Is Your Warriors OC A Mary-Sue?

Rattle Of the Threatening Snake (Snakestar)

This OC was submitted by ravenstorme.

Name: Rattle of the threatening Snake/ Rattle Snake / Snakestar

I like it, I don't see names like this very often, as in, nicknames for Tribe cats that are more than one word.

Nickname: Rattle Snake

Clan/Rank: Formly Cave Guard of the Tribe of Endless Snow. Currently founder and leader of Snakeclan.

I have never seen something like this before. Quick question though, did Rattle Snake live at the time of the Ancients? Or no?

Gender: Tom

Finally, not a she-cat!

Looks: Dark brown tabby tom with light brown paws, chest, and snout. His tail has a distinctive white tip. He has venom-yellow eyes, and notably long canine teeth.

Wow, I like how descriptive. And I like how he looks, it explains his name a lot.

Sexuality: Homosexual

Yus.

Age: 30 moons

This is not bad, actually, since by the sound of it, he left with the group when he was either a to-be or new cave guard, and it takes eight moons to become a to-be from being a kit, and since it took about a moon to get to the new home, I'd say this is evenly balanced for an age.

Parents: Sunny Wish (mother deceased) Hard Claw (father deceased)

Hmm, the thing is, the Bio didn't say anything on how they died...

Siblings: Non

Back story: Ever since he was a kit he always dreamed of a place beyond the constant storms of the tundra. When he got older, he convinced Stormteller for him to take some other cats to find a land that's more suitable for life. The young healer agreed. So, Rattle Snake, Flare Whisp, Soft Light, Quiet Stone, and Wind Swept. They traveled through the tundra looking for somewhere where there was dense trees and lots of prey. Wind Swept died from frost bite along the way, and it only drove the group to find a new home. Finally, after traveling for what seemed like a moon, they made it to the purfect territory. A wooded area untouched by two legs. They set up camp in a clearing. However, rouges and loners in the territory didn't like the disruption. To ensure peacez Rattle snake offered a home to the native cats. Some accepted, while others left. Soft light, a beautiful pale tan she-cat didn't like how Rattle Snake seemed like the 'healer' of this place. She abandoned her friends to go who knows where. Rattle Snake and his group of cats lived peacefully until one night at moonhigh. Soft Light attacked with a large group of rouges with intents to take the other group's territory and kill them all. They fought and fought untill the moon shone with light. Rattle Snake and Soft Light paw to paw and in combat , but something forced them apart. Spirits. Starclan. One spirit forced Soft Light to leave the place forever. Her rouges were all already dead or dieing, so there was no use in arguing. The spirits gave Rattle Snake the name of Snakestar, and called their group Snakeclan.

Okay then, ally gone savage, it's cool, but I see it a lot in OC's... And what I don't really get is how Soft Light's group was defeated, when it sounds like SnakeClan was outnumbered...

Relation to canon characters: Nupe

Hahah, I just now real is ed that this was in the submission template, but absolutely no one has done it! Well, can't really change that now...

Likes: Snakes, trees, being leader, watching kits play, sunshine

Umm, I get the whole namesake thing, but snakes aren't really something to like when you're a cat...

Dislikes: Tundras, Windteller, snow, being cold, Soft Light

Windteller? I don't think anything like that was mentioned in the bio... but I'm guessing it's like Stoneteller or Stormteller?

Strengths: Very good fighter, but only in close combat

Does he have short legs? That would explain why he's only good in close combat fighting.

Weaknesses: Fish, he loves the taste of them but he would never admit it.

That's funny, I don't see things like this, normally it's a trait that opposites their strengths, but this is unique, I like it.

Extras: Nupe

Okay, so I give Rattle Of the Threatening Snake
99% Original
1% Changeable

I really liked this OC, and I also loved the new setting. A tundra! Never seen that before! Mind telling me where in the real world it is? I love knowing that sort of thing, just as fun side-info.