i exist [as the definition of nonexistence]

I'd like to see the stars, pt. one

for the thief (and sky)
~~~

You open your eyes and the world is dark. There is ink and oil swirling through your soul, in your eyes. You are a child of nighttime, and someone tells you that you will never see the sun. That's okay because you prefer the stars

You see the girl with black eyes, her hair in pigtails and you think two thoughts. One is that you're a bit scared of her and everything she stands for. The other is you wonder if you can take her pretty silver necklace without her noticing. You're standing in the corner of her room, a part of the shadows, and she's staring up the wall to talk to the Sandman, eyes wide. She has not yet figured it out, but she will.

You take the necklace out of anger.

You are creeping through the glass trees when you hear the song. Low and soft and alluring. It's a tangible sound that swirls across your skin and into your head, making you dizzy with emotions that aren't yours. Someone is a singing, and you want to steal their voice. So you peek around a tree, and you see him. And you despise him because he is the embodiment of light, a living Icarus. His wings and hair are soft and glowing, in shades of gold and pink and pearl. His eyes are closed against the world as he sings.

They say you shouldn't steal a voice. They say it's a nightmarish sin. But you hate how his voice makes you feel, and so you come up behind him and slit his throat because beautiful things should not exist in this world.

You take his voice out of something, but you don't put words to it.

The girl visits one last time, and still she does not see you. She screams into the void of the Well, cries to the Sandman about trivial ideas such as Fate and Death and Happiness.

"How can I be happy here when this world has taken everything from me?" Her voice is a howl, shattering the trees around her. She is a storm, destroying everything in her path. And as she stalks away, anger burning in those black eyes, you return the necklace to her neck. You don't know why. You don't even know why you took it. Maybe because the gemstones reminded you of the constellations you used to watch.

The world around you decays, and for some reason, you think of the angel boy, the one who sang. You kept his voice inside that necklace, and now the girl has it. The angel will never sing again.

This, this knowledge somehow tears you apart, and you begin running. You don't know where you're going, but your eyes are closed and you're following something, something, something tugging just under your ribs.

It leads you to a room. In the not so far distance, you can hear the Lady of the Wishing Well cackling. You want to run again, but you do not. You walk up the room and notice that there is no door. It's not a room at all really, but a vaguely shaped box, almost like a lack of something, a shape cut out. It is a box of shadows, and you fit in perfectly. You melt into the wall, melt out, and then you are in a room glowing gold.

It is the angel. And he is pacing in small circles, trying to scream, but no noise is coming out. You feel a jolt of fear pulse through you as you step forward.

"Angel."

He turns to you, and his eyes are black voids filled with a vehemence so deep and roiling that you are scared you will drown in his eyes. You take another step, and his body straightens, pulled taut and ready to fight. His mouth forms a word.

"You."

And then he lunges at you.