More Than a Bestfriend

Chapter 12

Phil's POV

"Mr. Lester! MR. LESTER!!"
I stop screaming and turn to the man who had called my name. This man is also the man who told me Dan is in a fatal condition. I hate this man.
"Don't you DARE speak to me." I say stepping towards him, "My bestfriend is dead..." I sob, glancing back at his body.
"Your friend is not dead. Mr. Howell's medication has only finally gone through his body. He is just simply asleep."
"He's..." I look at him closely and watch him breathe. With every rise and fall of his chest, my mind gets calmer until I finally can think again. I wipe the hot tears from my face, pull a chair beside him, and grab his hand. My eyes are focused on the continued rise and fall of his chest.
"Mr. Lester."
I wait for the man to start speaking, but I realize he wants me to respond first.
"Y-yes...?"
"You should leave. I mean.. you could stay but I recommend getting some sleep. Especially if you're planning on coming to see him again tomorrow."
"I won't be able to sleep knowing Dan's here... I may as well stay with him."
"Okay, that's fine. Also, we just got some tests done on him. He's going to be alright after all."
I let out a giant sigh of relief. Gently, I squeeze Dan's hand and whisper, "I always knew you were strong baby. Never doubt yourself."

Dan's POV

I slowly open my eyes to find myself in the hospital room. I made it. I'm alive. It's almost pitch black but I can still barely make out Phil's smile in front of me.

"Dan! You're awake!"
"That I am. I survived so far."
"No Dan. You were as strong as I thought you'd be. Your tests came back showing that you'll be just fine. Just fine! The doctor informed me half an hour ago that you can leave tomorrow."
"That's great," I smile, "finally we can be alone together."
He puts his hand on my face to stroke my hair, leaving his other hand on mine, which I did not realize he was holding before.
Even though i'm happy to see Phil so relieved, I almost wish I hadn't of made it. I hurt Phil. I broke his heart, but now here he is, holding my hand, staying up all night with me as I lay here. He can't suffer for me anymore.
"Phil..." I sigh, "You should leave."
"Why?"
"You've done enough for me. I'm fine, get some rest."
"No bear, I will aways be here for-"
"Just leave," I whisper.
He pauses. I'm not sure if he thought I was kidding... but i'm not. I'm a danger to him. He should never be around me again. I'll only hurt him.
"But I-"
"Are you dumb? Get out. Go home. Get sleep."
He looks at me completely stunned. His eyes are wide and his mouth is open. He's completely heartbroken. He pushes his chair back. Nevermind.. this is wrong. Lovers don't push each other away.
"Come back." I say.
"You've done this one too many times!" He whispers loudly.
"Dan. You always think u can just treat me like shit and then come back to me whenever you want. You're so wrong, you are the most selfish person i've ever met. Goodbye."
"PHIL!"
He slams the door to my room behind him and he leaves me alone.
He abandons me to my own thoughts so I can drown. I won't sleep now. But I also can't move, i'm stuck here.
I let him down again. I hurt him for the very last time. I really am selfish. I need to make myself stay away.
I stare at the black nothingness in front of me. The sound of silence has never made me want to kill myself more.
"Cut off my ropes and let me fall," I whisper.
3
2
1
I rip out the wires attached to my body. I always wondered what death feels like. Hopefully i'll know now.

Phil's POV

It's a cold walk back to the apartment. It gives me time to think about what had happened. Why had Dan pushed me away like that? I don't even know what i've done. I can't tell if it's me or if it's just whatever is inside of him. Where did the old Dan go?

I reach my apartment. Our apartment where I use my keys to unlock the door. I notice my breath hit the cool air as the door opens. I never realized how cold it was out there, I guess I had other things on my mind.

The open door welcomes me with the light turned on. That's gonna hurt the power bill. I don't want to eat or go to bed. I just do what i'm best at. I walk into the bedroom Dan was before the incident, and on my bed I see what I was searching for. The razor blade Dan had taken to cut himeself. I sit down on his bed and I slide the blade across my wrist quickly. A thin line of blood appears. It's not enough. It's never enough. I push the blade into my skin, deeper and deeper until I notice the tears in my eyes. I drag it through my wrist and pull it out quickly. The blood comes quickly and drips down my arm. Okay.. it looks like I need those damn bandages again. I walk to the bathroom and wrap my arm around twice.

While Dan sleeps peacefully, i'll just sit on my bed and let my demons rip me apart. They're awfully hungry tonight.

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A/N

As you can see, I was tired writing this but i'm tryna update every night. Soon though, I have great phanfic ideas that i'll put to use. This one is is the simple sad romance but the next two will be brand new ideas. Follow if u wanna read em! :D

Thanks so much for all ya'll reading so far, i'm so close to 200 wtf!! :D

Also, special shoutout to Ars1234ever  who has been my #1 reader, I really appreciate everything you've done😊

-Jennica