV

As soon as I had said it, I knew how wrong it was to have been said. I have never felt so disgusted with myself. I have never hated myself so much. I wish I could take it back, make everything better. Honestly, everything with Phil has been so shitty lately and I just want to fix it.

I turn the cold handle to my door and slam it behind me. Anger is the only emotion burning inside of me. I'm mostly angry with myself... but i'm still mad at Phil for leaving. It's all his fault anyways, I shouldn't be sorry. My eyes shoot to an empty spot on the wall. I close my eyes and punch it as hard as I can and I yell in pain.
I hear Phil sob, I guess that means he knows that i'm pissed off. I don't know what to do about any of this. Yelling at the broken boy won't fix him.
*SLAM!*
I immediately feel very weak. The front door to our apartment was just closed. I can bet my life that it was Phil leaving the house.
With a small amount of hope, I call out to Phil.
Not a word.
"PHIL!" I run out of my room. The silence makes me want to cry. Why didn't I just go apologize?
I run into his room to find the drawers to his dresser pulled apart, and objects missing from his room.
He left me... now l I can do is pray that it's not for long.
My eyes stare at the missing photo from his bedside table. I sit on his bed and put my hand in the spot where the photo would have sit.

Phil's POV

I stare at the photo of me and Dan in my hands. I took it from my room, as a memory of us for when i'm gone. I'm not sure how long i'll stay in this hotel for, but I guess I can get some time to myself.
*bzz...*
I look over at my phone to see Dan has texted me asking me to come home.
Screw Dan, I think to myself. I'm done with him. Maybe i'll just leave him for good.
My phone continues to buzz in a frenzy of panic texts from Dan. He video messages me.
Okay fine.. I pick up.
"Phil. Where are you?" Dan looks genuinely worried but it's my turn not to care, isn't it?
"I'm not going to tell you."
"Please come home."
"No."
"Phil i'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did to you. It was disgusting."
I think for a second. I don't know why I should forgive him. He's only pretending to care.
"Dan, I don't think i'm coming home."
"What do you mean?! Don't leave me!"
My heart has hardened to a point where I couldn't care less if he misses me. I can see his eyes get watery and it doensn'y hurt me anymore.
"I'd rather just stay at a hotel and 'have pity for myself as I cut my wrists,'" I mock.
Tears stream down his face, I already feel bad kind of bad... why was I born to be like this?! Caring all the time? I need to do one good thing for myself and forget him.
"Phil... i'm so sorry."
"No you're not! You don't care..."
"But I do! What I said isn't true! I promise! It was just heat of the moment. I love you."
"Show me."
He pauses as I watch him think for a moment.
"Okay one second."
Dan is no longer in sight anymore. I can't help but be curious of what he's going to do. I doubt any romance will make me want him back.
I hear him yell from the back of what used to be be our happy little apartment. He curses once after another weak yell before I hear his footsteps walk towards me.
Curiosity quickly fades to terror as he shows his bleeding wrist to the camera. I know for a fact he cut too deep, blood is covering his arm.
I scream, "Dan! Go to the hospital!! I'll meet you there!"
"Why?" He asks.
"Just. Go." I say as I shut of the camera. He's going to lose blood quickly, I wish I was there to help him. Why didn't I know he would try and prove his love for me in a way that only I could relate to...
My brain is dead as I go to the hospital near the apartment. I rush inside and ask for Dan Howell. The receptionist tells me he never came in.
I look at my phone, Dan texted right after the call, saying, "You never needed a hospital so why should i?"
"Please!" I beg the receptionist, "Please send an ambulance to...."

TO BE CONTINUED....