Is Your Warriors OC A Mary-Sue?

Dawnrunner

This OC was submitted by Happydoggy18.

Name: Dawnrunner

Nice name, I like it, but it is one of those name catagories that are just uh... a bit overused by different people...

Nickname: just Dawn

Makes sense

Clan/Rank: Warrior in RiverClan

Wow, I honestly don't really see too many RiverClan OC's even when I'm just looking at other people's submissions to other Mary Sue books.

Apprentices: None yet

That's good for an OC, because usually you'd see people giving their OC an apprentice straight after becoming a Warrior, which doesn't really make sense...

Gender: She-cat

Okay, I have to say that Dawnrunner being a she-cat kinda stereotypes the 'Dawn' prefix a bit more. In my opinion, there are too many female 'Dawn' OC's, I think I've only ever seen one male OC with that prefix.

Looks: http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/flameclan-roleplaying/images/a/af/Wallpaper-white-background-cat-black-blue-eyes-backgrounds-desktop-animals-array-wallwuzz-hd-wallpaper-3007-350x350.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150101210828

I really like how she looks, and her fur pattern is one that fits with RiverClan, so she's good on appearance!

Mate: None, and she has limited interest in getting one

Heh, don't see that with she-cats often, so that's good!

Sexuality: Demisexual (can only experience attraction once she gets to know the other cat very well)

This is original, especially considering I never even heard of demisexuality until I saw your comment.

Age: 22 moons

And it gets better! Y'know how I said that most people give their OC's an apprentice right after they become a Warrior? Well, Dawn is definitely not a new warrior, and not having an apprentice is great for her backstory and originality.

Parents: Her mother's a kittypet, and her father was a RiverClan deputy before a rogue killed him.

Ooh, forbidden love? That's interesting, but a bit too overused. However, I have never seen the parents being a Deputy and Kittypet. Usually it's two cats from two Clans.

Siblings: Duskpelt and Daybringer

I like the theme you did with their names, but to be honest, Daybringer is a bit of a stretch of a name. But other than that, I think their names are cute. Can I assume that Dawnrunner is the oldest, Daybringer the second oldest and Duskpelt is the youngest, or no?

Backstory: When Dawn and her siblings were just kits, her parents made the decision to have the young cats grow up with RiverClan instead of with the Twolegs like their mother. But on the way to RiverClan, they met a rogue who kept saying they were 'trespassing.' Dawn's father argued with the rogue, telling him that they needed to pass anyway. One thing led to another, and a fight broke out. Dawn's mother and her siblings all made it to RiverClan, but her father never did.

Okay, so that's semi-original, being that the father was killed by a rogue, I see that a lot when looking at other people's OC's.

Likes: Being alone, hunting, swimming, snowmelt, newleaf, moonrise, and practicing her fighting.

A lot of cats like newleaf, but then again, for RiverClan, newleaf is a big deal, since it melts the ice off the lake and streams.

Dislikes: Cats who don't honour the warrior code (like rogues), disloyalty, most apprentices, arrogance, having to depend on other cats, not being in control of a situation, and leaf-bare.

I definitely understand the dislike of rogues, and not liking apprentices is usually only given as a trait to the very few elder OC's out there.

Strengths: Very agile and fast cat, and moves like a hardened veteran in battle despite being quite a young warrior. Strong swimmer, highly independent, and uncommonly justice-oriented.

Again, I understand the 'justice-oriented' because of what happened to her father, and being a good swimmer comes in the package of having RiverClan blood. But being so strong and determined in battle while still being a bit young, (which by the way, 22 moons isn't that young for cats, that's practically fully grown.) is a bit too overused.

Weaknesses: She has a dangerous temper, can be impatient, will refuse help even if she needs it, quite cold/sarcastic to cats she doesn't know well, and not very good at socializing.

Well, I have to give this a 10/10 all because I am exactly this!

Extra: She values loyalty, honour, and justice above all else. Do something that violates moral code, and she'll personally make sure you don't escape it without severe punishment.

So, she's kinda like a Hollyleaf? Or maybe a cat version of Sans? But that can be a bit common to find in OC's...

So, overall, I give Dawnrunner... I'll have to say
80% Original
20% changeable