Painting For My Grandpa | √Wattys 2016

Painting For My Grandpa #12

"Hi baby," she said back.

I heard the familiar faint typing sound in the background and I immediately knew she was working.

What the heck Mum.

"Mum I need your full attention," I spat before I could stop myself.

The typing sound immediately stopped and I cleared my throat.

"So how's everything?" I asked awkwardly, unable to bear the silence any longer.

This call was already uncomfortable enough for me.

"Things are fine here honey. Your father's been promoted recently and Uncle Ian's shop is prospering. I heard you recommended his shop to some fans of yours." Her voice replied.

The tone and tightness in her voice made it clear she was just as uncomfortable as I was.

For once I've found something we have in common.

"Y...yeah," I muttered.

"Listen Aspen what did you call for really? You never call without a reason. In fact," she paused," you never call."

Her voice had saddened and guilt has once again edged into my mind.

I've never felt so guilty and angry in my whole life.

I have a freaking life bitch.

In fact, you never call.

The sentence echoed and rang in my brain, resounding through the darkness of the guilt and anger coursing through me.

"Aspen? Listen I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that I know you're living the dream and your career is really important. It's just that... Sometimes I wish you were like when you were younger. Before we began to drift apart. " I heard her choke back a sob and my heart stopped.

Her shell is broken . After all these years of fighting, she's never talked like this before. It was always about how wrong I was, how I don't care.

This was new to me.

"I've said many things I shouldn't have. I've just never known how to deal with this between us. We are very different. It's hard for me to understand you thoroughly like everyone would expect me to as a therapist. I've made mistakes. And I made another one when I forced you to take care of Grandpa without asking beforehand. I realise that now. I want my baby back. I want you back. Please understand. I'll make it up to you. Please," she begged through her sobs.

I never thought such a day would come.

When we would finally make amends to the bonds we have broken.

Her words pierced right through the walls I've built up through my teenage years and into my throbbing heart.

"Mum. I was actually calling...to thank you," I said silently.

I heard a sniffle before she replied.

"What?"

"If it weren't for you... I would have never had the chance to bond with Grandpa. You have done many things that angered me, offended me but it was... it was wrong of me to drift away from you. Growing up, I lost the meaning of what family meant to me because of the both of us always fighting. But now... I'm starting to see it. I'm still not there yet but I'm starting to. So yeah Mum, let's start over. Let's be how we used to be. It'll take me some time but... yeah. Let's." The words fell out of my mouth uncontrollably and once they were all out my chest heaved into a sigh.

The words I've always been keeping inside.

The words I kept locked away because I was too stubborn to say them out loud.